One Lonely Fan

Part One

Dear Hanson,

I just bought a ticket for your show this summer in Boston and I suddenly felt compelled to put down some of my thoughts on paper. I put on Middle of Nowhere today, and it evoked so many emotions in me that I wouldn't have thought possible.

Do you read these letters anymore? I don't even know if I have the right address. All I know is that I have to tell you how I feel. Strange enough, a large part of me feels like I'm writing to an old friend, which in a way you are.

I've seen you twice in concert already, but this will be the first time I'll be there without Liz. It's been two months since she died, but almost two years since she ceased to exist in my life. It was a terrible ordeal to lose my best friend of nineteen years, yet she had been gone from me for so long already.

I won't bore you with all the gory details, yet I feel you must know what a large part all three of you played in my life. Maybe you didn't change my life, but you made the darkest time of my life so much more bearable.

From the bottom of my heart I thank you for being there, even without being there physically. The depressed thirteen-year-old I was had nothing to live for at that time but you. I'll never forget you and I am sincerely looking forward to taking a trip through memory lane by again watching you perform live.

One Lonely Fan,
Missy

****

Dear Missy.

I haven't read a fan letter in almost three years. I don't know what possessed me to read yours, but I'm infinitely grateful to whatever force tossed that letter in my bag.

Who are you? This complete stranger that has entered my life in the strange and unlikely way. Tell me more about yourself. Feel free to bore me with the gory details. Essentially it's up to you, but I would be honored if you would write me again, this time to my personal post office box I usually reserve for family.

You call yourself one lonely fan, yet I cannot imagine anyone who could feel more alone that I do. Have you ever felt alone in the middle of a crowded room?

It seems everyone in my family is more content in their lives than I am. Take Taylor for instance. He has a wife and a beautiful son, both of whom he's deliriously happy with. Am I jealous? Absolutely. I want someone to love me that way, someone to have babies with. WE chose a life in the limelight, yet I feel like I'm the only one who is affected by it anymore.

Please write me back. For a brief second while reading your letter, I felt like I had found "a kindred soul".

An Equally Lonely Man,
Isaac Hanson

****

Dear Isaac,

I can't describe the surprise I felt when seeing your name on the return address of that letter. I actually let out a giggle of which I doubt has left my mouth since I was sixteen. Who would have thought it? I sure didn't.

Since you asked, I'll tell you a little about Liz. Not too much though, because I could fill a thousand letters with all I know about her.

From birth we were the best of friends. Our love for Hanson is only one of the many things we shared over the years. We loved each other to death, spending every second of our spare time together. We probably still would, were she still here.

You see, Liz was born with Cystic Fibrosis. Her doctors predicted that she wouldn't make it to her fifth birthday, but if you'd known Liz you also would have known that she'd prove them wrong. Instead she made it until her nineteenth birthday, proving everyone but me wrong. Even when I was a little girl I knew that she would live. I knew that she would make it to be eighteen, simply because she said she would. Liz always succeeded in what she wanted.

I suppose most of all I wish she were here see who I've just gotten a letter from. Then again, if she was, I don't suppose I would have written to you in the first place. All the same, thank you for asking about her. Nobody does anymore.

A Less Lonely Fan,
Missy

****

Dear Missy,

Liz sounds like she was a wonderful person. I'm always surprised to see the lists of how many of our fans have cystic fibrosis, and shocked to see how many have lost their fight with the disease. I've been contributing to the CF research funds for years.

I'm not saying that to butter you up, though. Instead I'm merely trying to get to know you, and the only way I can think of to do that is to tell you about myself. Unfortunately, you probably know more about me than I do. Hopefully you only believe the good things.

I think it's only fair, that since you obviously know what I look like, that you should send me a picture of myself. I'd like to be able to see who I'm talking to. I'd like to see one of Liz also, if you have one you're willing to part with. I want her memory to live on more than just in your memory. I want her to live on in mine too.

Is it crazy to feel this close to you?

Your Confused New Friend,
Isaac Hanson

****

Dear Isaac,

I've enclose two pictures in this letter, both chosen with careful consideration. The first is of Liz and I three years ago. This is how I try and remember Liz, this happy healthy girl. She fell into a coma a year after that, in which she remained until her death. I visited her often, but I found myself closing my eyes and picturing this Liz while I was there. This is how I want you to know her.

The second is a snapshot that my mother assures me is the best taken of me within the past year. I usually hate pictures of me, so I left the choice up to her.

In answer to your question, no, I don't think it is crazy for us to feel close. I've felt close to you for much of my life, yet that was nothing compared to what I feel now. You know me so well, even without physically being there. This feels so strange, but in a good way.

Tell me about your relationship with you family. You said that I know a lot about you, but all I know is the facts. I want to know your feelings, about everything from family and world issues to what you think of people like Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake. I want to know everything, so see what you can cram into your next letter.

I wish I had someone to tell about this. I don't really have anyone that I'm as close to as I was Liz. My mom and I don't get along that well, and I barely ever see my father. My sister is busy with her family, so I don't want to distract her from her life. So far, the only one I've shared this is with my cat, Reject. He was a present to Liz when she was seventeen from a guy who liked her. She wasn't interested, so after she made that clear to him, the cat came to live with me. She'd named him Fluffball, but I thought Reject was more fitting. I call him Reeg for short.

Reject's Kooky Owner,
Missy

****

Dear Missy,

I laughed so hard when I read what you named your cat that I almost peed my pants. Don't worry however, I said "Almost". Haha.

My sister Avery looked at me a little strange when I did so, but I haven't told her or any other members of my family about us. I guess I'm a little afraid of how they will react. I feel such a deep connection, I suppose I can't handle the thought of anyone bursting my bubble.

You're even more beautiful than I imagined. You're a lot the way I imagined you. So is Liz. Somehow I just knew that you would have black hair. Is it still that short, or have you let it grow out a little? You intrigue me in so many ways...

My family is my life. They are such a huge part of my life, that I don't know where to begin to tell you about them. I suppose I'll start with a fact or two about each of them, and then you'll have to let me tell a little more each time.

My mom and dad are amazing. They are still so much in love, but not in a way that is annoying to us kids. They have the decency to save the mush for when they are alone.

I wish I could say the same about Taylor. He and Nat are so much in love that its disgusting. We're not as close anymore, probably because its difficult watching someone with everything you wish you could have.

Zac is still, Zac. He's crazy in an amazing way. He and Jessi are definitely the comics in our family. Avie's the quiet one, preferring books to people at times. Mac reminds me so much of Taylor, being crazy in a way that only his family can see.

And Zoe, Zoe is my baby sister. She may be five years old but she's forever our baby. We all love her to distraction, tending to spoil her in a way we will regret later on.

How about you? You said you aren't too close to anyone in your family, but what are they like?

Your New Best Friend (haha),
Isaac H.

PS. I think Britney is annoying and Justin's music is horrible, but he's a fun person to be around. That answer your question?

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