Chapter Five

Alex led Harli to the back entrance of the club. He knew walking through the front would be like trying to fight a losing battle, Claudia would spot them and make a huge deal out of nothing. He held onto her hand tightly as they walked through the dark hallway to his apartment. Her mind had been wandering for the past fifteen minutes now, wondering what he could possibly want to talk about. Whatever it was, it seemed to be something awfully bad. Harli knew there had to be a catch, the guy was just too perfect.  

"Have a seat." he said after unlocking the door and flipping on the light switch. "Want anything to drink?"

"No, I'm fine, thank you." She sat on the old couch in the middle of the room and sank down into the worn-out cushions. Alex walked over, popping open a can of soda for himself and sat in the recliner nearby. 

"You can sit over here." she smiled and moved over in her seat. "We are still on a date you know." 

"I'll just stay here." he moved the can from one hand to another as he tried to figure out where to begin. "I guess I kinda freaked you out a little earlier. You don't have to worry, I'm not a psycho or into drugs or anything like that." He looked up for a response, Harli only nodded and waited for him to continue. "Anyway, just wanted to reassure you there." He cleared his throat and sat the drink down on the table. He took a deep breath and looked up at her again. "I'm dyslexic." 

Harli blinked her eyes and still remained silent. That was it? That's was the huge problem? He had a learning disorder? "Is that it?" she said, then realizing that she sounded insensitive. "I mean, that's what was bothering you earlier? Did you think I would hold something against you over it, because I'm not going to. I wouldn't ever do that." 

"Not exactly." he said. "See, I have been able to treat it somewhat, so that I would be able to drive and do normal everyday things. Except, hold a public job. I've tried it before and I just can't do it. So...I'm drawing money because of it. I'm getting government money..., Social security, Disability...whatever you want to call it."

It finally sank in, Harli understood exactly what he was talking about. Most people of her financial status looked down people on welfare. But she had some first-hand experience with it, she knew Sabrina would have never made it raising Sierra and the twins on her own if it hadn't been for that. It was a good thing for the people in need of it, but unfortunately, too many take advantage of it. 

"So there you have it." he said after a few moments of silence. "If you want to leave now, you can. Its happened before. I've gotten used to it by now." 

"Leave? Why would I want to leave?"

"Why would you want to stay after all the things I've told you?" 

"Because I'm not concerned with those things. And it doesn't change how I feel about you." 

Alex stood up and walked over to now sit down beside her. "So you have feelings for me?" he grinned. Harli just laughed as her face blushed. 

"So what exactly is wrong with you?" she said trying to change the subject. "Forgive me, I don't know too much about dyslexia, its a type of learning disorder isn't it?" 

"You could call it that I guess. There's a lot of different types of it. Some people can't write, others can't read, and then you have some people that can do both things perfectly well. I kinda fall in the middle I guess. I can read well enough to get by. As far as driving goes, I pay more attention to the shape or color of the road signs than the actual words on them. I can write...fairly well, can't spell worth anything though, so it doesn't do me much good to know how to write." 

"What about other subjects, like Math. Were you ever any good at it?" 

"Yeah, that's the ironic thing. Math was always so easy for me. I was probably the only kid in Special Ed. that could do Calculus."

"Wow, that's just like this one boy I tutored in high school. He couldn't understand simple grammar, but Math was so easy for him." 

"Tutored hmm? I guess did pretty well in school." 

"I...I did okay..." she said biting her lip. 

"I'm sure you did better than just okay." he said. "See, you need some smart, rich guy to take care of you. You're too smart to end up with someone like myself...Not that we're ending up together...I just---was saying, I'll shut up." he reach for his can of soda quickly before he was able to let anything else slip. 

  "Yeah well, smart rich guys aren't all they're cracked up to be." she rested her arm against the back of the couch. Her hand was just in the right spot, so she reach over and laced her fingers through the curls that lay against his neck. He reach over and gently held onto her other hand. 

"I'm sorry he hurt you so badly." he whispered. 

"I've gotten over it." 

"No you haven't." he said looking into her eyes. "You can't be. You haven't let go yet. There's something you're still holding on to." 

How was he able to tell her exactly what she was feeling? Was the look on her face that obvious? "But we broke up, and I really honestly do not want to go back to him." 

"I didn't say you did. I just said you haven't completely let go yet." he leaned closer to her and brushed some hair out of her face. "And I don't want to go any farther until you do. Because I don't want to cause you any more pain than you're already going through. Understand?"  she nodded and ran her fingers through his hair once more before he leaned back to his end of the couch. She understood completely what he meant. She knew she was going to have to let go of her past in order to go forward with this. Now all she had to do was figure out exactly how to do that.

He drove her home about an hour and a half later. The tension that was there earlier was long gone and they were able to relax and enjoy the rest of their time together. Harli slipped in the door a few minutes past midnight, afraid that she may wake up her grandmother, she quietly shut the door and slowly walked toward the stairs when she noticed the light on in the kitchen. 

"You're home early." 

"It's midnight Grandma." she said confused while walking into the other room. 

"Oh, it is isn't it. Well I'm just used to Claudia's schedule I guess." she said laying her book down on the kitchen table. "Have a seat dear, tell me how it went." 

"Really well, I had a nice time. I think he did too." 

"That's good, I'm glad. He's such a nice young man. And very helpful with the farm." 

"Yeah he told me that you help him out a lot too." 

"Well I know how it is to live on his income, unfortunately he has to at such a young age. Its a shame that they can't do more for him with his problem." She stopped and looked over at Harli. "I'm guessing he told you." 

"Yeah, he did." 

"He always wants to get it out in the open when he meets someone, I guess so that it doesn't embarrass him later on. But he has nothing to be embarrassed about, its not his fault." she said while folding over the page she was reading in her book and closing it. "I keep telling him, its all in God's plan. And He doesn't make mistakes." 

Harli nodded, while her eyes stayed focused on the cover of the book. Her grandmother always loved to read, anything from romance novels to suspense. She loved getting all caught up in a wonderful story, and always encouraged her and Claudia to read and to use their imaginations. "So, what's this one about?" she said while sliding the paperback toward her. 

"The usual." she smiled. "A young girl going through trial after trial in her life, and then finally, against all odds, she comes out on top in the end." 

"Your favorite kind." Harli said while reading the back cover. 

"Stories like that are so inspirational. They show you that anything is possible with just a little bit of confidence and a whole lot of faith. Hard times don't last forever, eventually you're going to pull through and things will be just fine." 

"Yeah, that's very true." she said while handing the book back to her. "Well I think I'm going to let you get back to reading. I'll probably go to bed in a little while." 

"Okay dear, Oh I almost forgot." she said getting up. "PJ called, she said for you to call her when you got in, it didn't matter what time." 

She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead in annoyance. “You just had to remember didn't you?" 

"Now Harli." she said while handing her the phone. "Don't make your sister do all your dirty work for you." 

"I know I know..." she sighed while dialing the phone and waited for PJ to pick up. 

"Nice time to be getting in sis, its what? After midnight there?" 

"Yeah but I was just procrastinating calling you." She joked.

"Figures." she said back. "Did you know you had an interview this morning?" 

"Uh...Yeah I kinda remembered that earlier..." 

"Well you can kinda call them and explain to them tomorrow why you weren't able to make it." 

"I will, I've got the number, I'm sorry." 

"Its okay, I didn't get yelled at too much. You also have boo coos of people calling wanting to know what you're doing now that the show's been cancelled." 

"What'd you tell them?" 

"That if they didn't have a role to offer you it wasn't any of their business what you were doing, add in a few choice words here and there." 

"PJ You didn't!" 

"Well it isn't, is it? I actually had a few to offer you roles after I said that. They're needing someone to play a hot babysitter on Baby Bob."

"The show with the talking baby?" she asked, unenthused. 

"Exactly." 

"Yeah...I'll keep that in mind." 

"Sounds like you're doing better just being a normal person, you had a date tonight?" 

"Yeah."

"Well...?" 

"He's just a guy PJ. He helps grandma out with the farm work." 

"Wow, talk about someone's preferences changing." 

"He also sings at Claudia's club, we went there last night and he asked me out." 

"Ah..okay, I get it now. He sings. You had me worried for a minute there." 

 "I didn't know he sang when I first met him. He's a really sweet guy. And....he's originally from England." she said smiling, knowing PJ's love for British guys. She was surrounded by them when she worked in the theatre in New York. 

"England?" she said almost squealing. "So he has an accent." 

"Yep, you'd love it." 

"KEEP him Harli, For God's sake don't let this one go!" Her sister yelled while Harli burst out laughing. "Have him call me and read the phone book to me!" 

"You're pathetic." 

"No I'm not, I'm just all excited...because there's another reason why I'm calling..." she paused to calm herself down a little. "I got a call from Broadway today; they want me back. To direct this time." 

"Direct a Broadway play? PJ that's amazing!" 

"Yeah I know. And I thought, well since you're on this little break..." 

"Yes, go don't let me stop you. This is your dream." 

"But I'm your manager Harli. What are you going to do when you come back. I don't want you to get into another mess with someone you can't trust." 

"Well..." she paused and pondered her thoughts. "I may not be coming back. So you have nothing to worry about." 

"What? You've been gone two or three days and., that’s it? You're quitting?" 

"I...I haven't made a final decision yet. Right now, I don't want to. I'm enjoying having a normal life too much." 

"But Harli this is your dream. You always wanted to be an actress. And now that you are one, you're going to leave." 

"Its not as glamorous as I thought it was going to be. Nobody wants me for anything right now. All I am as far as Hollywood is concerned is 'Justin Timberlake's ex'."

"But that'll blow over in time. Celebrities get pigeon holed all the time, the good ones eventually get past it. I think you'd be able to also."

"Yeah well like I said, I've not made a decision yet."

"So what do you want me to do about the house? I'll be leaving in a couple of weeks week."

"I don't know yet, I'll try to figure something out and let you know before you leave."  

For the next few days, Harli spent every moment she could with Alex. She didn't know how long she was going to have to stay in California once she went back. She still wasn't even completely sure about what she was going to do. Her trip to Alabama was only meant to be a small vacation away from her busy and stressful celebrity life. But in just a matter of days, her vacation was turning more into a life-altering event. Was she actually willing to give up this dream she had worked so hard to fulfill..., for a normal life? 

One morning after breakfast, She and Claudia were washing their dishes. Their grandmother had left to visit some friends and Alex had gotten there early to work in the garden, only stopping to come in and eat quickly before going back outside. 

"Have you told him yet?" Claudia asked while her cousin stared dreamily out the window. "Earth to Harli...Yo!" 

"He's so pretty." 

"Adorable. Have you told him yet?" 

"Told him what? That I'm leaving?" 

"Either that or who you really are, OR that you used to date a fifth of *NSYNC...I could go on." 

She sighed and stared down at the dish she was scrubbing on. "No...no and no." 

"Are you...planning on doing this? Maybe sometime before the poor boy proposes." 

"I'm going to tell him everything when I come back. I just wanted to be perfectly sure of what I was doing before leaping into something." 

"So, what are you doing exactly?" 

"I'm selling my house." 

A glass plopped into the rinse water. "Oh thank you for letting that be plastic, You are what??" 

"I called my realtor yesterday morning. He said he should have a buyer by the time I go back" 

"Where are you going to live?" 

"Here until I can find a place. I already talked it over with grandma." 

"Why didn't she tell me??" 

"Because she can keep a secret." 

"I see where you get it from." she mumbled. "So, that's it. You're selling that gorgeous mansion in Hollywood and...coming to live here. Hicksville, USA." 

"I know it sounds crazy..." 

"It sounds INSANE! You've not even known the guy two weeks Harli!" 

"He's not the only reason. I want to live here. Its peaceful. My life has been nothing but stress covered in stress for the past few years. I need fresh air and..., trees and stuff."

"So if you move out here and then things don't turn out between you and Alex, You'll be okay with that because you have trees?" 

Harli rolled her eyes. "Claudia..." 

"Well...?" 

"I don't know. I don't have all the answers. But right now I feel like this is what I need to do. It may not sound like the most rational thing in the world but," she shrugged her shoulders, "Its what I'm doing."   

"I guess all I can say is good luck then." Claudia said as they continued to wash the remainder of the dishes in silence. They were almost finished when she looked over at her. "Has he told you...about, his problem?" 

"He told me on our first date. And it doesn't bother me one bit. He's a wonderful guy, I'm not concerned with how much money he makes...or doesn't make." 

"Is that why you haven't told him about 'the real you'?" 

"Maybe." she replied quietly. "He already acts like he's not good enough for me. I don't know what's going to happen when I tell him. I know the longer I wait, the harder its going to be. I just hope he understands." 

"I think he will. He may be a little shocked when you tell him but, with a little bit of time I think he'll come to understand it all." 

Harli nodded and stared back out the window at him. A smile crept up on her face as she almost started to laugh. "You know, I can't help but wonder...As boy-crazy as you are and as hot as Alex is..." 

"Oh Lord." Claudia said dramatically. "Just don't go there...It happened, it didn't work." 

She burst out laughing. "Seriously? When?" 

"We were in high school, senior year. See, he first came here through a foreign exchange program..."

"Stop!!" Harli's eyes grew wide as she yelled and then ran into the hallway. "I know I seen a prom picture here somewhere!" She searched the wall of framed portraits in the hallway until her eyes finally laid on the one she was looking for. She squealed as Claudia slowly made her way over to where she was at. "Awww, You two look so cute...well actually, you look kinda pissed..." 

"And like I said, it didn't work! We argued ten times more then than we do now. Grandma swears we had to be separated at birth to disagree as much as we do." 

"Then, why'd you go to the prom with him?" 

Claudia turned to walk back into the kitchen. "Hey we may not get along, but I'm not blind you know. He was hot." 

"He's still hot." Harli smiled.

"Yeah well he's your hottie now." she said shaking her head. "Defiantly not mine, thank goodness." 

Harli reached into the refrigerator and pulled out a pitcher of iced tea. “I think I’ll go take him some tea, want some?”

“No thank you.” She said drying her hands off and letting the water drain out of the sink. “I’m going to take a nap before getting ready for tonight I guess.”

“Okay.” she closed the refrigerator back and turned to see her grandmother coming in. "Hey grandma." 

"Hello dear." she said back sadly. 

Harli looked over at her concerned. "Are you all right? Is everything okay?" 

"Oh I'm fine dear, I just heard some bad news." she said while sitting down at the table. "Mr. Henderson from down the street just passed away. Had a heart attack last night." 

"Oh no that's horrible grandma! He was such a sweet man." 

She nodded. "I wasn't sure if you remembered him, but I had forgot about you and Claudia being friends with his granddaughters." 

"Yeah we used to go over there all the time." she smiled. "I always loved his house, looked just like a cabin." They both stopped and stared at each other for a few seconds. 

"You know Harli...his daughter Julie, she was saying that she and the rest of the kids were going to sell the place, since they all live out of state now..." Harli quickly grabbed a pen and notepad off the counter. 

"That's my realtor's name and number. Tell her that I'll make sure they get more than what they're asking for it." 

Her grandmother smiled and took the paper from her. "I'll be sure to let her know as soon as I can. See Harli I told you." 

"Told me what?" she said getting up. 

"That its all in God's plan. I told you. If this isn't, I don't know what is." 

She smiled as she picked up the glass of tea. "Well, now I know I'm not making a mistake." 

She walked across the field, smiling, almost beaming to herself. Thinking about how things were falling into place so easily. It just couldn't have worked out any better. She felt a sense of relief come over her, especially when his eyes met her own and he smiled back at her. 

"You're an angel." he said, shutting down the motor of the tractor and taking the glass from her. 

"I just thought you may be getting a little thirsty out here." 

"Its already smoldering hot out here." he said looking down at her and grinning when he saw her face. "What are you so happy about?" 

"Just...something." 

"Like what?" 

"I don't want to tell you just yet." 

"Ohh, I like surprises." he said while jumping down to the ground. Harli bit her lip and wondered just how true that was. 

"Yeah well, I also have something I need to tell you right now..." 

He wrapped his arms around her waist. "What is it?" His eyes studied her expression. "You can tell me." 

"I need to go home for a few days." 

"Oh..." he backed away a bit. "How long?" 

"I'm not sure...but it won't be too long. And I'll be coming back." she said, attempting to smile. 

"Why do you have to go?" 

"Just to take care of some things. My sister is house-sitting for me right now and she's leaving town for a job in a couple weeks so...I gotta, get some stuff taken care of." 

He turned his glass up and drank the rest of the tea. "Well I guess a few days won't be too bad, I think I'll survive." 

"Good because I don't think I will." she said back sadly. 

He leaned over and hugged her close to him. "In that case, just take me with you." 

"Uh..." she stammered while trying to figure a way out of this one. "Well um..."

"I'm just kidding love." he laughed. "I'll be okay. When are you leaving?" 

"Probably Friday." 

"This Friday?" 

"Yeah." she nodded and held onto both his hands. "I'm going to miss you." 

"Good, it'll make you come back sooner." 

"I'll be back as soon as I can, I promise." 

"I'll be waiting." he smiled down at her and touched the side of her face before slowly leaned down to give her a kiss...before she stopped him. 

"What happened to not wanting to get too serious?" she asked. He laughed and pulled back away from her. 

"Fine." he shrugged. "Have it your way." 

She grabbed his shirt collar and pulled him back her way. "I was only asking a question." 

"Look...I can't explain it. I know we need to take things slow but it seems like things are going at lightning speed and well...I kinda like it. I know it sounds crazy but I think I---" she stopped him before he could even say it. As soon as he started to say that 'L' word, she placed her lips on his and kissed him. He pulled back, practically out of breath and smiled. "...really like you." 

"Oh. Sorry...." she said, now embarrassed. " I thought you were going to say something else." 

"No." he sighed. "I'm afraid I may jinx it if I said that." 

"I think so too." 

"But...if you ever want to stop me from saying anything else again...." he said smiling evilly. 

"I'll keep that in mind." she smiled back 

"Well I better get back to work." he said hugging her tightly once again. She hugged him back and picked up the glass to take back inside. "Don't worry Renee." he called out as she walked away. "I'll be right here when you come back down."