Darlin, I can't hardly leave you alone.
Darlin, I'm stuck here singin' this song.
Why would I take you, around the world with me?
There'll be no thank you's...Bitch get off a my knee

Whoa...Darlin
Whoa Darlin
Whoa Darlin

(repeat)

Uncle Jed's my daddy, my mama told me so
I guess they got together, eighteen years ago.
Three sheets to the wind I guess they should’ve known
Since they done what they did, I got eleven toes

Chorus:
Uncle Jed, he's my daddy
I don't care, keepin mama happy
Uncle Jed I'll say gladly
I call him uncle, I call him daddy.

My family tree is branchless
My sheep can hardly stand, the strenuous activity I give them cute lambs
Uncle Jed's my daddy, My mama told me so,
I guess they got together eighteen years ago

CHORUS

Clothes shopin at Convient,
You know that you will see me there.
Clothes shopin at Convient
Please mama cut my hair
I dream of livin in a double wide
With a bronze spittoon by my chair
And a eagle that says born to ride
on a shirt I got from you know where.

CHORUS
Clothes shopin at convient(X4)

Well I went to Johnny's house last night,
He said he wondered where I been.
But I could tell that he was guilty now
from his teeth out to his grin.
He said he had recognized my Dodge pick up truck
But I looked at Johnny in the eyes
And said Johnny "What the fuck?"

CHORUS
That asshole, ran over my pig last night
That asshole ran over my pig last night.

Well I get up in the mornin, put on my best pair of cover-alls
get in my Dodge pickup
You know she just don't stall.
So I'm headin' in to town
To go and spread the news
That here before long gonna get a new pair of family shoes

CHORUS
Please mama tell me what to buy
Please mama don't make me cry
Gonna get a new pair of family shoes
New pair of them fancy family shoes.