Foreign Travel - Justification

New expense restricitons mean that travelling to the UK requires you to explain the alternative modes of travel you have considered. LBN has prepared this 'cut out and keep' preamble to help to help get your travel justification off to a flying start! :

"Dear manager (UK)

"Ireland" is a small, commodious island to be found approimately 120 miles west of Wales. Wales is a small, no less commodious, country immediately to the left of England.

Traditionally, travel from "Ireland" to the UK
means an air or sea journey of not less than forty minutes, depending on the prevailing winds and tides. I have ruled out sea travel to the UK from "Ireland" as I've already travelled in my private capacity (as an avid Great Britain fan) to both
Scotland and Wales. Nor have I any wish to visit Liverpool. Many of my countrymen travelled there in the mid to late nineteenth century and it's
my understanding from cultural learning that there is nothing there of any interest. I have no interest in canals and no previous experience with
digging shovel tools.

In addition to air travel I have considered and rejected a number of alternative modes of transport. I detail them as;

a) Swimming

I have considered swimming the approximately 100 miles from Ireland to Great Britain and have rejected the idea as meaning my almost certain
death. I am not convinced that my death at sea in in the best interests of the team. Even in these times of austerity.

b) Hovercraft

I have approached Irish Ferries and P&O with a view to booking passage per Hovercraft. Apparently neither of these carriers have the vision to establish a hover service at an affordable price between our islands. The former carrier has estimated the price of establishing a regular
service between our locations at €1.5 illion/annum. I have discussed this with our single remaining financial professional and this would apparently put my return ticket price at € 1.50004 million, to allow the carrier a margin. This does not include a per diem.

I have effectively ruled this mode of transport out.

c) Jet Powered Rocket Skates

.....present possibly the most attractive alternative to air travel. With estimated travel time at ten minutes from Dublin, "Ireland" to Southbank,
Great Britain they appeared to present an ideal solution. unforunately Jet Powered Rocket Skates have not been invented. I have wired a postal
order to five American dollars' value to the Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL) at NASA in an effort to hasten their development.

I attatch a claim for five dollars American.

d) Wagon Train.

I have ruled out covered wagons as being neither sea nor air worthy.

e) Hiding in customer luggage.

I have considered at length securing air transport by working my way into a customer's confidence and then hiding in their luggage at the last
moment before check-in.

Leaving aside the practical difficulties of finding a customer bound for my destination at the appropriate moment and with luggage of sufficient magnitude that I could hide within it, I think this could have a negative impact on Customer Sat. should I be discovered at an importunate moment.

I make no reference to the personal danger to myself of arrest or death by exposure.

In summary I have concluded that conventional air travel presents the only pragmatic option for my journey to Great Britain. Given the expense
restrictions under which we all labour I have asked my mother to wire me a sum equal to Ryan Air's lowest fair option.

The flight ought to leave for Minsk as soon as the propeller is refitted. Assuming that it leaves within the week I expect to see you in the Autumn.
Yours,

INSERT NAME HERE

The OutraNet