Chapter 1
Chapter One
Can You Hear Me Now?
April 25th, 2005
The lights were still flashing in front of his eyes as he tried to differentiate them from the passing headlights. “Its all for the sake of the video.” Justin said shaking his head as he drove home in the rain from his final day of shooting the video for his next single “Rock your Body”. He decided to call his voice mail, anything to keep him awake. Sure he was used to staying up til the wee hours of the morning, but he hadn’t been getting much sleep lately. Too much was ‘still on his brain’ …so to say. A part of him wanted nothing more but to leave the past exactly where it belonged. In the past. But that annoying side that still kept clinging on was leading him to a point of no return.
“Justin? This is your Momma…Let me know how the video shoot goes…”
“I don’t think you want to hear about it this late.” Justin sighed as he pushed the button on his phone to go forward to the next message.
“Ay J, its Trace…”
“I thought I was doing this to try to stay awake.” Justin mumbled to himself as he skipped the message. The next one was Trace once again. The rain had now tapered off so Justin decided rolling the windows down would help keep him awake better than his best friend’s late night ramblings.
Message three…
There was a pause of silence. “Okay…” he said raising his eyebrows. “Did Trace call me unconscious?” he said laughing to himself until he heard an all too familiar voice come through the line.
“I…I just thought I’d call. But obviously you’re busy as usual…you don’t have to call me back, I---I’m just wasting my time. I’m sorry…click
The blaring of a horn shook Justin out of his trance, he glanced up at the light that had probably been green for the past 2 or 3 minutes now and quickly pushed the gas. He played the message back again. The call had actually only been made an hour or so ago. Was it possible that she had been loosing sleep over this too? But it had been a year, and absolutely no words had been spoken between the two of them. Maybe it had just taken this long for her to finally realize what they had both lost.Maybe she was doing exactly like he was, thinking back to all the good times they had together, like how they got together in the first place. The other four guys had a hand in it, leaving him at the club with her and catching an early flight so that he’d have no other choice but to go home with her. It was a great plan that had actually worked.
But not every fairy tale has a happy ending.
Perhaps we should back track a little. Almost two years has passed since Lance and Sabrina’s wedding. They had a baby now, an extremely energetic little boy named Jakob. Harli made her movie with the guys and it turned out to be a huge success, especially among the NSYNC fans. Most critics wanted to write it off as just another ‘On the Line’ or ‘Crossroads’, but the box office numbers put a stop to all their negativity. Higher movie ratings also caused Harli’s TV show “To Be With You” to reach its all time highest ratings since the show had aired.
Everything seemed to be happening at once, by the movie doing so well, both Harli and *NSYNC had gained new fans of all types. Which meant practically everyone was interested in Harli and Justin’s relationship. They became the media’s favorite couple. Every magazine cover wanted them, entertainment news shows practically stalked them around every corner, millions of websites spawned almost instantly, privacy became extinct. They soon realized why all these ‘happy celebrity couples’ usually end up ugly. They were never alone and with all the rumors floating around about them, it was hard for even them to tell the difference between fact and fiction.
They finally came to a point were it was just too much of a hassle for them to even be around each other. So much anger had built up inside of them. They began to not care about their relationship. They unnoticeably hurt each other’s feelings; angry conversations were being made face-to-face, then over the phone, through emails and voice messages, and then eventually nothing at all. Finally they started telling reporters that they had broke up, and of course they both would say that ‘the other one admitted to it first’.
The breakup had been ugly, but neither of them had time to mourn over a broken heart. Harli was occupied with her TV show. Justin was now absorbed into his solo project, which Harli refused to listen to. He had just released his third single and she had yet to hear the first one or see an appearance on TV. She told Sabrina she was simply not interested in it, But her best friend knew the truth. It wasn’t because she was so strong and so uninterested in Justin’s work. It was because she was afraid she’d fall for him all over again.
7:00A.M later on that day in Hollywood CA
“Would you get that horrid look off of you face? It’s Friday! You’re supposed to be HAPPY!” Nicky said as he jumped around happily in front of his friend and co-worker, who obviously was not amused.
“I’m too tired to be happy.” Harli said while tiredly flipping through her script.
“Well if you’d get into bed at a decent hour instead of partying every night, with a different male celebrity each time might I add…”
Harli gave him the death glare before lowering her eyes back down to the papers in her hand. “So what other untrue crap did you hear on Access Hollywood last night?”
“Oh nothing much, they showed some fun new clips of Justin’s next video.”
“Splendid.” She said sarcastically while getting up from her seat. “Who’s he stalking in this one?”
“Actually there’s just a bunch of lights and stuff. Oh and he has a goatee…” He stopped to glance at the look on her face. “It makes him look very George Michael-ish.”
“You have got to be kidding me.”
“I kid you not. It actually looks pretty hot on him if I do say so myself.”
“Well why don’t you try to get with him Nicky? He’s dating everyone else, who knows? Maybe he wants to play the other field for awhile.”
“Oh Harli don’t take your bitterness out on me!” He said while following her to her dressing room and stopping inside the door. “You really think so?” he whispered.
“No Nicky. I don’t. I was being sarcastic. Have you been reading slash stories again?”
“Well, yeah, but you know, for me they’re just ‘fan fics’.”
“Whatever.” She said rolling her eyes. “I need to get ready.
“Yeah me too.” He said while looking at his watch. “Hey Harli?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry for being stupid and bringing him up. I wasn’t thinking.”
“Its okay Nicky.”
“Have you talked to him any?”
“No…I---We need to get ready for the show Nicky.”
“Yeah…well, see ya in a few.” He said while walking into the hall to his room.
Harli wandered over to her vanity and sat down. Wiping her tired, sleepy eyes,she stared at her reflection in the mirror. He had probably heard her voice mail by now. She prayed he wouldn’t reply. She regretted even calling. There was no use in stirring up old emotions and both of them getting hurt all over again. He had a new life now. She…pretty much, had nothing new and exciting going on. Seems that once you’re not one-half of the hottest celebrity couple, no one in the industry wants to fool with you.
There was a knock at her door, which caused her to jolt out of her daze. “Harli?” the director said as he stuck his head in the door. “We’re having a few complications with the set this morning, we’re going to have to cancel shooting for today.”
“Oh, hey, that’s fine with me.” She smiled as he nodded and went to inform the others. Harli gathered her things to go back home. She picked up her cell phone and reluctantly turned it on.
You have no new messages…
“Figures.” She sighed as she dialed her phone and listened to it ring several times before someone picked up.
“erm..hallo?”
“Lance?”
“Harli?” he said yawning. “What time is it?”
“Um..Seven-thirty-ish, probably around eleven there. Are you still in bed?”
“Yeah. Well, just taking a nap, while Jakob is.”
“Oh….I see. Is Sabrina there?”
“Yeah she is…she’s actually still asleep though. Out like a light.” He said yawning again.
“Well, I’ll call back later, sorry I woke you.” Harli said, followed by silence on the other end. “Lance? Lance??”
“Huh? Oh What??”
“I said I’ll let you go.”
“Okay.” He said followed by snoring.
She ended the call and was surprised when the phone started to ring. “Lance? You have to hang up the phone. It’s causing mine to freak out. So hang it up…. if you’re awake…”
“Um…knowing him he’s probably still asleep.”
“I—I’m sorry I thought you were someone else, who is this?” she said while cradling the phone with her shoulder while attempting to get into her car and hold onto all of her things in the process.
“Has it really been that long Harli? I mean, I recognized your voice…”
“Ju---“ CRASH…THUD “Crap!” Harli yelled as her phone slipped and hit hard against the pavement, shattering it into several pieces. “Well then.” She said while staring up at the sky. “Trying to tell me something here??”
“Hello? Helloooo?” Justin said into his phone confused at the loud noise and then static that he heard on the other end. “I guess she didn’t want to talk after all.” He said as he ended the call.
“AAHHHHHHH!!!”
“Jakob!” Sabrina yelled as she ran into the living room. “Stop pulling Uncle Chris’ nose!”
“Heee okee He okee Sebina.” Chris said as he tried to pry the toddler’s fingers off his nose. “We’re just playing around.”
“Well he needs to learn that other people’s body parts don’t belong to him.” She said while picking the little boy up. “Tell Chris you’re sorry Jakey.”
“Sowwies Kiss.” He said while laying his head over on his mother’s shoulder.
“Its okay little man. See…its still attached.” he said while pulling at his nose, Causing Jacob to break out in laughter. Lance walked by on the phone and waved his hand to shush the others.
“No, for the thousandth time, I haven’t spoke to anyone from NASA about me not wanting to go on the mission!”
“Do what…? Lance…?”Chris said in confusion.
“Chris, can you help me in the kitchen?” Sabrina said quickly to shut him up.
“Sure…but…? Lance?”
“NOW Chris!” she said while pulling him along.
“Ow…ow , you’re worse than your kid!” Chris said as his shoulder bounced off the kitchen door panel. “What’s the deal? You told us that Lance decided not to go on with this NASA stuff.”
“Yes…” Sabrina said, nodding her head. “That’s what I said.”
“Then how come He’s the one acting all clueless about it? Unless—“
“Its for his own good!”
“Unless YOU told them he wasn’t going…”
“Chris you know he doesn’t need to go…” she said while desperately trying to shut him up.
“YOU told them without him knowing anything about it??” Chris yelled. “Sabrina!! How could you do something like that?”
“It was after the Columbia disaster…they called and I told them he was too upset to talk to them about it and he didn’t want to go so that they’d remove him from the list.”
“Don’t you think he might need to know about that?”
“Um...Maybe?” She said sheepishly.
“And…are you planning on telling him? Sometime in the near future?” Chris said slowly.
“Um…Maybe? Again.”
“You know he’s going to figure it out.”
“Yeah especially now that you know, big mouth!”
“Yeah Big mouf!” Jakob yelled.
“Jakob Bass!” Lance said as he stuck his head in the door. “Say your sorry right now!”
“But Mommy did it too!” he said while blinking his eyes.
“Teaching our kid bad habits sweetie?” he said while handing her the phone. “
“More than you know…” Chris said as he quietly wandered into the next room.
“Who’s on the phone?” Sabrina asked.
“NASA!” Chris yelled out.
“Um…” Lance said staring strangely in the direction of Chris’ voice. “No it’s Justin. He wants to know if you’ve heard from Harli or something.”
“Geez…” Sabrina sighed.
“Just talk to him honey.”
“Whatever, hello? Hi Justin.” She said as she put the phone to her ear.
“You sound enthused.” He said on the other end. “Is this a bad time?”
“No Justin.”
“Oh.” He said followed by an uncomfortable silence. “Are you sure?”
Sabrina fumed before blurting out an answer. “Yes Justin. Harli was fine the last time I talked to her, which was probably last week sometime. I don’t keep tabs on her, she’s a grown woman and she doesn’t have to check in with ME every day just so that I can give YOU an update! If you’re so interested in how she’s doing…just…CALL HER YOURSELF!”
Chris held his hands over little Jakob’s eyes. “It’s okay, Mommy’s just PMS’ing.”
“Well..,” Justin said, clearing his throat. “I was going to tell you…before you blew up on me…that I DID call her.”
“Oh? You did?” Sabrina said as her face turned a million shades of red. “That…that’s great.”
“I forgive you.” Justin said laughing.
“Thank you.” She said in embarrassment. “So…what happened? Did you two talk?”
“I don’t know! Maybe you need to call HER and ask HER about it…” He said back sarcastically. “No I’m just kidding…”
“You better be.”
“I am! Anyway, I called; actually I was returning a voice mail that she had sent me. And I don’t know if we lost connection or what but the phone went out and I haven’t been able to get a hold of her since.”
“Hmm…well I’ll call her home phone and see what’s up.”
“Thanks, I would’ve done that but …you know.”
“I know. I know you’re both scared to death to talk to each other.” She said while rolling her eyes.
“Its not that Sabrina.”
“Sure. Well, I’m going to try calling her now.”
“Okay, talk to ya later.” He said before hanging up.
Harli had returned home, changed back into her PJ’s and settled down on the couch to watch TV.
“Hmm…Soaps, Nasty talk shows…Oooo Golf! Infomercials…Digital Cable sucks.” She said while finally stopping on the Country music video channel. She had found herself listening to Country more and more these days. The best thing about it? No Justin. MTV constantly showed his stalker video, as Harli liked to call it, BET was even showing his videos. But CMT? That was her new refuge. A lot of the songs she heard on there were so calming to her. They reminded her of when she was younger. During the summer months, she would go visit her Grandma in Alabama. Her cousin Claudia lived there and was practically raised by their Grandma. Both girls were around the same age and were the best of friends were they were little. Harli held so many precious memories in those wide open fields, full of wildflowers and daises. She could almost feel the cool grass on her feet while she though about how she and her cousin would run for what seemed miles and miles. The air was so crisp and clear and there wasn’t another house nearby the old farmland for as far as you could see. It had been years since Harli had visited the two of them, and now with her busy schedule in California, going back to Alabama almost seemed impossible.
Harli jumped from her happy daydreams when the phone began to ring. “Hello?”
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Oh, hey Sabrina.” She said sitting up on the couch. “Not much. They cancelled filming today…again.”
“Oh? They’re doing that a lot lately aren’t they?” Sabrina said, concerned.
“Yeah. This time it was about the props or the set or something like that…I think.”
“Well, are you all right?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Harli said unconvincingly. “I…I called Justin the other night…I just got his voice mail though.”
“Yeah, that’s kinda why I’m calling. He called here, said he called your cell phone and you lost connection or something?”
Harli laughed. “Uh…that would be because I dropped the phone.”
“Threw it or dropped it?”
“Dropped it!” she said laughing harder. “I honestly didn’t do it on purpose. It shattered to pieces, I’m supposed to get a new one tomorrow.”
“Well, at least you’re okay. He thought something may have happened.”
“Then why didn’t he simply call me instead of putting you up to do it Sabrina?”
“I don’t know Harli, why didn’t you call him back and explain what happened??”
“He’s the one that thought something was wrong! What if someone had hit me over the head?”
“Harli…”
“Seriously! He’d be the only one that knew about it. And what does he do? Call you up and make you call me!”
“Harli Landon would you stop being so dramatic!”
“I’m an actress, I’m supposed to be dramatic.” Harli giggled.
“You’re pathetic, that’s exactly what you are.” Sabrina laughed. “Look, I hate to cut you short but if I don’t go now I’m afraid my son will kill Chris.”
“Sabrina! I’ve told you not to leave your kid alone with him! He’ll teach him bad habits!”
“I already know.” Sabrina sighed. “Bye Harli.”
Harli lazily laid back down against the comfort of her couch, the phone remaining in her hand. “If he just wasn’t so stubborn.” She thought to herself and sighed. “And I guess if I wasn’t either.” She said sadly as happier thoughts of the two of them lingered in her mind. At least he did seem somewhat concerned about her. Maybe, she thought, just maybe she should try calling. Maybe he was waiting on her to make the first move.
“No!” Harli whined as she rolled over on the couch and buried her face in the fabric. “I will not call. I won’t…I won’t do it!” she said while turning again and hesitantly sitting up. “But I can’t be mad at him for being so stubborn when I’m exactly the same way.” She grumbled, half angry, half-anxious as she quickly dialed the number.
“Hello?”
“Justin?” Harli said after a few seconds of silence, now practically clutching the phone in her hands. “Its Harli.”
“Hey, you’re alive after all.” He said happily. She could almost see the bright smile on his face. “What happened earlier?”
“What happened? Um well I kinda dropped my phone. And it kinda shattered on the pavement.”
“Dropped or threw?”
“I DROPPED it Justin. If I was going to throw it I would’ve called you on my old cell phone, not my brand new one.” She pouted.
“Well that’s good to know. I guess.” He laughed. There was another pause of silence. “So, how’ve you been? How’s the show?”
“Good I guess, and you haven’t been watching?”
“Have you listened to my album?” he shot back.
“Well, technically….no. I haven’t had the chance to yet.”
“Its been out since November Harli.”
“I know but, I’ve been extremely busy lately.”
“Mmhmm.” He said, not believing her in the least. “Yeah well that’s why I haven’t been watching the show either so I guess we’re even.”
“I guess we are.”
“So, things are going pretty good though?”
“Yeah, better than ever. Have you talked to your mom lately, how’s she?” she said, desperately trying to change the subject.
“She’s great, but you’ve still not answered my question.”
“What? I told you I’ve been busy. So therefore things have to be doing good. Right?”
“I’ve heard about the ratings dropping Harli, we all have. And I hate it because I fell partially responsible for that.”
“How is that possible Justin? My TV show and its ratings have nothing to do with you!”
“Okay maybe not me personally, but us, yes. The ratings began slipping when we broke up.”
“Oh so now I need you to keep my popularity level up…”
“Harli…” Justin said, trying to stop her and wishing he had kept his mouth shut about it.
“Well let me tell you, I had the show before we were such a ‘hot item’. I didn’t need you to get it and I don’t need you to keep it!”
“I know Harli. But you know how things like this go.”
“Yes I know.” She sighed. “I know how hard it is to be a celebrity couple because for some odd reason, absolutely none of them stay together and therefore causes some horrid curse to be put on every single happy celebrity couple until the end of time! I know if the critics and the viewers just get tired of looking at your face every week, the show gets axed and a bunch of people loose their jobs and are known as has-beens that no one wants to fool with. Yes Justin. I know how things like this go. Unfortunately I know too well.”
“Harli. I’m sorry. I don’t know why we couldn’t work things out.”
“Because we were happy. We had a good thing going.” She said as a tear silently fell down her cheek. “Good things don’t last forever.”
“I’ll be out in a minute.” Justin said with his voice muffled. “Look, Harli I…”
“I know, you have other things to do, I’ll let you go.”
“Its just an interview, I can postpone it if you want to talk.”
“Just go ahead.” She said quietly.
“Well, I didn’t want to make you sad, but it was nice to hear from you. I’m sorry if I hurt you.”
Harli bit her bottom lip to hold in the urge to cry. “I’ll talk to you later Justin. Bye.”
“Bye Harli.” He said hesitantly before hanging up the phone.
She curled back into the same position she was in before she had called him. The phone now lying on the floor beside the couch. She didn’t think it was possible to actually feel worse than she had. Hearing his voice and how sincere it was made her want to be near him now more than ever, If not him, at least someone that she could just hold on to when times got hard. Things were about to change in her life once again. But this time she didn’t have anyone to turn to when that change threw her life upside down. Her parents lived on the other side of the country, and were busy enjoying their hard earned retirement days. Even though she was always welcome to come back home, she didn’t want to be one of those kids that return back to the nest after trying to make a life of their own. And she couldn’t go crying back to Sabrina now. She had her own family to worry about.
So Harli was stuck in Hollywood, alone and unsure of what tomorrow was going to dish out at her. Her childhood dreams had all come true, and its funny how now she longed to return to those days when she would daydream of all the fortune and fame she now has.
June 1991
The rain was pouring down outside, another one of those summer rain showers, no thunder or lightning, just constant rain. Peppering down on the old tin roof and confining Harli and her cousin Claudia in the house the entire day. But they were always able to find something to occupy themselves with Especially when they were left at the house alone while their grandmother ran errands for the day.
The bedroom was dark and quiet except for the beam of a flashlight bobbing around and careful, but sometimes giggling whispers coming from the girls.
“Is it ready yet?”
“No, the light isn’t on. Harli get in your place!”
“But its not ready yet, is it ready yet?” Harli said as she bounced around anxiously from one foot to the other, causing her L.A. Gear shoes to light up.
“Ummm…” Claudia said as she pushed a few more buttons on their grandmother’s camcorder. “I think so..okay now! Get your microphone! Hurry Harli.”
Harli frantically grabbed the curling hairbrush and pushed some crimped strands of hair out of her face. “I’m ready, start the music.”
“Okay,” Claudia yelled as she ran to her bright pink cassette player and ran back. “3-2-1-Action!”
The intro to the music begin playing while Harli sat on the bed, hairbrush, aka microphone, in hand, and waited for her cue to start singing. She slowly raised her head and stared into the camera with as much dramatic emotion as an eight year old could possibly have.
I know this pain
Why do you lock yourself up in these chains?
No one can change your life except for you
Don't ever let anyone step all over you
Just open your heart and your mind
Is it really fair to feel this way inside?
Harli jumped up right before the chorus began and motioned for Claudia to run over beside her and join her for the chorus.
Some day somebody's gonna make you want to turn around and say
goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them hold you down and make
you cry
Don't you know?
things can change
Things'll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can you hold on for one more day
Things'll go your way
Hold on for one more day
Both girls were now singing and dancing along to the routine that they had worked on for days..,maybe even weeks! They were so excited that they were finally making their first ‘real music video’ that they didn’t even hear their grandmother come in downstairs.
“So that’s where my video camera has been disappearing to.”
“OW!” the girls both exclaimed after knocking each other down.
“What did I tell you girls about using my things without my permission?”
“But we knew you wouldn’t let us use it anyway…OW!” Harli yelled again after Claudia punched her. “I mean, sorry Grandma.” She said, now rubbing her arm and giving her cousin an angry look.
“And what do you have all over your face? Gracious Claudia! All this pink and blue gunk, you’re both too young for make-up.” She said while attempting to rub the sparkly powder off their faces. “Now go get washed up, dinner will be ready soon.
The girls sat in front of the TV in the den while their dinner was being cooked. “Hold it.” Harli said while grabbing the remote out of Claudia’s hands. “What’s this channel?”
Claudia sat up from where she was laying in the floor. “The Disney channel, we get it free sometimes. There’s never anything on it though. You must have to pay to see the good stuff.” She said while reaching for the remote.
“Wait.” Harli got up and moved to the couch. “This is the Mickey Mouse Club.”
“So?”
“So! Haven’t you seen their pictures in Teen Beat and stuff?”
“No. But I think there’s some good cartoons coming on another station.” She said, now grabbing for the remote.
“Stop IT Claudia!” Harli yelled as she started running away from her. “There’s cute boys on it!” she said screaming and laughing as her cousin jumped on top of the couch to get to her.
“Well why didn’t you say that to start with?” she said turning around to face the TV. “I just see a bunch of girls dancing around. Can I change it please?”
“Just a minute.” Harli said as Claudia crossed her arms against her chest and sank down into the cushions more.
“This is boring. We sing better than this.”
“There he is!” Harli shouted. “There’s the one I saw in the magazine!”
“Who is he?” Claudia said, still bored and unimpressed.
Harli shrugged her shoulders. “I dunno. I just thought he was cute.”
“You don’t even know his name? Why didn’t you read the interview?”
“Nooo…Because the interview with him was on the back of a really good New Kids poster.” She said rolling her eyes. “Duh!”
“He’s too scrawny anyway. Can I change it now, please?”
Harli sighed. “Go ahead. But he’s not scrawny.”
“Yes he is. And he has weird hair.”
“He has cute hair!” Harli yelled back defensively.
“Its curly and ugly and blahhhh!” Claudia said, making a face.
“Well, I like him.” She said while sitting up straight and sticking her head in the air.
“Yeah, you don’t even know his name.” Claudia laughed.
Riiing! Harli jolted up, once again, from the couch. Surprised, this time not by the phone (which she absentmindedly didn’t hear ringing.) But by the memory she just had. It was almost like a dream but she knew it wasn’t, she could remember the entire thing happening just like it was yesterday.
Rinnng!!
…But that one part, the last part where they were watching TV, it had never been that clear to her before. She always knew she had watched MMC one time when she was little, but she could never remember anything about it or any of the people on it. Of course, after watching the marathon over and over with Sabrina, it was easy to get that one episode scrambled with all the others.
RIINGG!
But she HAD watched it, or at least the small amount that Claudia would let her watch. And she HAD seen him on there, even though she didn’t even know what his name was at the time. But why was she remembering that part now?
Riinggg…beep beep beep. Hello, this is Harli, I can’t come to the phone right now…”
“Crap!” Harli yelled as she jumped up to get the phone. “Hello?”
“Oh, good you are there. Harli this is Ben, We just had a talk with some of the producers…”
“Mm..well its so nice of you to call and give me the good news Ben.” Harli said sarcastically to her producer.
“Yeah well, don’t kill the messenger. We’re taking the rest of the week off and there’s going to be a meeting with the entire cast and crew on Monday at eight.”
“The rest of the week?? Just because of some set problems?”
“I don’t know, I don’t think it’s just that.”
“Then what is it?”
“Listen Harli, I can’t say, I honestly don’t know anything yet. You…You’ll just have to wait until Monday like everyone else.”
“I guess so.” She sighed. “Well, thanks for calling and letting me know.”
“Anytime Harli, take care.”
“I will.” She said before hanging up the phone. “ I have nothing else to do.” She looked around her quiet and lonely house and slowly made her way upstairs.
“Hmm… I could clean, maybe…” she pulled on a closet door in one of the guest rooms. Pulled again and realized the door was jammed, pulled again harder and fell backwards on the floor.
“Well, she said while pushing the contents of the closet off of her. “I defiantly have to clean now.” While rubbing her forehead she felt something on it and then saw blood on her hand.
“This day is getting better and better! Why the freak am I bleeding?” Looking around in the floor she saw her nemesis lying just a few feet away. A fishing line had obviously hit her in the head and the hook snagged her a little. Harli picked it up, thanking God that the hook wasn’t attached to her head. The tiny cut had already stopped bleeding, but memories, more painful than any cut or bruise, were coming back again.
She started thinking about the first and only time she had ever used that fishing line. She and Justin had gone to visit some of his relatives in Tennessee. On the last day there they had went to the nearby state park, located next to a lake, to go fishing.
“I can’t believe someone who has grown up in the south all their life, near the shore at that, and you’ve never went fishing.” Justin said as he walked a couple feet ahead of her on a trail. Harli traveled along slowly behind him, watching out for holes and tree roots below and tree limbs overhead, all while trying to keep her rod out of the way.
“I can’t believe people actually go through all this just to fish.” She said as she jerked her fishing line out of another bush. Justin just laughed as he waited for her to catch up.
“You’re just not used to it.” He said while putting his arm around her.
“You can say that again.” She stumbled over another tree root and sighed. “Can’t we just stop here? There’s a level area right beside the water. And its level! Did I mention it was level?”
“I guess we can stop here for now.” He said walking closer to the water. “At least until you get the hang of it, then we can go deeper.”
“If you’re waiting on me to get the hang of it, we won’t be moving.”
“Anyway, Go ahead and bait your hook and I’ll show you how to cast ---.”
“What with?”
“A worm Harli.”
“Those??” she said pointing at the container of live bait they had bought. “But they’re alive.”
Justin laughed. “They won’t be when you stick a hook up their butts, now just pick one up.”
Harli hesitantly dug around in the dirt until she found the smallest worm and picked it up. “Okay, this isn’t so bad…it’s like a gummy worm or something.”
“Do you want me to do it?” he asked as she stared at the worm in disgust.
“No no no…I can do it. You don’t have to do everything for me, I’m not that girly.” She protested. “So I just stick it on there?”
“Yep, all the way through. Like that.” Justin said while sliding his worm on the hook. “See, its simple.”
“Okay.” She said taking a deep breath before starting to hook the worm. “Oh my God!” she screamed and threw everything down.
“What is it? Did you hook yourself??”
“Nooo!” she whined. “IT… SQUIRMED!”
“Well, you’d squirm too if you were getting hooked.” He said laughing. “Here, just let me do it.”
They finally got their bait on the hooks and began to cast out into the water. Justin went first, letting Harli watch him. It looked simple enough so she tried to do it on her own, then found out that it wasn’t so simple.
“Harli…harli…Honey…stop.” Justin said laughing while he walked over to her as she continuously swung the line back and forth.
“How do you get it to go way out there?? It won’t go!”
“Well, you have to flip this little handle first.” He said. “That releases the line.”
“Oh…Okay…” she said as she started to swing the rod behind her.
“What?” she said turning around and watching the line sail behind them into the trees.
“You’re supposed to hold onto it so that it won’t do that.” Justin said as he walked over to the tree and examined the damage. “Yeah…that’s up there permanently, unless you want to climb up there and get it?”
“I think I’ll pass. I’m sorry. I told you I wasn’t any good at this stuff.”
“Its okay, we’ll just cut the line and get you started again.”
“Oh, you mean I still get to fish?”
“Of course you do, but you have to learn how to cast into the water first…and away from the trees.”
“Oh. Good. Yay.” She said sarcastically.
After getting the line down, re-hooking, and re-baiting, Justin handed her the rod. “Now. You flip up the little bar.”
“ I got that part already.”
“And see the line here? As you start to throw it out…HOLD it!”
“I got that part…now.”
“And you let it go as you’re bringing your arm back down, like this.” He said before casting his fishing rod out again. “Now you do it.”
“Are you sure you want me to? I can just sit and watch you!”
“Harli…”
“Okay, I can do this.” She said while slowly going through all the steps he taught her. Finally her line flew out into the lake. “I did it! Justin! I did it! It didn’t go into a tree!”
“That’s great! Now, catch a fish.”
“I’m going to, I’m gonna catch more fish and bigger fish than you.” She boasted. Suddenly they heard loud splashing down the lake a few feet away. “What was that?”
“A fish, probably a carp.”
“THAT was a FISH?” Harli exclaimed. “I thought someone was doing a belly flop!”
“No, it was a fish Harli, it just jumped up out of the water…and hey, since you’re going to catch bigger fish than I am, why don’t you go try to catch it?”
“I may just have to go do that!” she said, marching off toward the area that the carp was at.
“Okay…” He said laughing. “Be sure not to catch any pines this time.” Harli glared back at him as she cast her line out into the water. “Good Job!”
“Hmmph.” She said loudly. “Now, what am I supposed to do when that thing starts biting?” she thought to herself. She didn’t have to wonder about that too long; a few seconds later something started tugging on her line. “Uh oh…uh…Justin?”
“You have got to be kidding me.” He said to himself before running over to her. “Okay, just reel it in Harli, you’ve got it. Keep reeling.”
“I’m trying to!” she said while fighting with the fish. Justin grabbed the rod and helped her pull and tug it in the rest of the way. “Oh my God! I caught it! I caught that!” she said, jumping up and down happily before wrapping her arms around his neck. “I love you!”
Justin smiled and returned the hug. “I love you too Harli.”
He stared at the picture in the frame before carefully tucking it back into his suitcase. For some reason, he hadn’t ever taken it out of his luggage. He took it along with him everywhere, just so that he could see Harli’s smiling face, proudly holding the first fish she had ever caught. They were so happy then! By looking at still photographs from the past couple of years, it would be almost impossible to think that the two of them wouldn’t last.
“I guess anything is possible.” Justin sighed, zipping up his suitcase and setting it off the bed so that he could lie down a while before he had to leave the hotel. He closed his eyes as his mind wandered back to when it all came to an end. ..
Last summer...
“Run that by me again?” Harli said in awe of what he had just told her.
Pacing back and forth in his kitchen, Justin timidly rubbed the back of his neck as the words came out of his mouth again. “I…have decided that I’m going to do a solo album.”
“Are you planning on leaving the group?” she asked.
“No…no Harli, we’re on a break. You know that.”
“Yes. I know. Meaning you’re supposed to be on a break too if I’m not mistaken.”
“This is something I have wanted to do for a long time.” He stopped pacing and stared back at her. “Why do you have such a problem with it anyway? You don’t think it’ll do any good or something?”
“No Justin, I think if you did a solo album it would be amazing, that’s actually what I’m afraid of.”
“What do you mean?”
She stood up and took a deep breath. “I mean, what if you become even more successful as a solo artist than you are with *NSYNC? Who in their right minds would want to go back to a group after doing something like that? And if you decide not to go back, you would be highly affecting four other human beings…four people that I care about, probably as much as you do. And SECOND…”
“Okay hold up. First of all, The rest of the guys have other things they’re planning on doing too. Hello? Lance is going to space!”
“I wasn’t finished.” She said angrily. “And hello I know all about Lance and his bonehead space mission. I get to hear Sabrina complaining and spazzing out about it almost every single day.”
“Are you finished yet?”
“No. Second…I thought we were actually going to attempt to spend some time with each other during this so-called break. This is the reason why we’re having so many problems in the first place! Neither one of us has time to even be in a relationship!”
“So…I guess I’ll put my dreams and what I want on hold so that we’ll have time for our relationship…”
“That’s not what I meant Justin.”
“Oh but I’m not finished…” he said interrupting her. “In the meantime, Harli gets to stay in Hollywood because she’s on TV!”
“Am I supposed to leave my show?” she shouted. “Justin you’re not being fair!”
“You’re not either! I already have the offer from Jive to go ahead with this album. This may be my only chance, so I’m doing it. End of story.”
“Well…I’m not wasting my time, running from my home to yours and exhausting myself just to try to keep this non-existent relationship of ours working.” She said as she started up the stairs. “I’m going to get my things and going home.”
“What are you talking about Harli?” He said following after her. “Answer me! You’re leaving me because I want to do a solo album?”
“No. I’m leaving you because this is not working, and it HAS NOT been working because you’re in a popular music group and I’m on a popular TV show. The only way it will work is if we can spend some time together. Not at a promotional event, Not with cameras or reporters around us, Not through the phone or voice mail or email…Just you and me. And we WERE going to do that. Or at least, that’s what you had me believing.”
“But we can spend some time together, maybe not as long as you’re wanting to Harli…,
“I have a show to do Justin. End of story.”
02.10.03 8:00a.m.
Harli sat in a huge meeting room, along with her cast mates, the entire crew of the show, and a bunch of the head honchos from NBC that she didn’t even know. People were nervously shifting in their seats or fiddling with the pencils lying around on the table. No one seemed to know what the meeting was about, even though they all had their assumptions. Things were not going well at all with the show, and the grim looks on the head execs faces weren’t making Harli and her co-stars feel any better.
“We may as well get this meeting under way.” The man at the lower end of the table said. Harli had heard him introduce himself earlier but her brain was currently mush and she could hardly remember her own. “I’m sure you all are thinking the worst right about now, considering the problems and bad ratings we’ve been having with the show.”
“So subtle aren’t we?” Nicky muttered under his breath.
“I do want to say that on behalf of the National Broadcasting Company, we have enjoyed having this cast and crew as part of our family. But unfortunately, we can’t keep shows on forever. Now…’To Be With You’ has not been cancelled…but…” the man paused and glanced around the silent room. “We’re going to be putting the show on a short hiatus.”
“How short?” Justine asked.
“About four months, give or take…we’re going to try out a few other pilots and see how they do and we’ll just have to take it from there…”
“So basically,” Nicky spoke up. “The fate of our jobs depends on how badly these other shows suck?”
“Uh…I guess you could say it that way…” The man said nervously. “But even if the show is cancelled…. there’s always room for spin-offs or guest appearances…”
“Yeah, okay if that’s directed toward me, forget about it.” Nicky interrupted. His character had easily become the scene-stealer on the show and had become extremely popular because of it. “I’ve seen how most of your spin-offs turn out. So don’t even offer anything to me.” He said in disgust. “You take us all back or none of us.”
“Well…”the man replied, taken aback by his response. “I can say that I do respect your loyalty to your co-workers.” He said, turning back to face the rest of the room. “If we do decide to pick the show back up, we will be contacting you. Are there any questions?” he said while looking around the quiet room. “We will be re-running the shows for about four weeks and you’ll be paid your regular salaries until we make a final decision. If there are not any questions…” he paused and looked around. “This meeting is adjourned.”
Harli stood up in daze and walked slowly to her dressing room for what probably would be the last time. A cardboard box had conveniently been set inside for her to gather her belongings in. After picking up a few small things, she sat the box back down on the floor and pulled her cell phone from her pocket. Slowly she dialed the numbers, partially because she could hardly remember them. She cleared the numbers off the screen twice before finally dialing once again and pressing the ‘call’ button.
“Hello? Grandma? This is Harli.” She said smiling as her grandma replied back to her cheerfully. “I’m fine. I miss you too!” she said, trying to catch a word in. “Hey, hey grandma? I have a question…”
Ch.2