FOR A PIONEER'S HUSBAND

When a young man gets married
He gets much advice
From friends who
Hope things work out nice

But here and now, I'd like to say
That's not the only time
When knowing what's ahead of you
Is worth more than a dime

Another most exciting day and
One you'll long remember,
Is when your wife to pioneer
Began this warm September

And so I'd like to clue you in,
Tell you what to expect
From living with a pioneer
There are things you don't suspect.

As new recipes she'll test
She's looking for a meal that cooks
In thirty minutes or less

Be sure your shirts are wash and wear
For ironing there is no time
The only attention they will recieve
Is to keep them free from grime.

Did you wash my socks today?
"They are somewhere in the drawer
Can you wear the purple ones?
I didn't get home until four.

The errand that you sent her on
She really meant to do
But a call on Mrs. Interested
Was important too.

The territory you planned to work,
This weekend with the group
She finished it Wednesday! It's all done!
But there is no need to droop.

Not-at-homes, carefully written
Are yours to use in abundance
The houses with the dogs she saved for you
To reach the door is a fun dance.

And, oh, the calls she will have for you
To go on are a dream
If they are home when you get there
You'll be surprised enough to scream.

Your gasoline bill will increase
But then you will also see
The smile on her face, it is always there.
A happy wife she'll be.

Ane you will find yourself
After a wearyng day
Just waiting to hear
What she will have to say

"I met a woman today
Who thinks the earth is flat
Can you believe a church would teach
Something like that?"

"The disgusting thing that Daniel fortold
Was fulfilled by women who became so bold
As to stop wearing dresses and begin wearing shorts,
The lady who said so didn't care too much for sport/P>

"A new name for God I learned today
It came from Sunday School teacher
His name is "hallowed"! That's what she said.
She learned it from her preacher.

"I started a new Bible study today."
Will become a familiar greeting
"We have to leave early tonight
She wants to go to the meeting.

And the demonstration you haven't prepared yet
Who can you ask on late notice?
Probably she will do it for you
Only when you ask her. Dont't quote us.

Where you busy after the meeting
No literature for service?
There's a box bull in her closet
No need to be nervous.

A pioneer wife is a happy wife
And when you help her do it
She thinks you are the greatest man
And you'll be glad. Don't rue it.

So take this advice
I've told you the facts
And a pioneer's expenses
Reduce you income tax.