About a Boy Overrated film about a shifty womanizer who, thanks to a young boy, mends his ways. Not all that funny, even somewhat depressing. C

Abraxas Jesse "The Gov" Ventura must hunt down another alien before it eats another kid... or something. Makes Hulk Hogan look like an Oscar winner. C

Accion Mutante Alex de Iglesia’s Cult hit about deformed terrorists that go around randomly killing the rich for there fortunes, post apocalypse. Fun but slow. C+

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Jim Carrey in his first really big role. I don't know about you, but just when I think I'm sick of this movie, it still makes me laugh. B

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls Not a great follow up to the original. The film has a few good gags, but overall isn't worth a second thought. C

Addicted to Murder Kevin Lindenmuth has problems telling a coherent story. Especially this vampire tale set in New York. Couldn't tell what was going on! Oh, and no nudity... booo! Other than that, decent effort and nice effects. B-

Addicted to Murder II A prequel to the previous film, this one is even more confusing. And still, no nudity! Lindenmuth... make them naked now! C+

Alien Outstanding perfect blend of sci-fi and horror. The claustrophobic feel of this 1979 classic from Ridley Scott in no way hurts the film, but makes it scarier. A-

Aliens Instead of Sci-fi horror, we get sci-fi action. Lots of action, more aliens, less scares but I’m not complaining. Aliens is a fantastic ride with some energetic performances by Sigourney Weaver and the great Lance Henrikson. A-

Alien Factor Wow. When Canada started to subsidize thier filmmakers, I bet they didn't count on this pile of monkey crap. Aliens, Canada, Doctors, Aliens, etc. D

Alien Predators Saw this baby on the USA network a few yrs back. Has your usual dumbass teens discovering alien life forms. I wasn’t awake to see the life forms in the second half, but what I saw blew so I won't give it an F since I didn’t catch the conclusion. D

Alien Prey Dreadful British crap, about an alien who seduces and kills a couple of homely lesbians. The male lead, after his alien metamorphosis looks like Michael Jackson, with its pointy fuckin' nose. God damn, I hate this movie!!! F

Alligator When I was a tyke no movie frightened me more than Alligator. Now I look at it as a fun, somewhat hokey monster movie, but I still love every bit. The kid getting pushed into the pool with the giant gator is a site to be seen. A

Alligator 2: The Mutation Alot of folks hate this sequel to the original Alligator but me, I thought it was kinda fun. It has some cool cult icons for sure. Richard Lynch stars as one of the guys hunting the giant gator as well as Jason Voorhees himself, Kane Hodder. B-

All of Me Lily Tomlin and Steve Martin share a body in this piss poor comedy. Ha Ha!! If I had to share a body with Lily Tomlin, how could I whack off? It'd be like making love to Lily Tomlin. If it were me it would be a short film cuz I'd kill myself in the first 10 minutes. Avoid this like the plague. D-

Almost Famous A 15 year old becomes a writer for Rolling Stone. I guess they'll take anybody. Reminds me of the time I hung out with Slayer. Okay, it was a Slayer cover band. Okay, a Vanilla Ice cover band, but I'm cool, really I am. Really. C

Amelie French film about a shy waitress who lives in her imagination. She is able to help others, but usually unable to help herself, especially when it comes to a love interest. Silly and fun. B+

American Beauty In a town where everyone is repressed in every way possible, Lester Burnham decides to give up his daily drudgery for the life of a teenage stoner. My hero. Excellent film deserving of every award it got and more. A

American Movie Rightfully a 1999 Sundance Winner. Brilliant documentary on a low-budget filmmaker, Mark Borchardt, and his struggles in (and in spite of) the Midwest. Wonderful. A

American Pie Four teens want to have sex by prom. For one, apple pie is woman enough. In that case, I'll have cake. Wet your pants funny. A

American Pie 2 Worthy sequel follows our horny heros after their first year of college. Only missing one thing: Shannon Elisabeth's hooters. A

American Pimp Follows the real life exploits of pimp turned preacher Don "Magic" Juan and other furry hat wearing slut wranglers. Interesting enough to make me want to put on a purple suit and sling some booty. A

American Psycho Patrick Bateman is a businessman on a killing spree, or is he? Digs deep into a narcissistic mind. Great film. A

American Psycho 2 Okay, did the filmmakers even see the first film? This is a half assed sequel to a brilliant film. William Shatner is funny as always, but just for defecating on the good name of its predecessor, this film gets an F

American Wedding Jim and Michelle get married amidst a series of zany circumstances. This series conclusion is in Stifler's hands. He and a gay guy named Bear (played brilliantly by Eric Allen Kramer) steal the show. A

Amin: The Rise And Fall Time Magazine and Vincent Canby actually gave this turkey about the Saddamesqe Ugandan dictator Idi Amin good reviews. Your gonna wonder about their credibilty if you see how bad this movie is. Believe me, it's one of the worst historical bio-pics ever put to screen. Then again, you probably question my credibility which you shouldn’t because I’m speakin' the truth. Amin blows!!! D

Amityville Horror Terror-filled horror from a true incident. This is a true fright classic. And Margot Kidder doesn't end up naked in a bush, either. A

Anatomy of a Psycho One of Ed Wood's lesser known gems. Juvenile delinquents in the 50s had no other choice but to kill people and then feel really, really guilty afterwards. C

Angels with Dirt Faces Jimmy Cagney , Humphrey Bogart and Pat O’Brian put togethor a trifecta of superb performances in this story about juvenile delinquents , who grow up to be a gangster(Cagney) and a Priest (O’Brian) . Vintage Cagney, not many can do a gangser role better. A

Anger Management A mild mannered man is pushed to the edge by an insane psychologist. Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson make a great team in this film full of celebrity cameos. A-

Anthropophagus Fun splatter from Joe D’Amato. Very slow the but the gore is legenedary and often heavily cut. Any movie starring a cannibal who eats babies gets a gold star from me. B-

Ants The rental box for this flick has a shot of Suzanne Summers rack covered with ants. Now that’s the way to market an enjoyable ants run amok film. B-

Armageddon Fairly hokey in premise, but an all star cast does provide some good laughs. If only that damned Aerosmith song would get out of my head! B-

Army of Darkness Bruce Campbell, boomstick in hand, single-handedly kicks the crap out of an army of the living dead, including his own alter-ego. Groovy. A+

As Good as it Gets If this is as good as it gets, I'm going to end it all now. Jack Nicholson should be embarrassed to be in this three hour hell with Helen "Ratface" Hunt. This film proves that Oscars are bought. F

Assassination Charles Protects the president in this 1986 so-called action bomb. One of Chuck's worst. When I saw the PG-13 , that was a bad sign cuz it meant no Bronson violence that made his 80s ass kickers so much fun. D

Astounding She Monster Ooh... the 50s had some skin tight alien suits, no? Usual shlocker neither delivers on a convincing alien (although she is hot) nor does it provide any weird, American social commentary (like 50s sci-fi should). Woof. D

Astronaut's Wife, The So boring it literally put me to sleep. I can't imagine wanting to not look at Charlize Theron for two hours, but this movie is reason enough. F

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes This film wasn't as clever as the writers thought it was. Bad one-liners and worse acting makes it a real dud. D+

Attack of the Mushroom People People sailing on a boat dine on mushrooms, later they pay for it cuz they turn into….. Mushroom People. Enjoyable garbage. C+

Austin Powers in Goldmember The star-studded opening sequence is worth the price of admission alone. Myers is definitely brilliant. A

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery The brilliant Mike Myers creates a wonderful spoof/homage to British spies. Highly recommended! A

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me Respectable sequel to the original blockbuster. Myers is back and playing even more characters this time! B+

Axe Short (thank god) early Harry Novak produced rape / revenge flick about some crooks who rape a crazy chick who loves swinging her Axe. Boring and not as good as it may appear to be from the box cover. D+