This morning the the suriving members of Mayo's last extant RIC barracks
witnessed the end of a four-day phenomenon at Castlebars FAS work-shirker
depot. Investigators announced at 12 noon that locals had fallen prey to
an elaborate hoax. The talking Inkjet printer which had amazed locals by
claiming to be the incarnation of St. Emeldarina, and to have returned
from the afterlife to avenge a small part of Mayo on other small parts
of Mayo, transpires to be the work of a disruntled former employee, a three-tour
veteran of Mosney.
The elaborate hoax consisted of hiding behind a potted plant adjacent to the printer and talking in what local clerics described as "a heavenly and printer-like voice". Stunned workers turned up to work on Monday to hear the 8ppm low-resolution peripheral inciting them to take up arms and then wield them. Suspicions were aroused when St. Emeldarina began demanding sacrifice, in the form of Happy Meals. Local leaders speculate that if the hoaxter had any bathroom facilities near the printer , and had he not to seek relief on the plant , the ruse could have continued for weeks, or even years with office staff none the wiser. Question first arose amongst worshippers when St. Emelderina, in her aspect as Office Equipment, caused nearby greenery to wilt and assume a pallid yellowie colour. As the plant failed St. Emelderina exhorted the faithfull to "provideth onion rings, yea unto the auxiliary tray and to ignore the pale man over there".
A relieved mayor described the investigators, in lanugage like English, as "fine shticks of men" and finished his drinks.
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