Nothing lasts.
I've learned this over and over.
Families, friendships, life, it all has a breaking point.
Little by little you learn that everything you say will be forgotten.
Everything you have will break or be misplaced. Any money you make will be spent.
One minute you can be just a normal ignored child.
Nothing lasts.
The next; you're questioning your mortallity.
Paper will crumble.
One instant ALisha was a normal 12 year old girl.
Steel will rust and fall away.
The next she was laying on the highways asphalt, bloodied and broken, bits of the windsheild stuck in her flesh.
Everyone you know will die an leave you.
She had been at a friends house when her friend started throwing up.
A mixture of rootbeer and asprin.
Needless to say that nights planned movie would have to take a raincheck. So her friend's mom decided to take Alisha home.
Into the car they went, Alisha and her friend's mom that is. Off into the night they went, routine activity.
One instant you'll be fiddling with the radio knob trying to find a station that appeals to a dishearted 12 year old girl, unknowingling pulling the steering wheel into the oncoming lane. The next your throwing your arms over your face as you make a frantic prayer in the miliseconds before your car collides into the red truck.
Your screams drowning out your passengers.
Nothing lasts.
Soon the screams are overwhelmed by the sudden screaching crunch of metal. The sound of something hitting the windsheild.
Nothing lasts.
Next there's silence. THe silence of death as Alisha's spirit abanddons her shattered body.
My silence as the deputy tells me and my mom that Alisha was pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital.
Nothing lasts.
The silence is shattered by my mom's sudden screaming and the deputy consoling her. Casting glances at me as I sit on the couch in our living room in silence. Or shock.
I always thought Alisha would outlive me. I was depressed often, she was always happy. I used to take cough syrup for a cheap high, she was vegan. Here I was; alive.
Alisha was gone.
Apparently i hadn't been working hard enough.
I sat in silence as my mom got over her hysteria and moved to sobbing. I sat in silence as the walkie talkie on the officer's belt crackled to life and called him to investigate a neighborhood watch complaint of a young female out past curfew. I sat in silence as he left, asking us if we'll be alright one last time. I sat in silence as my mom went to the phone and dialed.
When she said "Hello steve? SOmething horrible has happened can we talk?" I went to go sit in my room.

My one complaint is that i wish it was Alisha who learned that nothing lasts, and that I was the martyr.
Seems like it would of made things alot easier in the time to come. The next day i wake up, not quite remembering if it was my imagination or reality. Praying that it was just a violent dream and nothing more. Nothing lasts.
The door to the bathroom was closed so I knocked. "Just a minute" comes from the other side of the door.
A man's voice.
ALready my head hangs, it wasn't a dream.
Eventually though, the door opens and out walks the sherif from last night in nothing but his briefs.
"Hey," he says to me as he walks by, nodding his head upwards. I stayed silent and he shrugged. "Sorry about your sister,it's a real shame."
I run into the bathroom and vomit once; he shrugs once and walks into my moms bedroom. Standing at the sink afterwards, cupping my hands and using them to bring water to my mouth, i stare into the mirror.
The only color on my normally pale face are my lips and the black under my eyes. I may have gone to sleep last night, but I sure as hell didn't get any rest. Through the wall i hear the mattress in my mom's room creaking.
Back to the toilet for another round of dry retching.

When i get to school I still don't feel like Talking. No one knew what had happened, that was fine by me, i'd rather cope with myself in silence then have people pretend to feel sorry for me.
Nothing lasts.
As soon as Tami sees me she smiles and comes over.
"I hate the neighborhood watch, last night my bitch neighbor called the cops because I was out past curfew, can you fucking believe it?"
I can't help but laugh, leaving her to ask whats' wrong with me.
It isn't till halfway through second period that the call comes. I'm to visit the office and speak to the councilor. Tami looks up from making up her own answers on the test we were taking and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. My response is a shrug as i leave the room.


He's sitting behind his big desk. hands clasped and looking as grave as a terminal patient. When i walk into his office he nods a greeting to me, then gestures for me to sit in the deep chair across from him.
First of all, he'd like to offer his deepest condolances for my loss of family. But the real reason he called this meeting was to discuss my academic performance.
My plans for the future.
My choice of friends.
Like i said, nothing lasts, and the momentary respite from life, induced by Tami, was gone.
Broken.
Shattered.
Dead, like everything else in this world.
After an hour of this a knock comes from the other side of the wooden door, signalling it was time for me to leave. Another victim has arrived.
I said goodbye to the councilor and walked down the hall of the office to the door that lead outside.
Outside, it has begun to rain, and I slowly lean my head back and looked upward. Somewhere up there i was taught to believe that Alisha now resides.
Somewhere up there I was taught that there was this almighty being with a plan for each of us.
I laugh.
I realized that when i woke up it was a sunny day.
Nothing lasts.