Ask Dr. Truth
by Hall Monitor staff psychologist Sherrie Truth
Dear Dr. Truth: I have always enjoyed entertaining friends and neighbors with cocktails and dinner, but lately I have been mortified by my husband's boorish behaviour whenever guests come over. He seems to take special pleasure in a particular parlour trick. After our guests have arrived, he takes the smoke detector out of its brackets and demonstrates his ability to set it off by passing gas into it. This usually elicits sheepish, embarassed laughter from our friends as I slink into the kitchen wishing I was dead. What's wrong with him? -- Beverly
Dear Bev: I don't think the problem here is with your husband, it's with you. Are you telling me that after all these years together this is new behavior for your husband? I doubt it. A Dapper Dan doesn't turn into a Classless Cleatus overnight, and I suspect he's been acting this way since before you got hitched. You should have taken this into consideration before saying "I do". And can you honestly tell me that you don't find the idea of hubby setting off the smoke detector with his farts the least bit amusing? An act like that would certainly lighten the mood at some of the snooty dinner parties I go to. I have a feeling your friends don't mind, or else they wouldn't come over in the first place. Lighten up!
Dear Dr. Truth: My wife and I have been having a very difficult time getting our eight year old son to sleep soundly through the night. Almost every night shortly after we put him to bed, he starts screaming and yelling until we go to his room. He then tells us that he's seen a monster crawl into his closet or under his bed and asks to sleep in our room. If we don't let him, he will continue to scream and cry out at various times throughout the night. We have tried to prove there are no monsters by opening the closet and making him look under the bed to see there's nothing there, but it never works. None of us has gotten much sleep these past few months and I'm at my wit's end. I don't think it's a good idea to have a child his age sleep with his parents every night, but it's the only way we can get any rest any more. Please help us! -- "J.T."
Dear J.T.: It is quite normal for children your son's age to believe in scary monsters and other invisible threats and to seek the refuge of his parents' bedroom. He's going through a very delicate period in his life in which he's slowly learning to be more independent, and it's only natural that he feels a little intimidated. Don't worry, it will end eventually as he gets older. Of course, knowing that doesn't help the current situation, so here are a few tips to speed up the process. First, start letting your child know about all the very real dangers that await him outside his bedroom. Teach him about things like the Ebola virus, serial killers, man-eating animals, people who push other people onto subway tracks...you get the idea. If you go about it correctly, it's only a matter of time before the outside world will seem much scarier than whatever may be hiding in his closet, and his bed will seem like a welcome refuge from life's many terrors. If this fails to solve the problem, I suggest letting him continue to sleep with you and your wife, with one condition: pretend he isn't there. This means going about your business as always, including (and especially) making love. Often the sight of one's parents fornicating is so horrifying to a child that he or she will do anything to avoid seeing it again. With any luck, this will ensure your son never goes anywhere near your bedroom again!
Questions for Dr. Sheryl Truth can be sent directly to the Hall Monitor .