What couch manufactures dont like to tell the public is that each couch comes with a guy who may or may not come to sleep on it. You may own several couches and if you do then dont be surprised if you wake up to find someone there sleeping on it. You may or may not know him. It may be after a really fuckin great party. Partys, BitcheZ, Booze, and GOOD DRUGS attract these guys. So if you dont have any of the necessary ingredients then chances are you wont find one on your couch.
BUT if you do...
LOOK OUT!!! You cant look a The Guy on your couch as a free loader. Or a serious drain on your drug supply. The guy is more of a Djini. They are resourceful and good to have around, for example you can say (politely of course) hey guy, here is [insert a large sum of money here] we need to score some [insert illicit drug name here], and with in a few hours he may or may not come back. But if he does come back, he will have brough back some of tha ILL'est shit you ever done had! Through this guy your greatest wishes and aspirations can be attained, he will be there to guide you on your quest through this silly thing we call life. but also remember his advice is often confusing and difficult to discern, so after reciving any of it I recomend taking at least 6 hits of acid and standing on your head for a few hours(DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES JUMP OUT A WINDOW AND START CHASING AFTER THE SUNRISE, TRUST ME... now go drop 6tabs and stand on your head).
I AM THE GUY. Not the first, not the last... just The Guy. I have spent years studying under former 'The Guy on the CouchZ". But I'm it. The top of the arm rest. I have far surpassed all other "Guys in Training". and now I'm here to spread couch goodness to the rest of you. Virtually, digitally, through the use of the internet, you can imaging sitting on my couch.
P.S. anyone throwing any big parties that meet the selection criteria, well Expect to see me soon..
Fear the Couch and Respect the Couch, for one day a Guy on it may save your life.