While I'm pleased that I can be so entertaining to the aforementioned people, I have to remark that I am mildly disturbed that the parts of these dreams they find most amusing are the parts that cause me, the aforementioned dreamer, the most discomfort. What this says about the sort of people they are I do not know.
Disclaimer: THESE ARE DREAMS. They are not hallucinations, drug-induced visions, revelations (divine or otherwise), or attempts by an alien being to possess my mind and/or body. They did not happen. They are not real. They are the product of my own fevered brain in the throes of REM sleep. And no, I do not "protesteth too much!"
I should point out that in my dream, this was not the famous opera The Barber of Seville. Instead it was a dramatic rendition of the mathematical paradox "The Barber of Seville," which goes as follows: "The barber of Seville cuts the hair of every man in Seville who does not cut his own hair. Who cuts the barber's hair?"
The play resolved this particular paradox by declaring that the Barber of Seville was in fact not a man at all, but a werehorse, so that anyone could cut the Barber's hair (or mane) without causing a contradiction.
For some reason two actors were required to play the barber, one for his human form and another for his horse form, and I auditioned for the horse form. They wouldn't give me a script even though I was supposed to be singing a song from the play, so I sang Ernie's Rubber Duckie song instead and for no apparent reason I was suddenly wearing skis that allowed me to tap-dance.
I found out later that I got the part, but then an alien species made contact with Earth and said they were going to destroy the world because they thought my performance was so bad. That part went on for a really really long time, and I woke up.
Then Sunshine starts barking. Megan says, "Oh, there's somebody at the door!" So she runs to the door and opens it, and Dr. Colson rides in on a horse.
Nobody seems to think this is at all out of the ordinary, even though a lioness is firmly attached to the horse's hindquarters. The horse itself is brown and perfectly calm despite its being eaten by a predator that nearly outmasses it. Not that the lioness is in any particular hurry; she's just sitting there with her fangs in the horse's haunches, looking around mildly.
These observations take place within a second or two, then Dr. Colson says, "Oh, hi, everyone, it's good to see you again. If you don't mind, could you give me a hand here? There seems to be a lion attached to my horse."
Then four more lions--two big ones and two half-grown cubs--follow the horse and the lioness through the door and start growling at us. Trip doesn't take too kindly to this and runs upstairs.
Nobody notices, but suddenly we are all in the African desert, couch, horse, and all. Sunshine decides that the lions look fun, and runs over to them to try to play with them. (Big furry golden ball!) We all yell, "Sunshine! No!" But it's too late; one of the big lions swipes a paw at Sunshine and sends her flying through the air over our heads as we all scream, "Noo!!!!!" (It would have been funny if we had said "Very Nooo!!!!", but we didn't because my subconscious isn't very creative.)
Then as the lions start to stalk us, Dr. Colson (still on the horse with the lioness) says in his usual placable way, "Don't worry about the horse, you all seem to have more pressing problems." Then I woke up.
One day I had driven onto campus, and at the end of the day I got in my lovely car and started driving home. I was halfway through the Canyon when suddenly I was surrounded by Guymelefs who were shouting at me to surrender.
I thought, "What the heck, I'm just driving along in my car, what would a bunch of Guymelefs want with me in my car?" But then I looked down and I was actually controlling Escaflowne, and Prince Van was pounding on my faceplate and screaming that I was going to get us both killed.
Then I thought back and remembered that Escaflowne had been parked right next to my car, and I had been paying so little attention to what I was doing that I accidentally got into Escaflowne instead of my own car.
Some resolution there would have been nice, but instead I was suddenly in a new place and a new time. I was Gordo Malfoy (Draco's little brother), and everyone kept treating me like I was enormously fat even though I was quite slender.
Buying robes was embarrassing, since the first one I tried fit perfectly, but everyone else (Lucius and the shopkeeper) kept saying the robes were too small, and eventually I had to wear a Wizard's Tent for a robe, which made me look like a giant black galleon sail.
Things were fuzzy for a while, but I was put into Slytherin House, where everyone got my name (Gordo) right but for some reason everyone outside Slytherin kept calling me Neville. I never did see Harry or Ron or Hermione.
I think I would give Freud an aneurysm.