Ask Dr. Truth

by Hall Monitor staff psychologist Sherrie Truth

Dear Dr. Truth: You're a doctor, so perhaps you can help answer this question. Today while at my HMO, I was waiting to pick up a prescription and I noticed, right there in the waiting area on the floor, a locked metal box with the words "This box contains blood and tissue only - no money or drugs." What in the world was this box doing there in the waiting room? --Grossed out in Grand Rapids

Dear Gross: Medical waste bins like the one you describe are common in hospitals and clinics. They are usually located near the entrance of the building so the people who dispose of the waste have easy access to it. What concerns me isn't the box itself but the words written on it. In my opinion, the wording is backwords. I would put just the opposite: "This box does contain money and drugs." That way, any two-bit junkie who steals it would receive the ultimate justice upon opening his new-found stash: potentially fatal blood-born diseases which would put their thieving days to an end once and for all!

Dear Dr. Truth: The other day I was watching the news, and they had a report on WWII veterans and their widows. At one point they showed this very old woman laying a wreath at a monument, and my first thought  as she bent over was, "Man, what a nice ass." This woman was at least in her mid seventies. The whole rest of the day I kept thinking about her butt and how good it looked. What's wrong with me? I don't normally think this way. --Jonathan in Syracuse

Dear Jon: Well, different strokes for different folks, as they say, and in this fantasy of yours, a stroke is a very real possibility. Since you seem troubled, try to determine what might lead you to lust after Granny Goodglutes. Think back, way back to your childhood and try to spot anything which might have produced this latent lust. Do you recall any rejected attempts to breast feed with your grandmother? Did the elderly lunch lady at school always give you extra helpings? Did your first sexual experience involve rubbing up against a pile of support hose on the floor? Keep digging, and I'm sure once you discover what triggered your desire and are able to confront it head on, you'll be back watching the saucy babes of Baywatch instead of desperately trying to catch the latest rerun of Murder She Wrote.

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