Understanding that your position is vacant.
I should like to apply for the position.
I have many qualifications which
I think you would appreciate.
I have been blessed to preach, and have had
some success as a writer. Some say that I am
a good organizer. Some folks, however,
have something against me. I am over fifty years
of age, and I have never preached
at any one place over three years at a time.
In some places I have left town after my work
has caused riots and disturbances.
I have to admit that I have been in
jail three or four times, but not
because of any wrongdoing on my part.
My health is not good, although
I will get a good deal done. At times I
have had to work at my trade to help pay my way.
The churches I have preached in have been small,
although located in several large cities.
I have not gotten along too well with the
religious leaders in the different areas where
I have preached. In fact, some have threatened
me and taken me to court, and even
attacked me physically. I am not good at keeping
records, and I have been known to forget
whom I have baptized. However, if you can use me,
I shall do my best for you even if I have
to work to help with my support.

The elder read the letter to the committee and asked
if they were interested. Their reply was that
they were "not at all interested in an unhealthy,
contentious, trouble-making, absent-minded,
ex-jail bird" and they were insulted to think
that he would ever apply for the position.
"By the way," they asked, "Just what is
the name of this applicant?"
The elder replied, "The Apostle Paul."