Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit card.

Q: Why is an elephant big, grey, and wrinkly?
A: Because, if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Aspirin.

Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because it fell asleep.

Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was glued to the first one.

Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was a copy cat.

Q: Why did the fourth elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It thought this was all a game.

Q: And why did the tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant.

Q: What does an elephant and a blueberry have in common?
A: They're both blue, except for the elephant.

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw 1,000 elephants coming over the hill?
A: Look, there's 1,000 elephants coming over the hill.

Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun, of course.

Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue,
then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

Q: How do you shoot a green elephant?
A: Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns
blue, then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.

Q: How do you shoot a pink elephant?
A: First you bake a cake, and put 3 raisins on top, then you take it out in the jungle where the pink elephant will find it, and you wait. Eventually the elephant comes along, finds the cake, eats the raisins and throws the cake away. Then you go home and bake another cake and put 2 raisins on top, take it out in the jungle where the elephant will find it. The elephant comes along, finds the cake, eats the 2 raisins and throws the cake away. You go home and bake another cake and put only one raisin on it. Then you trek back into the jungle and put the cake where the pink elephant will find it. The elephant comes along eats the raisin, and throws that cake away. Now you go home and bake another cake, but (here's the sneaky part) you don't put any raisins on it. You take it out into the jungle where the elephant will find it and lie in wait. The pink elephant comes along and finds the cake, he gets SO mad that there aren't any raisins on it, he turns red, then you jump on him, strangle him until he turns blue......and you shoot him with a BLUE ELEPHANT GUN!!!

Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: Aw, come one, have you ever seen a yellow elephant !?!

Q: Why do elephants have red eyes?
A: So they can hide themselves better in cherry trees.

Q: Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?
A: No? See how well the trick with the red eyes works?

Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A: Time to get a new fence.

Q: Where does an 8 ton elephant sit?
A: Any damn place where he pleases!

Q: Why is an elephant covered in wrinkles?
A: Ever try to iron one?