...Old News,...Today,.... in the same format :
Dateline : 15/05/2003
Metropolitan Back(Bacon) Lash
"Gerrou da tauwen" continued....
On this basis the LBN recommends that the government immediately introduce
stringent measures to improve the quality of life of those affected by
the rising number of bog-warrior emigres:
a) the introduction of 'Dubliner-only' sections in Cinema's, restaraunts
and bars. Mulchies will be accomodated at a large trough at the Red Cow
Roundabout, where they feel happiest.
b) Introduction of 'Dubliner-only' Car parking spaces in Dublin City.
For their convenience muck-savages will have large, damp fields installed
to surround their places of work, upon which they can park their enormous
03' Mercedes, far from the Revenue Commisioners.
c) To improve their access to the Dublin metropolitan area cluchies will
be collected every morning from pens at Liffey Valley and bussed to Galway.
LBN would like to invite applications for the position of country living
correspondant. Applicants should enclose Curriculae Vitae in a stamped
self-addressed empty packet of Major signed with their mark, or that of
a literate neighbour. Applications in person from provincial yokels will
not be entertained.
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