Okay, first and most simply, this may not turn out to be a huge rant. Admittedly there are many things about girls that do annoy me (and plenty of things about guys as well), but most of them need no elaboration. However, in the interest of wasting as much of my and your time as possible, I will write a little about each little thing that makes me annoyed.

Girls that are tanned when there's no possible way they could get tanned annoy me. This is especially bad here, because there is approximately one day in which the sun shines through the clouds every month or so. On these days the tanned girls are usually to be found wandering around in tiny shorts even if it's subzero weather and I'm freezing in a jacket and sweater. This is, of course, only to make it vaguely feasible that they have the ridiculous tans they do, because the tans are, naturally, as fake as their bleached hair. And this is another thing. Girls shouldn't have hair that's lighter than their skin. No, no, NO! Of course, I'm partial to fair skin and dark hair myself, but that doesn't mean girls who appear non-Caucasian (to be politically correct) because of their dark skin. This is especially creepy when they're so dark that their bleached teeth and white eyes are in wild contrast to their skin. It's just so... unnatural!

And another thing I find bizarre is makeup. Hamlet said it best when he said, "God has given you one face, yet you paint yourself another." This applies to girls with pasty skin who use blush, any girl who colors around her eyes, and the bizarre and outlandish fingernail colors they use. I still shudder at plain red, man, not just lavender-cyan-neon orange swirls. Oh, and lipstick is also weird. I mean, what's the point? Does it make you more attractive? I just worry about whether or not it would come off. And don't tell me it doesn't get in the way of eating. And speaking of which... watching girls with frighteningly long fingernails trying to pick things up, page through a notebook, or hold a pen is just funny. Maybe they thought up these things to give me a mental chuckle as I sit in class. Although personally, I'd be scared of being speared if she ever touched me.

Another thing is the vacant conversation that they seem to have perfected. This applies to guys as well. I don't know if they're just too thick to manage better, but I've actually managed to catch people off guard by answering the following question before it's asked. For instance, in "Hi!" "Hey. Nothing much. I'm fine, thanks. And how are you?" Ask them anything else, and they'll give you a position I'm assuming their parents or community gave them. Because if you ask them to explain why, they can't. Annoying people.

Another thing that annoys me about girls is conversation about girly topics. Like clothing. And shopping. I don't know many guys that have a wide range of expertise in the area, but personally, I don't know many clothes styles other than 'present' and wear the same trousers and sweater for days (sometimes weeks) at a time. And I don't shop for name brands. In fact, I barely shop at all, and the Salvation Army to me just means lower prices and neat, free things in the pockets.