| "Talk to the Hand" with Mary Mitsubishi |
| THE MARY MITSUBISHI SHOW (Audience applauding) Mary: Hello, and welcome to the Mary Mitsubishi Show. Today, our guest is Ayeka, who's here to complain about one of her housemates. (More cheering) Mary: Come on out, Ayeka. (Ayeka walks out and is met with applause) Ayeka: Hello, Mary. Mary: Hello, Ayeka. What do you want to say about Ryoko, your housemate? Ayeka: I can't stand her. She's lazy and shows no modesty. Mary: How so? Ayeka: She always dresses like a slut, can't sit up straight, eats like a pig, never helps with chores, and is always throwing herself at Tenchi. Mary: One question. Who's Tenchi? Ayeka: He's the guy that we live with. (Surprised gasps from the audience) Mary: Let's bring out Ryoko! (Ryoko comes out) Ryoko: Ayeka, you little wuss! Ayeka: Shut up, Ryoko. Audience: Oooo... Mary: One thing I don't understand, Ayeka. Why does it bother you that Ryoko throws herself at Tenchi? Ayeka: Because Tenchi and *I* are meant to be together, that's why! Ryoko: In your dreams! Tenchi is *mine*! Audience: Ooooooo... Mary: I believe this Tenchi is the source of all your other irritations with each other. Has he expressed definite interest in either of you? Ryoko: Honestly, not really. I think he's afraid to choose for fear of the other's reaction. Mary: So you both want him, but he's afraid to choose between you? Ryoko: For now, but he'll definitely see in time that *I'm* the *obvious* choice. Ayeka: Not in a million years! Lord Tenchi could never love you! He's blinded by *my* radiant beauty! Ryoko: You're just a spoiled, sissy little princess! Ayeka: Well *you're* just a piece of space trash who will never amount to anything! Ayeka & Ryoko: Grrrr... (Ayeka & Ryoko rush at each other) Audience: Ma-ry! Ma-ry! Ma-ry! (Two beefy security guards run up on stage and pull Ayeka and Ryoko away from each other) Mary: I think we need to bring out Tenchi, the man behind this mess! (Cheering and stomping) Mary: Come on out, Tenchi! (Door opens and Washu shoves Tenchi out. He takes a few faltering steps and falls on his face. Audience bursts out laughing.) Mary (laughing): I think everyone was expecting this Tenchi fellow to be a lot...a lot smoother. Ryoko: How dare you laugh at my Tenchi?! Ayeka: You're going to pay for that comment! Mary: Wait! Be reasonable! (Black and white static. Don't guess we'll ever get to see how that one *really* ended.) A side note from John, the webmunster: "Getting fan-submitted Tenchi TV channels makes my job a lot easier. ^_^ Thanks once again to ." |