Ask Dr. Truth

Ask Dr. Truth

by Hall Monitor staff psychologist Sherrie Truth

Dear Dr. Truth: I am concerned about a close friend. Though from all appearances he's a normal fellow, I fear...no, I know he's a closet alcoholic. Most times when I have visited or called lately, he has been totally sloshed. It's not unusual for him to polish off a twelve pack in an evening. I have questioned his behavior, and all he can muster up in response is that "life's a party" and that I need to chill out. He seems happy, but I really care about him and can't help but worry, and I wonder what I should do. Is an intervention the answer? -- Buddy in Cincy

Dear Buddy: You must be pretty proud of yourself, Superman. Your self-righteous cry is coming through loud and clear: "I'm gonna save the world, starting with my poor drunk friend!" Well, while you were so busy worrying about your friend, did you ever stop to consider the hard-working distillery worker who has a spouse and three kids to support? Or the welfare orphans supported by state liquor taxes? Or the convenience store worker who's just scraping by selling beer and Big Bites so he can keep from having to go back to the Third World hell hole he came from? I didn't think so, but guess what "Buddy"? They'd all be out of business if it weren't for your friend and people like him. Your friend's "life's a party" mentality seems to be serving him pretty well, and you just might be better off following his lead instead of being so damn judgmental. He's right. It is time for you to chill out! Start living your own life instead of everyone else's!


Dear Dr. Truth: Today while I was sitting at my desk at work, I kept wondering what was keeping me from walking over to my co-worker and giving her a hard, big-ass smack on the head. I have nothing at all against this woman, and certainly no reason to smack her, but all I could think about was smacking her on the back of the head, and what the consequences would be, how it would doubtless ruin my career at this company and most future career prospects. Why did I want to smack her, Doctor?--Ms.-ter in Detroit

Dear Ms.: Ever heard of the words "misogynist a**hole"? Well, okay, that was my first thought, but to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure if that phrase applies here. Your desire to clobber your coworker on the head seems to stem from a deep-rooted desire to be dominated by others. Let's face it: You smack your coworker on the head and she could possibly have you disciplined, fired, or even send you to jail. Who's holding the power now? Clearly she is! You don't mention whether you are a man or a woman, but let me guess: If you're a woman you're a lipstick lesbian in need of a hard bull dyke leather top, and if you're a man, you're in need of a Nazi dominatrix who comes with her own strap-on. In either case I suggest you take the time to explore your fantasies in the bedroom of Your House, rather than subliminally releasing them in the workplace and running the risk of landing in the Big House.

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Questions for Dr. Sheryl Truth can be sent directly to the Hall Monitor .

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