The future has a funny way of hitting you in the face sometimes. People just walk into your life - sometimes they crash into it, actually, and for some reason they stick around even if you're not yourself at the time. Then when you are yourself… well, that's when it gets all messed up.

Like I said though - the future. I have a lot of questions about it. A lot of them come from unanswered questions about my past, things about my family, things I don't know if I'll be able to do or achieve. All I'm really sure of is that I'm not sure of anything - not in the future anyway. I suppose that's no different from anybody else, really.

Except that I don't know how many people meet their futures and know it. I didn't want to know - and I'm still not sure that I do - but there's something about this girl that came tumbling into my life that I just can't get over. She's - well, she's everything I never wanted in a girl, actually. She's bold, kind of pushy - well, actually, she's really pushy. She really can't keep her nose out of other peoples' business. She kind of tramples over things, like she knows better or something. Like she's seen more. Well yeah, I guess she has, but why does that mean she can go stomping around in my life and telling me what to do all the time? As if there aren't enough people who think they know what I should do! I doesn't matter that I don't know myself, it's just… ugh, she's so bossy.

She has a comeback for everything. Everything. There is no out-quipping her, she's faster than a speeding bullet, or something. Sometimes I feel like she just flew right by me and I never even saw her coming - kind of like how she showed up in the first place - and then suddenly she's there again. She's sort of in and out, here and there - she shows up at the worst possible times. That party for Chloe! Could that have been worse? The timing? Oh man, I just - okay, I promised myself I was gonna shut up about that. At least for now. Ahhh! She drives me crazy. I mean seriously, what kind of respectable girl goes walking into a really obviously occupied bathroom ('cause yeah, steam and the sound of running water aren't dead giveaways or anything) and starts commenting on - well, nevermind about that either. And she stole my shirt! Grrr. She looked good in my shirt though… yeah, nevermind. Again. Actually, I haven't seen that shirt… I think she kept it. Ha - I bet she did. I wonder if she wears it to bed? Oh, shut up now… damn it.

You know what it is? She's just - too big for my life, as it is right now. She's too much. I get this feeling that I'll be seeing her again, someplace else, but - she doesn't really belong here. I don't know why she's here now, really. I mean yeah, she came because somebody she cared about died, or so we all thought, and she thought I'd have something for her that would help. I understand that. But this weird stuff happens. Suddenly having to go to high school again? Here? What is that about? I don't know what it is about her. Part of me likes having her around - even though she drives me nuts, really. One of these days I swear I'm gonna give her a comeback that'll just leave her speechless. At least I hope so, 'cause I'm getting kind of sick of getting my verbal butt kicked every time she opens her mouth. I'll catch up to her - ha, of course I will - someday she'll be the one saying "where the heck did you come from?"

See, that's the thing - I get this feeling about "someday" - like that's where she belongs - a "someday" that happens someplace else, when I've grown up and she - I hope - tames down. Okay, maybe I don't want her tame, just - yeah, I gotta study up on the banter if I'm gonna keep up with her. And I will be - keeping up with her, that is. I don't really understand why I have this feeling, it's sort of a gut reaction. I don't know what it is about her, she's just - unusual? Like me, in a way, but completely different. She throws me. She keeps me on my toes, not by getting herself into trouble or by even trying to get my attention, she just says this stuff, and then it's like - for a second, I get it. And then she steals my shirt. But that's okay, she can keep it.

I think I'll get it back someday.