Celebrity deathmatch*
Celebrity Death Match: Announcer: Hello homies and welcome to Celebrity Death Match! Today we have 2 gals that really want kick each other’s butt to show who has all the real talent. Winner today will be declared best female singer! Referee: And in ‘dis corner we have… Christina A.! Audience: *claps, catcalls, and roots* Christina: *takes a bow and waves to crowd* Referee: And in ‘dis corner we have Britney S.! Audience: *crickets chirp* Britney: *pulls out index cards* (in robotic voice) Hi—Everyone—thanks—for—the—apples umm.. hehe, I mean applause.. hehe.. *mutters* my agent is SO fired.. *mutter mutter mutter* Audience: *Roar of laughter and Boos* Referee: Oookay… umm, 1…2…3… FIGHT! *Bell sounds* Christina: Oh gosh.. This is gonna be the easiest win I ever had in my life!! Britney: (in nervous and quivering voice) Oh yeah?!? No way, I am gonna lay the smackdown on your canday! *blushes* ohh umm… Did I say that right? Christina: *laughs* BRING IT ON BARBIE! Britney: Time for me to release my secret weapon… *grabs referee mike* Britney: *deep breath* OHH BABAY BABAY!! HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME! MY LONLINESS IS GONNA KILL ME KNOW! HIT ME BABAY ONE MO TIMEEEEE!! Christina: *covers ears* AUGHHH! SHUT UP! Britney: *hits the high note* HIT ME BABAY ONE MORE TIME! Christina: That does it! I’ll hit you one more time alright… Christina: *fights piercing noise* *uppercuts Britney* Britney: *flies through roof* AHHHHHHH! OMG, I am gonna DIEEE! *falls back on ground* Britney: *lies on ground, appears to be dead* Audience: *cheers* Britney: *comes to* *spins head around* Look at da purdy stars Maw Maw! Wheee! Christina: *fans self off* Britney: *grabs purse from a girl in front row* Girl: HEY! That’s Mine you !#$%% !!!!!!! Britney: *digs in purse* *grabs lipstick and throws purse back at girl* TAKE THIS, FREAK OF NATURE! *Takes a swipe at Christina but misses* Christina: *grabs Brit’s hand and smears lipstick all over her face* Britney: *cries* Hey… No *sniff* *sniff* Fair.. *wahhhhhh* Christina: *laugh* Wierdo! NOW look who is the ‘Freak of nature’! HA! I guess bouncing around in that gay Mickey Mouse Club didn’t improve your aim. *laugh* Christina: *thinks* Hey… waitaminute, I haven’t gotten a chance to release MY secret weapon. *tosses hair* Christina: *jerks Justin from NSYNC on stage* *ties Britney to ring ropes and pins her eyelids up* Britney: JUSTIN! I love you! HELP ME!!!! Christina: *smiles Sweetly* Its too late for that! *kicks justins @$$* Britney: NOOOOOOOO! MY LOVAAA!! *WAHHHHHH* *cries so hard she chokes on tears* *gag* *is suffocating* *gasp* Christina: *throws Justin off stage* *dusts self off* *kicks brit in face until she has 2 black eyes* Britney: *falls limp* Christina: *cuts ropes* OMG!! Brit! Your implants slipped! *winks at crowd* Britney: OMG!!! AHHHHHHHH! *runs to bathroom* Christina: *laughs and digs in purse* Britney: *jumps back in ring* *wipes away a tear* THEY DID NOT SLIP! Hehe.. not that I have any… *voice drifts off…* Christina: *pulls gun out of purse* *aims at Britney* Britney: *gasps* AHHH! *has a heart attack and passes out* Christina: *pulls trigger and water sprays out* HAHA! Its only a water gun you moron! Britney: *snores* Ohhh…. *rolls over* that’s the spot.. *groans* Christina: OMG, Yuck.. *puts one foot on Britneys stomach* Audience: *goes wild* CHRISTINA, CHRISTINA! Referee:1…2…3! Referee: *grabs C.A’s right arm and raises it* I declare Christina winner of best girl singer fight! Christina: *smiles and waves with left hand* Announcer: Well, no surprise here! C.A has won! Britney is out for the count. Pity she’s having a GOOD dream though.. Anyway… SECURITY, GET THAT RAT BRITNEY SPEARS OUT OF THE RING! Security: *grabs Brit* Britney: *groans* Oh.. ohh…UMPH... *smiles in sleep* Christina: *takes trophy she won and knocks brit on head* Britney: *jerks awake* AHHHHHH! MOMMY?!? Christina: *fans self off again and re-applies make-up.* *walks outside to limo* Security: *walk behind building* *drops Brit in dumpster* Britney: WAIT! Wheres MY limo? Security: Your agent fired you. You are no longer a singer. *punches arm in air* And C.A took YOUR limo. Now she has 2. Britney: *wimpers* Well, *sob* At least I-- *sob* still have Justin! *sob*sob* Security: Nope. Justin is in the hospital with a broken arm, leg, and 2 black eyes. Britney: NOO! *sniff* I’ll have to walk to Louisiana… MawMaw will let me stay wit her! Security: *slaps forehead* Brit, we are in NEW YORK! Britney: *in slow motion* NOOOOOOOOOO! *cries* Security: Lets get goin’. She’s scaring me! Britney is forced to live in dumpster. All her fans have abandoned her and become Christina’s fans. Christina now has double the fans, double the money, and double happiness. Justin remains in hospital for months. Doctors say he’s going to be o.k. (shucks..)
