Breakin' Nuwz

City Engineers have unveiled the real potential of the Dublin Spire, in a time of growing global uncertainty. In partnership with the Department of Defense and Waiting to See What Happens, Dublin Corporation are planning to use the Spire as the basis of a new strategic defense system. Inspired by Mike Hodges 1980 box-office hit 'Flash Gordon' Ireland top legal killers are actively considering using the Spire as a rocket, which could be fired at hostile targets, making a hole in them.

Commmandant Neill Burke-Walsh of the 1st Connaught Hiders first thought of the idea while watching 'Reach for the Skies' the moving story of one mans determination to fight on against overwhelming odds and personal tragedy. Burke Walsh explains ; "I'm not an expert on military aviation but I remember being deeply impressed with Douglas Badger's grit in continuing to fight after his plane's legs fell off". He was a great man, like George Best, no, hang on he's f***ed".

In the event of an outbreak of hostilities Dublin Corporation have commited to replacing the Spire with an alternative monument of equal aesthetic value and military potential. To meet the requirement the FCA are reported to be in the process of massively upgrading their armoured car.

The Dublin Spire was erected earlier this year in the Capital's O'Connel street, after the Lord Mayor office overcame it's concerns about "bursting the sky".