A Lonely Heart
Chapter One-- Usagi The light shone through the thin lace curtains of her bedroom window, reminding her it was morning.* It was a dream…if only it were reality. I really have to stop having dreams like that. It only makes my real life seem more depressing.* With a sigh, she stood up and walked to the bathroom to shower. The bright yellow of the bathroom tiles and only seemed brighter due to the small window to her right. Walking to the sink, she stared at her reflection sadly.* Why me? Why can’t I have friends, and lead a normal life?* Her normally bright blue eyes seemed duller than normal, her shiny silver blonde hair limp. Grabbing a fistful of the ankle length strands, she glared at it. This was one of the reasons she was ostracized at school, that and her clumsiness. * Why can’t I be more graceful? Why am I even asking that question? I can’t be something I’m not, I guess, and what I am doesn’t seem to be all that fantastic. * Sighing resignedly, she stepped into the shower, wishing the hot water pounding on her skin could rid her of the hurt she would have to go through once more this day. After stepping out of the shower she washed her face quickly, hastily putting on blush and lip-gloss. Once she had her school uniform in order, she walked across the plush blue-gray carpeting, passing her cherry oak dresser and looked once again into the mirror, checking her odangos.* Perfect…the only one in school with this long hair and the only one with odangos...might as well remain original.* With a cynical laugh, she walked swiftly to the door of her bedroom, glancing down the hallway, stood in the doorway and took a deep breath. * Show time. * She walked quickly down the hallway, over the wooden floors, which felt cold against her stockinged feet. Approaching the stairs she pasted a false smile on her face, pinched her cheeks and ran down the stairs lightly grasping the wood banister. The instant her feet touched the ground floor, she launched herself into the sunny kitchen. The single window above the sink was open and the transparent white silk curtains rustled in the breeze. She entered the kitchen at a run and saw her mother, father, and brother all sitting at the table eating peacefully. Her father had a newspaper in front of his face and was sipping contentedly from a mug full of coffee. Her mother was trying to get her younger brother, Shingo, to eat some decent food. She looked up with a smile at her only daughter, and gave her a glass of orange juice. “Is all your homework done, Usagi?” She asked as she handed her son a bright red apple, fresh from the orchard down the road. “Yes, Mama! I have it here.” Usagi replied, pointing to her schoolbag. She watched amused as her brother finally gave in and ate the apple. Shingo munched on his apple, his face mutinous and looked at Usagi. She looked tired this morning, he thought. Must have been up studying all hours again. Who would have thought that HIS sister would have brains? He continued to munch, contemplating his sister. Usagi never noticed her brother looking in her direction as she drank her glass of orange juice quickly. Gathering her book bag from the floor where she placed it when she had sat down at the table, Usagi stood up, kissed her mother and father goodbye and took off for school, moving quickly and happily out the door. * If only they knew the act I go through every morning, making my parents think I am so happy and content with the way my life is going. It would be unfair to tell them my problems, they work SO hard! * Usagi was concentrating hard on her thoughts, and was walking slowly towards school. It never occurred to her to look up as she turned the corner toward school, her right arm lightly brushing the cold cement of the building to her side. She was oblivious to all the happily chatting students heading toward the same cold, institutional building she had been subjected to for the last 3 years. The students looked so happy. All of the students were in groups, and the individual students were heading towards the group that they belonged to. The smiles on their faces and the animated way they moved their hands as they spoke to each other proved they were comfortable showing their emotions to each other, and had made a connection with they person they spoke with.* I only wish that I had someone I could really talk to. Naru is busy with many other things, and can’t be stuck dealing with a leech like me. I look like I’m only hanging around to get some attention from ANYONE. It’s too bad that’s actually what I am doing.* Taking a deep breath, Usagi walked confidently through the thick iron-wrought gates that seemed to close ominously behind her. Usagi walked down the hallways that were full of laughter from the many students that inhabited the relatively small school. She caught sight of Naru and waved a greeting. Naru smiled and walked up to Usagi, looking very happy. “Guess what, Usagi? You will never guess!!” Naru cried excitedly, “Umino asked me to meet his family tonight at a dinner they are having with a couple of other people that they know! Isn’t that great??!” Naru practically squealed with excitement. “Naru, did you forget? Tonight we were going to see the new movie!” Usagi cried with dismay, her plans for the evening were dismissed like they were never planned. Her eyes clouded with tears she refused to shed, knowing in her heart that Umino was far more important in Naru’s life than she was. “Oh, Usagi! I’m soo sorry! It completely slipped my mind when Umino asked. Will you forgive me just this once? We can go tomorrow, ok?” Naru’s green eyes shone with an emerald glow from the mist of tears in her eyes. “I really want to go to this party! I need to meet his family, and gain their acceptance of me. I can prove that I will make a good wife to Umino!” she continued fervently. Usagi took a deep breath to calm her. “It will be alright Naru, honest. But I can’t meet with you tomorrow night because my family and I are…really busy. I’m sorry! You go and have a good time with Umino. I will forgive you, of course. How could I not? You are my best friend. Always remember that.” Usagi stated calmly before saying goodbye and headed to her homeroom, sighing sadly. Usagi entered the homeroom and discovered that nothing had changed since the day before. Still ignored by her fellow students. Most looked up expectantly when the door was opened, expecting Ms. Haruna, and upon seeing only her in the doorway, steadying her emotions, they turned back to their own conversations. Being used to getting the cold shoulder due to her high academic scores and unique hair color, she headed toward her desk. Usagi waded through the different groups standing around, or sitting in their desks, talking enthusiastically to each other on her way to her normal desk. Her desk was in the center of the classroom, its scratched wood surface, with many messages left on the desk after all its years of use. One message was a remnant of the class that she was in. “Usagi is a freak”. Written in bold black letters on her desk. She tried not to be affected by the harsh words, as she had to look at them day after day, refusing to tell Ms. Haruna about her problems with her fellow students.* It's something that I need to just ignore. The more emotion I show, the meaner they will be to me, I’ve learned that already.* She unloaded her school bag, extracting all the documents needed for class. All the papers had neat handwriting and were all done carefully. The more important documents, like her term paper were on the very top. She decided to waste some time by reading over the page again as she waited for Ms. Haruna to enter the classroom. She didn’t have long to wait for Ms. Haruna to enter the room. Her teacher walked into the room, commanding attention with her appearance. Long auburn wavy hair ended at the small of her back, lying softly against her soft gray wool blazer. Her white blouse under the blazer had small pink and purple flowers at the collar, and the gray skirt reached her knees. Straight, white teeth showed when she flashed a smile at the classroom, waiting patiently for everyone to return to their seats. Once everyone was seated, Usagi kept her gaze averted from everyone in class, not wishing to see their looks of disdain because she was prepared to hand in her term paper several days early. Ms. Haruna began her lecture for the day, writing several notes on the chalkboard. As she spoke, Usagi leaned her chin on her hand and listened attentively, occasionally hearing people whisper around her, and wondered what they were talking about.* It’s so lonely sometimes…why doesn’t anyone wish to speak to me? I just sit here in class and take notes, and try not to cry…* With a quiet sigh, she began to pay attention in class, the morning passing quickly. Lunch break was announced with a discreet bell, and Ms. Haruna excused her students. Usagi took this moment to talk to her and hand in her paper early. “Haruna-sensei, I have finished my term paper, and would like to hand it in early, if its not an inconvenience.” Usagi stated softly, her husky voice sounding almost breathless. “Oh! Usagi-chan, you are finished already? Well, I’d be more than happy to take it off your hands. Here… let me find my folder.” She said as she searched through her somewhat cluttered desk to find a blue folder with the words TERM PAPERS written in black marker with her own bold script. “Thank you Usagi-chan! Maybe your example will prompt other students to hand theirs in early as well. Makes it easier to grade, only getting a few at a time!” She laughed, and it sounded musical to Usagi, who herself hadn’t laughed in what seemed like… forever. Usagi smiled and bowed before leaving to try to eat some food for lunch before classes began once again. She headed immediately toward the usual secluded spot that she liked to sit at. It was a under a large tree, that had to have been on the school grounds since it had been built. The grass seemed greener there, its lushness a perfect spot for her to sit and read her English translations. She never looked up once to admire the clear azure sky, or looked around to see the blooming flowers. However, once a shadow passes in front of her, she looked up with a sigh, expecting it to be one of her classmates going out of their way to ridicule her. She was unprepared for what she did see. Looking up at her would be perpetrator, she saw a pair of eyes surrounded by long full lashes, and the eyes were so perfectly blue it almost hurt to look at them. As she continued her appraisal, she saw hair a raven black, and he flashed a smile at her. “Uh… hi. My name is Chiba Mamoru, and I noticed that you were sitting out here and was curious as to what you are reading.” Her eyes widened in surprise…* Is this a cruel joke?! What is going on here? I… I don’t understand. Why is the talking to me? Who is making him do this??* “Hi! I’m Tsukino Usagi. I’m just reading the assigned chapters for History. I’m surprised anyone saw me out here! Usually no one comes over here.” She smiled sweetly, her soft rose lips parting in a sincere smile. “Oh! I’m sorry! Did I disturb you? I’ll leave.” Mamoru said in a rush, blushing a little, and already turning to leave. “No! Wait! That’s not what I meant. I just meant that people just don’t come over here. I’d enjoy some company. Please have a seat.” She swept her arm out pointing to the general area. Mamoru looked around for someplace to sit, uncertain of how close or far away he should sit. He finally decided on a tree stump not six feet away from her. As he leaned in he smelled a light scent of roses that seemed to surround her. * Who is this girl, and why is she sitting alone out here?* "Without you everything just falls apart." This Fan Fic is by Seraphina she has given me permission to put her fan fics on my page ^_^ Seraphina's AIM and ICQ: AIM: Zelslady ICQ: 45353688
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