The Howling Pig

Advocating for the Students

The student government managed to stir up some controversy this past week by failing to support a resolution calling for a vote of the students on the consolidation of the cultural centers. At the time, the justification for the resolution’s failure was the prohibitive cost of adding a ballot issue to the student election. Typing three lines onto an online form is no doubt a budget breaker. I was impressed then that the council finally managed to do something controversial by doing actual legit student government stuff instead of members getting caught drinking and driving, holding illegal closed-door meetings, or indulging in some sweet cronyism.

In retrospect, more people should’ve been reading Jory Taylor’s lips as he mumbled under his breath “it doesn’t matter, they [the cultural centers] aren’t going to be here anyway.” In that light, it is too expensive to have a completely irrelevant question on the ballot. While it isn’t clear how much council members Taylor, Brinkley, Villalon, Porter, and Moland knew about the proposed elimination of the cultural centers, it seems that they had some clue. The polite thing would’ve been for them to come clean at the time, and give opponents of the proposal a chance to organize. The right thing to do as representatives of the students would’ve been for President Gustafson and Trustee Taylor to be advocating on behalf of the thousands who will be left not only without the support of the centers, but left hanging in their academic programs through the reorganization of the colleges. It’s really too much for this council to act as representatives instead of conduits for bogus administrative policy. Good thing that there’s a chance to vote in some competent people next month who might be able to control some of this damage.

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Crystal Ball

A look at the draft submitted from the Charting the Future process shows a surprisingly long-term vision for the university. With a nod to some evolutionary theorists who predict an eventual end to definite racial characteristics as genetic mixing occurs, the draft prepares for that future day when through natural biological and demographic processes, the students of UNC will all be a rather ambiguous dark beige in color and all hail from the suburbs (face it, by then everywhere will be suburbia). Taking the lead in this, the proposed draft eliminates the cultural centers that currently serve those of the soon to be obsolete racial and cultural backgrounds. Due to budget constraints, the eventual replacement institution responsible for the cultural centers’ mission has not yet been planned, but one can imagine such vibrant panel discussions in the future as “Being Taupe in a Beige World, a Crisis of Identity” funded by an endowment from The Gap.

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Greatness

I counted. The first draft of the Charting the Future proposal refers to either investing for or achieving greatness thirteen times. What the hell does that mean? Looking at the organizational chart, the first impression is that greatness involves dismantling the idea of a well-rounded liberal arts education since the College of Arts and Sciences will be torn apart and the pieces shoved into convenient pigeon holes created in a revamped college system. Certainly there might be some advantages to having the English, Theater and Journalism departments lumped in the same College. They certainly share programmatic goals and offer the same sorts of things to the University. Philosophy finally has a chance to flourish in the heady intellectual environment of the business school.

Beyond that, something really smells. Though the draft makes sure to indicate that the process doesn’t prioritize areas of the University, some overall trends are obvious.

Diversity can head to the back of the bus, as multicultural programs are eliminated, or relegated to organizational backwaters. Potential money makers get organizational preference. Business, education, and the natural sciences are the clear winners since they are best at hauling in the outside cash. The soft sciences and the humanities are the obvious losers as those departments get thrown together in hodge podges like “public policy” and “cultural studies.” With the revised gen ed policies to back up these priorities so that the social and multicultural requirements are eliminated, it seems we can look forward to greatness as the best damned vocational school in the state.

A New Face

Due to the untimely demise of our former editor, Junius Puke, we at the Howling Pig have engaged in an exhaustive search for an appropriate new editor. It took more than two weeks, but we found our ideal candidate. A member of fringe cult, she only identifies herself as “Rainbow Brite.” We found Rainbow under the strangest circumstances. She was shuttling from wedding to wedding one weekend, and we spotted her as she interrupted a ceremony shouting Tourettes-like profanities and criticisms. Granted, Ms. Brite lacks the professional credentials of Puke, but we immediately saw the value in her outspoken attitude, her fashion sense, and most of all her unique ability to intrude into people’s most personal moments with no remorse. During the interview, we were intrigued by the spicy musk clinging to her outfit, and impressed by her grave demeanor. We offered her the position on the spot and she accepted, for better or worse, til death do us part. Look for Rainbow Brite’s insightful editorials in future issues of The Howling Pig.