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Today boys and girls we are going to make our own pasta. Now I'm not talkin like make a pasta dish with some of that hard assed yellow dried shit you buy at the supermarket, we are going to MAKE PASTA. It will taste infinitely better than supermarket crap.
"But I don't have the shit to make pasta!" you say, "It's too hard!" Bollocks. Here's what we are going to need...
3 Large eggs (pref free range but any will do)
2 Cups of white flour
A little salt (like a teaspoon)
That's All!!!
Make a pile out of the flour and salt. Make a hole (well) in the middle.
Break an egg into the hole and with a fork kinda whip it up with some of the flour till it forms a paste. Repeat with the other eggs.
Using your hands begin kneeding. Just add the flour from the edge of your flour volcano slowly. Squash, fold, squash, fold etc. If you don't think it will take all the flour add a LITTLE warm water.
You need to kneed it for about eight to ten minutes. If it's getting sticky just sprinkle some more flour on it and kneed it in. I like kneeding on a woodern board but anything clean will do. Your dough is ready when it forms a shiny, smooth, yellow mass which is quite elastic.
Wrap it in cling-film and leave it for at least half an hour.
Ok, now the fun begins. You have to decide what kind of pasta you are going to make. Let's keep it simple this time and make some strips. I know there's probably a funky Italian name for it but I have no idea...
Anyways at this stage some people break out the heavy artillery in the form of pasta rollers and shit. No need though really, I have temporarily lost my trusty rolling pin so it's a piece of steel pipe for me at the moment...
Flour your board (a shiny surface is best though, the mother in law has (had) got a marble rolling board which I have stolen) with a good sprinkle of flour.
Tear off a good handful of dough and sprinkle with flour. Begin to roll it out thinly. When you have a nice thin sheet cut it in half inch strips and set aside. You can hang it on a clothes hanger or something to dry or if you work quickly you don't have to bother. Repeat until all dough is used up.
Heat a big ass pot of water to the boil, salt well.
Add a good splash of oil to the pot to stop the pasta sticking together.
Cook until it's just a -little- chewy. Don't cook it to a soggy mess. Strain in a collander or sieve.
In a pan fry a little bacon in a good shake of olive oil. Add some olives, tomatos, balsamic vinegar, herbs, whatever. You want a nice sweet/sour balance so add a little sugar if necessary. Add the pasta and toss. Serve immediately. If this recipe doesn't get you some puss I don't know what will.
Cheese