THE LAST SUPPER.
His lack of words confused me as we sat at the dinner table. Not one commen,not one gesture,no tone
trail of thought. For the first time i thought we were going to get through one dinner without somone
leaving the table,but it happened , just me and my unsecurities , for a stupid reason i opened my mouth
and i saw how that neverending story was over. Too quick to let me explain myself he stood from the
table threw his plate in the sink grabbed his coat and flew out the door. Was this the lat time i was
going to see him? I wished so many times that it was.But im to weak to live without him , hes just
everything I need , he completes me.. and..what now? Is this the end? tormented by these thoughts I
dreamt of the days we had together. I could not for the life of me find one day one happy pathetic day
where he didnt say something wrong about me. Yet I stayed and I stuck with it.And now, now that
hes gone im here waiting for his return as if life would not mean a thing without him. I woke up
sweating and wishing all of this was just a dream but "these" watery eyes told me everything.. he wasnt
coming back, it was the end of a dream we built together and it all went down just because of me, because of
me....christ what was I thinking? not one day of happiness with him and i am here sweating wishing
for some kind of hope or false life I made myself get up I had to get out everywhere I looked I saw
a memory. As I grabbed my coat and nothing else I headed for the door. I turned around for one
last dreadful look and opened the door. I walked out and closed the door in that moment Ifelt when I
closed everything I closed my memories, I closed my thoughts , I closed my hopes everything was gone,
I didnt have too much left...I had an empty house. Why would I want an empty house? an empty house
with nothing but empty dreams,dreams that never came true and would never come true. I walked
two steps and looked up. he was there sitting on the floor in the rain. I didnt want to stop, my hole
body told me to keep going but i couldnt, I loved him for some insane fucking reason I did, I loved
him. So this was the last chance i walked toward him and i looked at him i told him i loved him..that was all
I could do in that moment , he looked at me and he walked away, I called his name but he kept walking
. I stopped and realized that this was it all, my life i had been running behind an ilusion that didnt
exist. as he walked away I saw my hole life leaving me.I entered to that empty house again , took that
black and white picture with a broken frame , thats all i needed and i left the house forever, while i was
walking i was confused , why if i fought all my life to get what i had i felt like i had nothing? so what was
the purpose of living ? I took the picture and walked who knows where. Everything seemed the same
to me now. No place in the world could possibly make me feel alive. I walked to the diner where
for so many years we drank coffee there with no conversations. It was those days I missed and
hated I grabbed my coffee and walked out. I had nowhere to go so I started walking like a vagrant, just
walking cuz I didnt expect to find a place to crash a place where I could feel like I was in home. Suddenly I
ended up at the city bridge today it seemed blacker rustier and bigger than ever . I stopped there and it
felt great , I was still crying , still hating the shadow of that broken love but I felt great So I stepped on it
and I walked but as I walked I saw him,I saw him everywhere and realized that I would always see
him. I couldnt get away I loved him, I did, I loved him. I grew insane for him. I stopped and looked toward
the bridge, I tried to walk but I couldnt, I had stopped there, I was frozen on that bridge.I
was standing there in the middle of nowhere , the stars were looking at me and I looked down and the
water called my name so i let go. As I fell I let go of everything. there was nothing here for me. there
was nothing there for me. not once did I think of him.....not once.
by. Carlton-hate and Jenn motolenich