Just Some Thoughts.

Well once  again i'm not sure where to begin .There are many things I could talk about but I guess i'll just inprovise. None the less I hope you find what I say  interesting and at least entertaining.

"Love" and "Relationships"

Love is the strangest emotion in  ones life, just when you think you understand it it turns around another corner and goes in a different direction. I had moments in my life when I believed I was in love ,as do all of us. Now looking back i see most were just extreme crushes. I only believe now that i have  truly been in love twice .unfortunetly those relations have since  past. but there isn't a day that goes by  that I do not think about them. SO what is love anyway?To me love isn't  just one feeling it is the end result of many combined emotions you have when you are with someone. Those feelings I believe vari from person to person. In one case I fell in love with a man because he could make me laugh and showed  me that sometimes in order to enjoy life  one must laugh at mistakes instead of harping on them.I loved his ability to take things lightly and move on even though I could never truly comprehend it. He also showed me that taking risks doesn't always have to be scary it can be fun as well  and that if things didn't come out the way I expected at least I tried. He also supported me greatly when it came to my music. He was always there with a hug a kiss or a gentle touch  reinsuring me that even if I thought things went badly they did not apear that way to the outside world.Yes others had told me the same things but he I actully believed. His honesty was his greatest strength and his loyality was unsurpassed and  he always made me feel good about myself . He liked me for me and that was more then enough. In my other case I fell in love with a man because he could bring out the child in me by just being himself he was very young at heart always playing around without any cares in the world .He could be adult if he had to but fun was his main objective I never had a dull moment with him.He was always there in a heartbeat though if I need to talk ,he shared many life events  with me some good some bad but none the less he was there trying  his  best to keep me happy. He always put me first, which over the years I've come to  realize  isan't always the best thing to do but makes things a lot nicer if done properly, as long as the effort is on both sides it can be wonderful. I was convinced I would marry this man but that was many many years ago.Still everything we shared will remain in my memory and his actions don't go unnoticed. So if you are lucky enough to find a person that can truly  make you feel alive and happy keep them close  and even if they move on keep them in your heart, that way they will always be with you . For better or for worse

"Trust"

"Friendship"

Friendship I believe is the most important quality people must have in order to survive through most diffacult times.I have had many so called friends in my life but as I grew older the meaning seem to change .I believed that as long as some one wished to hang out with you they were a friend. As time pressed on it seemed  that those friends were not there when I realy needed them.Now I see that in order to be true friends people must go through a series of events and tragedies  with one another. To actully participate in life events is the true test of friends.Right now I have a very small group of true friends and All of them have been there when I needed to talk or just needed a favor.  In return I am there for them in a heartbeat. Don't know where I would be without them.

Hmn.. trust is kind of tough to explain as well.What is trust? Well to me trust is the ability for  someone to keep your secreats between them and yourself , to know that if needed  they will  never fail you without good reasoning.Trust is the base of "Love" and of "Friendship." with out this vital element you would have niether.I believe it is  the ability to feel  secure enough with someone that you are able to place your  physical well being in there hands and know you will not be hurt by them in any way. I dont trust many people personaly, and I  think alot of them are out there just to hurt one another sad that I believe this but it is how I feel. I believe that trust has to be proven as well. I know it sounds a bit shallow and maybe slightly arrogant but it is what i believe and it is how I determine if someone can be trusted or not. In order for me to trust someone completely I have to be shown that I can rely on them frequently. I do try to trust people  but, when I have done this in the past i've only proven to myself that I am sometimes a poor judge of character and end up getting hurt,but I suppose it is just a part of life everyone has to deal with sooner or later .

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