Lesson Number One
****************
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. 
A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, 
"Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: " Sure, why not." So, the rabbit
sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. 
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit
and ate it.

Management Lesson
To be sitting and doing nothing, 
you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Number Two
****************
A turkey was chatting with a bull. 
" I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," 
sighed the turkey, 
" but I haven't got the energy.
" Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" 
replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients." 
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and
found that it actually gave him enough strength to
reach the first branch of the tree. 

The next day, after eating some more
dung, he reached the
second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he
was proudly perched at
the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted
by a farmer, who shot
the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson
Bullshit might get you to the
top, but it won't keep
you there.

Lesson Number Three
*******************
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. 
The brain said, " I should be Boss because I control the
whole body's responses and functions." 
The feet said, " We should be Boss as we carry the brain
about and get him to where he wants to go." 
The hands said, "We should be the
Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money. 
And so it went on
and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until
finally the asshole spoke up. 
All the parts laughed at the idea of the
asshole being the Boss.
So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up
and refused to work.
Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the
hands clenched, the feet
twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and
the brain fevered.
Eventually they all decided that the asshole should
be the Boss, so the
motion was passed. All the other parts did all the
work while the Boss just
sat and passed out the shit!

Management Lesson
You don't need brains to be a
Boss - any asshole will do.

Lesson Number Four
******************
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It
was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there,
a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. 
As the frozen bird lay there in
the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. 
The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and
happy, and soon began to sing for joy. 
A passing cat heard the bird
singing and came to
investigate. Following the sound, the cat
discovered the bird under the
pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

Management Lessons
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!