Married Life...
A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks.
The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait
to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.
So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right
back..."
"Where are you going, coochy coo...?" asked the wife.
"I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have
a beer."
The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?"
She opened
the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25
different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different
countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing
that he could think of saying was, "Yes, loolie
loolie...but at the bar.... you know...they have
frozen glasses..."
He didn't get to finish the
sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying,
"You want a frozen glass, puppy face?"
She took a huge
beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was
getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie
roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres
that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be
right back. I promise. OK?"
"You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?"
She opened the
oven and took out 15 dishes of different hors
d'oeuvres: chickenwings, pigs in a blanket, mushroom
caps, pork strips, etc.
"But sweet honey...at the bar...you know...there's
swearing, dirty words
and all that..."
"You want dirty words, cutie pie?...
LISTEN, DICKHEAD! DRINK YOUR FUCKING BEER IN YOUR
GOD-DAMN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING SNACKS,
BECAUSE YOU
AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE! GOT IT, ASSHOLE?!"
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