Ask Dr. Truth
by Hall Monitor staff psychologist Sherrie Truth

Dear Dr. Truth: Today I went to the Gap store at the mall, and while I was shopping I noticed that all the clerks in the store were wearing headsets with microphones. Why is this? Who are they talking to? Who is talking to them? This really disturbed me, to the point that I ended up having to leave the store.--Mall Mike

Dear Mike: I have no idea why they were wearing headsets. Granted, it sounds pretty stupid to me, but your reaction was completely unwarranted. It sounds to me like you're more than a bit paranoid. Why in the world would you care what's being said over the headsets unless deep down you believe they're talking about you? Are you afraid they're telling each other what really goes on when you're locked in the bathroom with the tap running? Or maybe that they're laughing at you because they've spied the ladies panties, evening gown and heels you keep locked up in a trunk and only bring out when you 're alone and want to feel "frilly"? It sounds to me like you may have to clean a few of those skeletons from your closet before you'll be able to shop in peace again.


Dear Dr. Truth: For a couple of months now I've been frequenting a frozen yogurt stand near my home almost daily. I always get the same thing, chocolate and vanilla swirl in a waffle cone. For the first month and a half or so the girl who served me and I both maintained a professional, impersonal distance. We were cordial, but our interaction never progressed beyond the basic transaction of ordering and serving the yogurt. Then two weeks ago she acknowledged that I had indeed been there many times, saying, "Wow, this must be your favorite dessert, you always get this." This has totally thrown me for a loop, and now I feel very uncomfortable going there. I feel like she's monitoring me. In the last two weeks I have only gone there if she hasn't been working. Why did she have to ruin everything?--Frozen in my Tracks

Dear Frozen: You seem to be suffering from two problems: a fear of intimacy combined with an eating disorder. This young woman has ruined your solitary existence by ending the charade of impersonality that suited you. Well, I doubt a few words of my wisdom here will cure you, so let me suggest that you start buying your yogurt at the store from now on. If you shop where I do, the cashier will be too self absorbed to bother looking at you, much less saying anything to you. Then you can take you bounty home and gorge undisturbed. In time, if your lucky, the girl at the yogurt stand will forget who you are, or quit, or die, and you can safely return without having to worry about being treated like a human being, at least for a while!

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