A long time coming -- Trey

by Elgatoneun (elgatoneun@yahoo.com)

Title: A Long Time Coming - Trey
Author: elgatoneun
Rating: R for graphic language and implied m/m sexual relations
Pairing: Implied Seth/Ryan
Summary: Ryan visits his brother in prison. Seth goes with him.
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me.
Spoilers: Everything up to and including The Girlfriend.
Feedback: Would be appreciated
Notes: This is a slight future fic, will most likely be AU. It takes places in the summer after Ryan’s first year with the Cohens. This is the third part of a multi-chapter fic. It actually takes place temporally between the first and second chapter but is third in the series.

Clink. Clink. Clink.

The chains between his ankles were dragging noisily. It was cold and the corridor stank. It was a combination of mildew and the chemical industrial cleanser they used. That shit was strong. It had burned and peeled layers off his skin the first couple of weeks he had been here.

The guard prodded him along, not roughly but forceful all the same. Ramos wasn’t that bad. He was one of the decent guards. Not like some of the sadistic bastards roaming around here.

They got to the first security gate, double locks. Click. Click. The heavy gate of the barred door slid open.

Trey Atwood has never made this trek before. He’s never had visitors in the year and two months that he has been here. He was surprised when he was told that his little brother was coming to see him.

He’s had a lot of time to think, about the past and about the future. He’s tried to imagine all the things he could have done differently. His outcome doesn’t change much. He knew since he was fourteen years old that he’d probably end up in the joint, or at least doing some time. It sucked, but with a father like his, it was pretty much his fate. His fate, but not Ryan’s. Ryan was too smart for that, too good for it. He used to resent that. Having his little brother helping him with his homework when they were kids. They’d be sitting at the kitchen table, his mom washing up the dinner dishes and his dad watching a game in the living room. It hadn’t been so bad then.

Then his father had gotten laid off at the plant. Four months later they moved. That was the first in a series of moves. How many schools had he gone to in those five years? It was a blur. He had never done very well in school. He had always struggled. The constant moving just let him get further and further behind, until he had basically given up. Not Ryan though, at least, not until their last move. Not until Chino. He’d always been real smart, a target for other kids. But Trey watched out for his little brother and taught him how to take care of himself, that’s what big brothers did.

But Ryan didn’t need him. He hadn’t really ever needed anyone, not since that one night. The night they learned their dad had been picked up by the cops.

He felt another prod at his shoulder. Ramos was gesturing to a chair at one of the visitation booths. He sat down. It was small and it was just like how it was on TV. There were half partitions on each side to give the illusion of privacy. He was separated from his visitor by thick glass and they would have to talk through telephone receivers.

He had never had visitors. His friends weren’t going to get anywhere near a prison unless they had to. Well, a couple of them were already in lock up. Rusty had already been here for six months when he’d first transferred here. And forget his mom, she’d given up on him a long time ago. Hell, she’d kicked him out of the house when he was sixteen.

Trey saw Ryan then, saw him enter the room with another boy. They were talking; Ryan hadn’t seen him yet. Ryan looked the same, but different. He wore different clothes, rich clothes, and he walked differently. The other boy nudged him toward the booths. Ryan looked at him then. His expression gave nothing away.

Trey watched as his brother sat down. Ryan had grown up some. He looked like a man now. Ryan picked up the phone; Trey did the same.

"Hey," was the first static-laden word he had heard from his brother in over a year.

"Hey. How you been? You look good." Trey felt nervous for some reason. Ryan didn’t answer him right away.

"I’m okay. How about you? You doing okay … in there?"

"Yeah. Uh, so you seen Mom at all?"

"No."

"Well, I heard Pop’s doing okay up in …"

"I don’t care what he’s been doing." Ryan interrupted. Yup, same old Ryan, unforgiving and hard. Stubborn, too.

Silence stretched between them. He looked at his little brother. Felt the accusation burning up Ryan from the inside. It was always this way. Mad at him for fucking up. But, Ryan was always golden. He didn’t understand that people fucked up. And in their family, people fucked up a lot.

Ryan always expected too much. Wanted too much. The thing was he never let it out, never told you so. It was always this heavy silent judgment. His eyes filled with disappointment. He knew his mom and dad felt it too. It was weird when they were kids and Ryan always acted more like the parent or the older brother.

It was hard knowing that you couldn’t live up to his expectations. There would be mornings when he would stumble home in the mornings and breakfast would be on the table. Ryan cooking up eggs and whatever else they had to make something decent. He’d wolf down whatever it was because he couldn’t cook worth shit. He’d see his mom walk in the kitchen, already with a morning cigarette. She’d look at Ryan and her face would harden just a bit. Trey saw it and he knew Ryan saw it. But Ryan never understood. It took Trey a while to work it out, but again, when you’ve got nothing to do but think, you dwell on the past and try to figure stuff out. For being such a smart kid, Ryan never got it. He never understood her.

Every time Ryan got up and did his own laundry or cooked breakfast made their mom feel more like a failure. Trey knew Ryan just wanted to help out. His brother always thought that if he could just help their mom out a little, she could get herself back on track. He didn’t realize that she was just one of those women that needed to be needed. That was just how she was, why she shacked up with all those losers. Because she needed someone to take care of, even if he treated her like shit.

"So that family that adopted you, they treating you okay?" Ryan looked surprised, and a little suspicious.

"How do you know about that?"

"That lawyer’s wife, the mom, she writes to me about you, about once a month. She tells me what you’ve been doing. She said you have a girlfriend and that you’re on the soccer team." Ryan relaxed a little bit.

"Yeah. They’re good people."

"So you talked to anybody?" Ryan gave him a blank look.

"You know, Junior, Marko or Lupe? Anybody?" Ryan shook his head no.

Trey didn’t know why he was surprised. But he was.

"You should call Lupe. She wrote to me once … about you. Wanted to know how you were doing. Where you were. Shit like that." Lupe had been into Ryan. Trey didn’t know how Ryan felt about her. He and Junior used to dog Ryan about it all the time. Well, Junior used to threaten, since nobody messed with Junior’s baby sister.

"Yeah, maybe." Trey knew Ryan wasn’t going to call. Ryan had always held himself apart. He wasn’t tight with anybody. Never let anybody get close.

"You know Rusty is in here? Eight to ten for robbery, parole in five, maybe. Didn’t I always tell you he was a dumb shit? I fucking told him he should’ve pleaded and he would have gotten reduced, but he never listens. He said Jerry got shot a couple months ago, got his kneecap bust in some kind of police shootout. Jerry hooked himself up with a good lawyer and got $600 grand from the county. Lucky bastard."

"That’s cool." Ryan was starting to piss him off. It usually took two people to have a decent conversation. He didn’t know why Ryan came if he wasn’t going to talk.

"So how come you haven’t come to see me before?"

"I wrote to you, you never wrote back. I figured you didn’t want to see me." Ryan shrugged as if it didn’t matter.

"We’re family, for fuck’s sake, of course I want to see you. Christ, if you’re pissed off at me, just have the balls to say it, but don’t fucking say stupid ass shit like that."

"Okay. I’m not mad. I just didn’t think you’d want to see me. It’s not like we were going to see a lot of each other anyway." Ryan looked at him, carefully controlled expression on his face.

Shit. He couldn’t believe Ryan was still pissed off about Chicago.

"Look, Ryan, I had a hookup. It was my chance, okay? And I would have sent for you as soon as I got my shit together. I told you that."

"Trey, I’m not mad. You needed to do what was right for you. You had an opportunity. I get it."

His brother had the perfect poker face except for the eyes. Even now they were hard and flinty. Ryan turned his head suddenly. Trey looked up to see the kid that had come in with Ryan head on over to them. Ryan must have been looking at him from the reflection on the glass to notice him so quickly.

The kid jogged up to them, he was bouncy and fidgety. Trey got annoyed just looking at him. He leaned down to Ryan and said something in Ryan’s ear. He was leaning in really close.

Ryan used his left hand to cover the mouthpiece. The kid said something else. Ryan shook his head no. His hair was actually touching the kid’s face, that’s how fucking close he was. The kid kept talking; Trey never saw anybody’s mouth move that fast before. Him and Ryan used to beat up kids like that.

The kid turned to look at him and smiled. Ryan turned back to Trey, too. But he didn’t smile. Trey was confused. The kid was talking to him. But he couldn’t hear a damn thing; Ryan put the phone back up to his ear.

"His name is Beth?" That’s all he could make out. Ryan laughed. The kid turned to Ryan, curious. That was different, Ryan didn’t laugh, at least not that he remembered.

"No, Seth. His name is Seth." Ryan was smiling. He cuffed the kid affectionately on the shoulder.

"Is he the son?"

"Yeah, I thought you said you knew." Ryan gave him a suspicious look, as if he thought Trey might have lied to him earlier.

"Oh, well, the lady, Mrs. Cohen, she just writes about you." Trey figured she felt like she had to tell him about Ryan, but didn’t want some con to know anything about her family. Probably felt safer that way. She was right, it was the smart thing to do.

Trey glanced up. The kid was still smiling. He looked like a real friendly sort. He said something else Trey couldn’t understand. He didn’t read lips; he wasn’t fucking deaf. Trey looked at the gangly brown-haired kid who stuck his hand out then, as if offering to shake … through the fucking plate glass between them. He stared at the kid hard. The kid pulled his hand back. Trey turned his attention back to Ryan.

"Tell him to stop fucking smiling at everything. This ain’t the fucking petting zoo."

"Be cool, Trey." Ryan turned to the kid and said something. The kid nodded solemnly and left to stand by the exit. He pulled a comic out of his pocket and began to read. They definitely used to beat up kids like that.

"So, he give you a ride here or something?"

"Yeah, but he wanted to come. He wanted to meet you."

"What the hell for?" Fucking rich kids got nothing but time to waste.

"He’s my friend." Ryan said the words slowly, cautiously, as if he were testing them out.

"And anyway, I’m taking him to Ashes for lunch." Motherfucker. Trey immediately pictured huge, delicious slabs of ribs with meat so tender it practically jumped off the bone. He hadn’t been to Ashes since fucking forever it seemed like. Damn.

Ashes was the best thing about living in Chino. It was the absolute best barbeque joint in the Inland Empire, maybe the state. The sign on the door said "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, we’ll fill your belly ‘til it goes bust." And it was true. Everything was huge; they cooked the meat on grills and spits outside. They had big ass onion rings that could fit around your neck. Shit, he was getting hungry. And kind of horny. Fuck. Ashes was always the best place to test drive new chicks. The good ones sucked the meat right off the bones, with a lot of tongue action that made him feel it all the way down to his balls. With the good ones, he was hard halfway through dinner. And he knew it wasn’t going to go nowhere if a girl just picked at the food, trying to use a fork all girly and shit. In fact, he made it a point to share his Ashes test with Ryan, had told him that’s how you knew you had a winner.

But he didn’t take his friends there. It was a little pricey. Green got spent on your ride, your woman or business. Friends could eat cheap. Ryan usually didn’t take his friends there either. Not because Ryan was tight, but because Ryan didn’t have close buds.

"You’re taking him to Ashes?" Ryan looked defensive.

If there was one thing Trey knew, it was that Ryan didn’t make friends. Not like that anyway. That had always been his problem. He held himself off, like he was too good for everybody. Junior and his crew never really took him in. Ryan was a cold bastard. He only ever watched, observed, as if he was one of those fucking scientists studying wild animals on those nature shows. He was too much of a loner, in the truest sense of the word. Because Ryan didn’t trust anybody. He took a closer look at Ryan, looked at his closed face and hard expression. Aw, shit.

"Ryan, you listen to me. You got a good thing, don’t fuck it up."

"I’m not going to …" Ryan looked startled and sounded resentful.

"Don’t bullshit me. Didn’t I teach you anything?"

"Yeah, how not to boost a car."

Smart-ass little shit.

"Listen to me, Ryan. You don’t shit where you eat. You got that?"

"Yeah, thanks for the nice visual."

"Goddammit! You keep your fucking dick in your pants and your hands off."

"Shit! Trey! Keep your voice down! The whole damn prison can hear you." Ryan glanced worriedly at the kid.

"You think his parents are going to keep you around when they find out you’re fucking him? You think his mama is going to thank you for that? What the fuck were you thinking? Answer me, goddammit!" Ryan fixed him with a steely gaze. Trey waited him out. Ryan finally sighed.

"Look, I’m not, I’m not … fucking him, okay?" Ryan’s face scrunched up as if he found the whole thing distasteful. Jesus, his baby brother was turning into a pussy.

Trey took another look at the rich kid. He was tall and skinny, average body, wouldn’t last one minute on the inside. But he was pretty and delicate. Shit, he had cock sucking lips. And he had the perfect length hair, where you could just grab hold and start …

"Trey? Trey!" Ryan was banging on the window with his fist. He looked pretty pissed off.

"Alright, alright, don’t get all worked up about it."

"Since when do we even talk about this kind of stuff?"

"I’ve been locked up with 500 guys for 14 months. When the hell you think?" he broke off at Ryan’s stricken expression. This time Trey sighed.

"Look, it’s not so bad, it’s just different. So I can appreciate the nice piece you got over there, but – "

Ryan interrupted him, "Don’t talk about him like that."

"Fine. Look, you got a lucky break. That family taking you in like that, what is that, like a million to one, or something?"

Ryan looked at him mutely.

"This is your one chance. The only fucking Atwood to get one. Don’t fuck it up because of some rich kid who is gonna toss you out the next day like the fucking trash."

"Seth isn't like that. The whole situation isn’t like that. The Cohen’s, they’re really good to me. They take care of me."

"Ryan, you take a look at that boy. Take a good look. Do you think that kid is going to love you, that you’re not just some kind of charity case? Some kind of experiment? That type of people, they’re different. They don’t think like you and me. You aren’t a real person to them." Trey knew Ryan didn’t want to listen.

"They’re not like that. They treat me like … like family, like I matter. Seth wouldn’t ever do that to me." Trey shot him a penetrating look. He never saw that look on Ryan’s face before. Totally open, totally vulnerable. Shit, it was too late already. Fuck. As much as Ryan pissed him off, he didn’t want to see his little brother get hurt. And all he saw was heartache and pain in Ryan’s future, if he ever ended up having a future.

"Are you sure?" Ryan didn’t look at him.

"Yes …, no …, I don’t know, maybe." Ryan hadn’t changed that much. Still didn’t trust. Which was good in this case.

"Ryan, he’s just a kid. He’s playing around. When it’s over, where are you gonna go?" Trey needed to make sure Ryan didn’t mess up his one way out of a shitty life going nowhere. It was the least he could do for his brother.

"Okay, maybe he really does like you. And maybe it would be good for a while. But he’s from a totally different place. You can’t tell me you fit in over there." He had to make Ryan see sense.

Ryan didn’t argue.

"Look, be his friend, his brother, whatever. But don’t mess around with him. That’s just gonna fuck everything up. You’re fucking seventeen. You want to fuck everything that moves. Just keep it in your pants. Get an education and get a real future out of this deal. Then you can fuck whoever the hell you want. Just keep cool for now."

"Is that it?" Ryan asked coolly, as if Trey had been talking about nothing. Fuck, no wonder Ryan got into so many fights. He had a natural talent at pissing people off.

"Just think about it, okay? You’re supposed to be the smart one."

Trey felt a poke from behind. It was Ramos. His time was up. He looked back at Ryan.

"I gotta go." Ryan was silent for a long time. Trey gave up. He started to get up. Ryan’s voice stopped him.

"Hey, Trey?"

"Yeah?"

"Uh, make sure you ask the guard for your ten."

"What?" Trey was confused.

"I, well, Seth, um, the both of us, we brought you some packs. Seth watched these old prison movies and said we should bring you some. He smuggled them in and bribed the guard. Ten Marlboros, ten Lucky Strikes and two Dunhills, in case anybody likes the fancy stuff. We’ll bring you some more next time."

Trey was touched. Smokes. It was as good as money. Ryan was a good brother.

"Next time?" Trey didn’t want to hope.

Ryan ducked his head a little.

"Yeah, if you want." The words came out mumbled and rushed. Trey felt a rush of happiness and something else settle in his chest. He took an unsteady breath.

"Yeah, that would be cool."

He smiled at his little brother.

And his little brother smiled back.

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