| A Crazy Story Written By: Steve V. Jeff B. Dustin J. I was in the boat when I saw him. He looked mighty handsome to a young lady like me. My evening dress felt out of place among all the bathing suits around me. I decided that I must see him, so I jumped out and began swimming. I swam swiftly, and when I approached him, I exclaimed, "Darling! This is not an opportune time of year to be swimming in Brazil's Pirahna River!" The turkeys (pardon the foul language) were flying free in the midnight blue sky, and it was because of this distraction that my trouble began. To avoid being bombarded with a barrage of turkey excrement, I swiftly swam to the beavers dam that was near by. Suddenly, pelicans began carrying bananas to me in their pouches, and I ate three of them to sustain me. A beaver walked out and shouted, "Hey, you girl, get off my pet cat!" By that he obviously meant that I should leave. Since the turkeys were gone, I decided I should resume the quest for my prince charming. I soon returned to America and joined a mob of gangsters who threatened people with alligators on leashes in New Orleans. Prince Charming became a world renowned puppy tosser, so we didn't get much time to ourselves, especially since he lived in Pakistan. It hurts so much to be far away from the one you love. I had no choice but to pack my bags once again and fly to Istanbul, Pakistan, despite the terrrorist threats from Bin Ladin. When my plane landed, I was hit in the face by a puppy. I went against my first instinct of rage, and was overjoyed and began running to see my prince charming, with his arms wide open. We kissed for hours. Good thing we had that gum. Altthough it did stink to have our braces stuck together. But I couldn't think of a better guy to be stuck to. When we used my pair of scissors to part us (this being several hours later) we were finally able to carry out a civil conversation. However, his pet sister was tragicaly beaten to death by rabid lawn gnomes. He fell into a depression and refused to marry me. But now I'm happy, because I got a job doing what I love; training rodeo circus clowns. We still write each other. He writes of new ice cream flavors he's inventing, and I write about my Aunt Francis's crazy experiences as a lighthouse. I will always remember and cherish that romantic night at the beach where we met. Maybe someday, when we're 80, we can get married and have kids. Who knows in this crazy mixed up world. |