I suppose, before I elaborate upwards, I need to finish the foundation. People spend their whole lives striving to build their foundations. This may be a completion, or maybe it's just another brick.
In all honesty, I don't know.
Honesty surfaces alot when I talk, I have my reasons. I still remember when my parents told Alisha, Haden, and me that no matter what, they still loved us.
That day on the couch, my first examining of the floor for what it truly is, was the beginning of something. What is that something? I could claim it to be court battles, mediators, joint custody, or the constant packing of my possesions every two weeks for several years. The truth, however, is that these were just things that happened.
Imagine the inevetibility of tripping once in awhile; you've pictured my life.
It's my steadfast opinion that things don't happen for reason, they just exist. There exists no dive cause for my present day situation, my parents just outgrew each other.
The tree that was my family wilted into a shrub that consisted of two houses in this town. On both sides of this bush bloomed the blossoms of new relationships between my parents and their new lovers.
Finally, a blossom named Karin on my dad's side of the bush didn't wilt and die. Four years after his divorce from my mom, my dad remarried; I think I was 11.
Since their marriage, I haven't seen much of my dad. See, Karin was from back east and had a whole life there. My dad didn't have much but two kids, growing bills, and an angry exwife.
I think it's safe to say that ever since their chance meeting on an airplane, the result of two single tickes being placed together, my dad planned on moving to Karin's side of the continent.
After my dad's marriage, a mediator sat down between my dad and mom to negotiate a deal. My mom recieved full custody, my dad: the burden of child support.
His departure was an awkward one. He came to my mom's house with Karin. Karin stayed in the car while he talked to us. We didn't cry or beg, or me might have stayed. Instead we held back our tears and concentrated on the mementos he gave us. I'm not sure what he gave Alisha or Haden, but he gave me two things. A stuffed Mickey Mouse doll dressed in liederhosen and a marble chess set.
I don't know where the rodent effigy is, but the chess set sits in my room. With it, Tami taught me how to play the game. As a result of it's repeated use, half the pieces of the set have trouble staying upright; their bases have all chipped away.
Maybe it was a fair trade, a way to spend those afternoons, too strung out to do anything but move figures, for the presence of a father.
Maybe it wasn't bullshit when he said he still loved us.
Maybe I'm in denial?

Since the day he imparted me with those mementos, I've seen my dad a handful of times. Once at a funeral for my grandfather, another to see my newborn half-sister. There's more,m most of which blur into a sensation rather than an experience.
Ever felt the loss of a good friend?
Tami once asked me if I missed him, I shrugged. We were stoned, I doubt she remembers; I'm surprised I do.
My brother was 17 when our Dad left. Haden had the choice to go with him or stay with us. He stayed, but a year later he was gone. He gave me his guitar when he left. The strings on it now are the same ones from the day he gave it to me.
People love to impart gifts when they leave. Maybe that's why so many people leave suicide notes before jumping off bridges. So many questions, so few answers.
What else is new?
With the departure of the plane taking my dad to his new life, the shrub began to resemble a Banyo tree. My familys tree's roots didn't grow from the base, but dropped from the brances. My dad's roots landed in the soft furtile dirt of a new job involving a corporate ladder.
My mom's root wasn't so lucky. With the financial burden of three kids, she took another job and did odd sewing jobs on her weekends. In praise, Alisha and I were well provided for. Alisha got the clothes she thought were neccassary for survival while my mom wore rags. I always get rides to local shows on Friday nights while my mom had nothing to do because her contacts had been severed by this new lifestyle. It if weren't for my mom's generosity in transportation Tami and I probably have never really met.
For better or worse.

As time passed so did the hardships. Mom was promoted twice, dropped her other jobs, including the sewing, and suddenly had free time again.
Enter the scene a large group of men. A new life for my mom began. I belive I've already touched on these subjects.
Life slowly through the next few years evolved into the present situation. My mom's new life meant new freedoms for me. This freedom lead to Tami and my exodus from the world of the straight and sober. Alisha became more the person she was.