We set out resolute after our time with the Papperboxen, the Neptune Guild decided to begin their quest for the Golden Neckerchief of Knot-Tying. The Ancient Cubscouts of Valor lived deep within the forest of Kailegmed. AssCheek thought it best to head west from Horbug around the Thraileek Mountains and as he was the most powerful of our number and the most experienced, all save Shankster agreed.
The trek around the treacherous mountains began rather uneventfully until we chanced upon a horde of fire giants. As Darth Rimmer is unfortunately incredibly addicted to the cigarettes they often carry, we were forced to engage the enemy. The battle was long and fierce, with over two hundred giants bearing down upon the mightiest of our number. By sheer force of will (with a dash of Hastiness XVIII) the Voodoo Princess JennaJameson and the Impressive Hunter Strangler Shankster unleashed a fury of chicken’s blood and hangman’s nooses never before experienced even at the height of Vorlak’s power. Giants dropped in scores and the remainder ran in disarray into a nearby river (which was quite a mistake considering the average fire giant’s proclivity for swimming). As the group walked victoriously away (sharing in the bounty of fire giant cigarettes), we lesser travelers marveled at the Impressive Diamond Festoons that Cauchy’s Cannon tore from the mangled corpse of a fire giant and the bulging muscles of our mightiest warrior, AssCheek.
The remainder of the journey to Kailegmed was rather boring aside from the snide remarks made by Sanzerband toward Sir Shavesalot’s mother. However, once, Stupendous Man, in an obvious lack of coordination, fell some thirty feet off a precipice and into the largest pile of triceratops dung that any of the group had ever seen. After a few Good Move XXV’s from our friendly Mage Illusioner, Stupendous Man was free from the lightningsand-like grip of the feces.
We found the Ancient Cubscouts of Valor to be much less of a challenge than expected. It seems as though their troop leader had recently gone back to the minivan for some marshmallows and the guild had caught them unawares. Despite their small size, the scouts proved to be quite formidable. Sensing defeat, Sir Shavesalot and Shankster leapt into the fray unleashing a spray of Revolting Cloud XXXVI. Spurred on by this dazzling and dizzying display of courage, Tipper and MissGnomer unleashed a ruthless Lockjaw XXI and Dancing Polished Brandyclef combo attack. The Cubscouts, being weak in both number and leadership flew into disorder and easily fell to the hands of the mighty Neptune Guild. As JennaJameson smoked another fire giant cigarette and marched proudly home, the Golden Neckerchief of Knot-Tying hung loosely about her neck. The gleam of the beautifully blood-stained weapons, armor and Tumors (benign); was almost too much for Stupendous Man. Those who were closest to him could almost swear they saw a tear gleam in his eye as we bedded down for the evening and said our goodnights. Someday soon, Neptune will be powerful enough to challenge the likes of Vorlak himself and bring peace to all reaches of this world.
Oh, and kudos to Zech who made it into the top 5% this week after a harrowing duel with a Fighter/Organist.