Breakin' Nuwz

...Old News,...Today,.... in the same format :

Dateline : 25/06/2003
insert following headline here

Asked by the LBN to explain the applicability of a classic and modern dance to the moden Theatre of War Nelson says ;

"An unexpected Pas De Bras could suprise the enemy into total insensibility while a supporting squad advances. Or, my equally polished Pas De Deux could shock the enemy with it's grace and poise while my comrades retreated under cover of mortars." The bewildered Offaly admits that modern battlefield conditions will mean his making concessions in style. "There is a small danger that enemy forces will deploy trained dancers of their own - countering with a forcefull Fouette Turn or Pirouette" . Department of Defense analysts describe the risk as 'low'.

Despite several point blank refusals by the army to consider his application for a cadetship in gunnery, riflery or even polishery, Nelson believes that his persitance in re-applying will pay off. He quotes the example of 'Leroy, from Fame'. "Look at Leroy from Fame", he explains - refused entry to the army for years until he took a degree from New Yorks Academy of Arts!!". We point out that the character did not, in fact, apply for the army. "Poof bastard", opines Nelson.

Further evidence of the growing role played by the performing arts in geo-pollitics, following as it does the deployment of 'Riverdance' to Afghanistan and Twink's 'peace enforcement' role in Boznia-Herzegovina.