Signs you've had too much of the '90s/'00

1. You try to enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards
in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your
family of 3.

4. You e-mail your buddy who works at the desk next
to you.

5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from
South America, but you haven't spoken to your next
door neighbor yet this year.

6. You buy a computer and
a week later it is out of date.

7. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends
is that they do not have e-mail addresses.

8. You consider the U.S. Mail painfully slow and/or
call it "snail mail".

9. Your idea of being organized is multiple colored
post-it notes.

10. You hear most of your jokes via email
instead of in person.

11. When you go home after a long day at work you still
answer the phone in a business manner.

12. When you make phone calls from home, you
accidentally insert a "9" to get an outside line.

13. You've sat at the same desk for four years and
worked for three different companies.

14. Your company's welcome sign is attached with Velcro.

15. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.

16. You really get excited about a 1.7% pay rise.

17. You learn about your redundancy
on the 11 o'clock news.

18. Your biggest loss from a system crash was when you
lost all of your best jokes.

19. Your supervisor doesn't have the ability
to do your job.

20. Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more
likely to get long-service awards.

21. Board members salaries are higher than all the
Third World countries annual budgets combined.

22. It's dark when you drive to and from work,
even in the summer.

23. You know exactly how many days you've got left
until you retire.

24. Interviewees, despite not having the relevant
knowledge or experience, terminate the interview
when told of the starting salary.

25. You see a good looking, smart person and you know
it must be a visitor.

26. Free food left over from meetings
is your staple diet.

27. Your supervisor gets a brand-new state-of-the-art
laptop with all the latest features, while you have
time to go for lunch while yours boots up.

28. Being sick is defined as you can't walk
or you're in hospital.

29. You're already late on the assignment you just got.

30. There's no money in the budget for the five
permanent staff your department is short of, but
they can afford four full-time management
consultants advising your boss's boss on strategy.

31. Vacation time is something you roll over
to next year.

32. Every week another brown collection envelope comes
around because someone you DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WORKED
THERE is leaving.

33. Your relatives and family describe your job as
"works with computers".

34. The only reason you recognize your kids is because
their pictures are on your desk.

35. You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.


AND THE CLINCHERS ARE:

36. You read this entire list,
and kept nodding and smiling.

37. As you read this list, you think about forwarding
it to your "friends you send jokes to" e-mail group.

38. It crosses your mind that your jokes group may have
seen this list already, but you don't have time to
do the research, so you forward it anyway.