Barney's Very Special Guest
Barney: Today on Barney and Friends we have a very special guest. This lady has been very famous in the news and is nice enough to be on our show....Loriena Bobbit!
Loriena: Thanks Barney, I'm glad to be here to talk with you. I've always wanted to know, are you a boy or girl dinosaur?
Barney: I'm a boy dinosaur. Here on Barney and Friends we feel that it's important to be proud of your gender-
Loriena(interrupting): Thanks. You said you had a few questions you wanted to ask me.
Barney: You got to be in the news a lot. I like being famous. Was being really famous fun for you? Sales of things with your picture on them must be really popular. Do they have Loreina and John dolls?
Loriena: Well people didn't like me the way they like a lot of people who become famous; a lot of people hated me for what I did to my husband John. And no, there won't be any dolls.famous; a lot of people hated me for what I did to my husband John. And no, there won't be any dolls.
Baby Bop: Why did you cut your husband's winkie off?
Loriena: John wasn't, um...doing what I wanted him to do very well.
Barney: I hear that John's new girlfriend says he does it fine and you're just frigid. Is there any truth to that?
Loriena: I'm not at all frigid!
Barney: Want to prove it after the show?
Loriena: Of course not! I can't believe I'm being propositioned by a purple dinosaur! Are you crazy?
Barney: Hey, wasn't that your defense plea? So you're crazy and frigid! I guess thay goes to show what kind of people go around cutting other people's winkies off!
Loriena: Why you little @#%*! You're going to pay for this!
Barney: Loriena! Please put down the knife. Ar-gg-g-uh!!
Baby Bop: We're having techinal difficulties. Let's roll the credits and sing the new theme song, boys and girls.
Everyone: I love you, you love me, Loriena castrated Barney on love TV. With a really sharp knife, and something purple on the floor, Barney's now a eunuch dinosaur.
Baby Bop: Tune in next week when our guest will be the famous skater Tanaya Harding
-srw
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