Breakin' Nuwz

Following in the sodden footsteps of Limerick, Kerry and Cavan, a County Louth entrepeneur is taking advantage of Co Council funding to launch a new marque of locally-branded mineral water. The LBN interviewed Onny McArdle at his office in Chicken Hut, Greenore. Our reporter challenged McArdle to defend his pressing ahead with a premium-branded food product in the wake of 2000's FMD outbreak in the Cooley Peninsula :

"There's no issues with the quality of drinking water in the area, look here's the proof"; . So saying McArdle twists the tap on his desk and with a low rasping fart sound a thick stream of grey goo puddles at the bottom of his glass. "See? ", he continues - "lovely".

Thrashing round the floor in an epoxy of staggering coughs McArdle groans through his phlegm "pure as the driven snow - Aaaarrrgh - pour us another! - aaarrrggsuurgh".

Louth Co. Co. plan to tap into the foreign bottled water market with 'Water of Louth' - a 'refreshing and invigorating sup'. Water of Louth will be available in one, one and a half and two litre bags.