*this*
is emphasis
[this] is what people are doing.
Think stage directions, or something.
(this)
is author's notes. (I think I only use it once, but still) See how that works? Ok...
########
the night after christmas
Aya: [stands in the kitchen doorway, surveying the dissaster area
with narrowed eyes, packaging ribbon (green) stuck to his head and dangling
down beside an ear tail. He plucks it off and rolls it around one finger, then
chucks it in the wastebasket.]
Youji: [peers over his shades (also green) and
over Aya's shoulder] You're gonna make us clean up,
aren't you?
Aya: [nods without otherwise moving or changing
his expression.]
[Ken pops up between them, his
head partially wraped in gift wrap and ribbons. Giggling, Omi bounces up to
slap a bow on his forehead and dump more ribbons on Aya's head.]
Aya: [growls and tosses the ribbons away.]
Omi: Did someone say 'clean'?
Ken: Can't we leave it till tomorrow?
Omi: [pleading Omitchi eyes.] *whines*
Onegaaaaiiii?
Aya: No.
Ken: It's not gonna hurt anything if we do,
Aya.
Aya: No.
Omi: But it's *Christmas*
Ken: It's not Christmas if you haveta do dish--
Aya: [glares] No.
Ken: [eeps] Ok.
Youji: [puffs out chest and delicately lays his
fingers across his heart in a noble gesture] *I'll* help, Aya. [sniffs disdainfully at Ken and Omi] Slackers.
Suspicious
Omi: Youji-kun?
You want to *work*?
Suspicious
Ken: He's been in
the eggnog.
Defensive
Youji: It's
called Christmas spirit, grinches numbers one and two.
Ken: Yup. Eggnog. Definitely.
Omi: Don't you think you should lie down for a
while, Youji-kun?
Youji: [nose up in the air] C'mon Aya. You wash,
I dry. [glance at Ken and Omi] Since the two of *them*
aren't helping...
Ken: Okay, okay. *Anything* to shut you up.
Omi: Nods, adds another bow to Ken's head.]
[Ten minutes later. Aya has his
sleeves rolled up and is up to his elbows in soapsuds. Omi and Ken are still
standing around doing nothing and looking bored and a little shifty.]
Youji: [wanders by with a dishtowel]
Ken: [picks up a dishtowel.]
Omi: [sits down at table, plays with a spoon.]
Youji: [wanders by with a plate, drying it] Move
it or lose it.
Ken: [dries something]
Omi: [tosses spoon into the sink, splashing Aya]
Aya: [ignores them and keeps on washing]
Ken
and Omi: [go back
to being idle]
Youji: [rolls dishtowel into a rat-tail, flicks it at Ken's butt]
Ken: Aaagh!! Youji!!
Youji: Lazy and indolent.
Ken: Oh, like *you're* not.
Youji: *I'm* helping.
Ken: For once.
Omi: If we compare the amount of time *we* spend picking up *your*
slack around the shop...
Ken: And Aya's when he does his infamous
Fujimiya-dissapearing-act...
Aya: [Frowns at them over his shoulder]
Ken: Not that we mind, heheh.
Omi: . . . then its only fair that you two
work *now*
Youji: No it's not. Christmas is a *family* time. Working together is
part of the fun.
Ken: This isn't fun.
Omi: Can't we just sing carols or something?
Aya: No.
Youji: If you two would get into the spirit of
the holiday season, maybe it *would* be.
Ken: The spirit of the holiday season has to do
with dishes?
Omi: Are you celebrating a different holiday than us, Youji-kun?
Youji: [glares over his shades]
Aya: Shut up and get to work.
Ken: *That* was Christmassy.
Omi: The true spirit of the season.
Youji: [wanders past with a fork]
Ken: Yup. Christmas cheer all around. All we
need now is some roasted chestnuts and a death threat or two.
Aya: Work. Now.
Ken: Or you'll kill us?
Youji: [wanders past with another fork, drying
it] *I'm* helping, Aya. [puts fork away] See?
Aya: [Looks suspicious, watches Youji wander
back to the sink and pick up a spoon. Shrugs. Goes back to washing. ]
Ken: [Sighs and starts to wipe counter]
Omi: [Sighs and gets up. Starts
to dry dishes, stacking them neatly.]
Youji: [twists dish cloth back into a rat-tail,
flicks Omi's butt.]
Omi: Oww!!! Youji-kun!!!!
Youji: Lazy and indolent.
Omi: I'm *helping* already!!!
Youji: Oh.
Omi: [grumbles]
Youji: [wanders past with a salad spoon]
Ken: [edges towards door] I . . . um . . . have
to go . . . uh . . . *this way* for a while.
Aya: [glares at him] Why?
Ken: Ummm. I have . . . uh . . . business.
Aya: Get back to work.
Ken: I have to go to the bathroom?
Aya: Back to work. Now.
Ken: Aww ma~n!!!
Youji: [swats his butt with the dishtowel]
Ken: Oww!! Knock it off!!!
Omi: Are you *still* drying dishes with that cloth, Youji-kun? Ewww. It's touched Ken-kun’s's *butt*!!
Youji: So?
Ken: There's nothing wrong with my butt!!
Omi: It's unhygienic.
Offended Ken: It is not!!
Omi: Oh, come on. You sit down *anywhere*.
Youji: [looks suspiciously at dishcloth, looks at Ken. Tosses dishcloth away.]
Ken: Hey!!!
Omi: You could infect us all with microbes, Youji-kun.
Youji: I *changed* towels, already.
Ken: I thought you were on *my* side, Omi you traitor.
Omi: And speaking of microbes, I have homework I have to do.
Ken: Homework? You spent all vacation playing video games!! How do
you suddenly have to do homework?
Omi: It piled up.
Ken: And you have no choice but to get started
on it tonight? On Christmas?
Omi: The sooner the better.
Ken: You've got till January!!!
Aya: Omi. Dishes.
Youji: [wanders past drying another fork]
Omi: [grumbles, but picks dishcloth back up]
Ken: [looks around. No one is watching him]
Youji: [Wanders past with a salad fork]
Aya: [glares at Ken as he nearly clears the
door, starts to stalk over, (most likely to wallop him)]
Ken: You're dripping all over the floor, Aya.
Aya: Damn it. Youji, lock the door.
Youji: [locks door]
Ken: Damn it!!! [considers
fighting Youji for the key]
Youji: Don't make me swallow it.
Ken: Jeez.
Omi: You can't cuss on Christmas, Ken-kun.
Ken: Sue me.
Omi: [sticks out tongue]
Youji: [wanders by with a teacup delicately held
in long fingers, pinkie sticking out]
Ken: [watching] He's flipped.
Omi: [watching.] Uh-huh.
Aya: If you don't have anything better to do,
Ken, you can put away the leftovers.
Ken: I have *plenty* of better things to do,
except you two are holding me prisoner. [glares at
leftovers]
Omi: Holding *us* prisoner.
Ken: Hah!!! You *turned* on me.
Omi: I did *not*!!!
Youji: [wanders by with a saucer, pauses to watch
Ken and Omi bicker, starts to hum 'so this is Christmas', wanders
on]
Ken: Shove it, 'Youji-kun'!!!
Omi: [sulks as he keeps drying and piling
dishes]
Ken: [yanks open fridge.] Ma~n!! There's hardly
any room in here. I mean, we've still got leftovers from *last* year. [rumages through fridge] Hmmm. [rumages through cupboard] And we're all out of boxes, Baggies, pots, and Tupperware.
Aya: [narrows eyes at him] You'll
work something out, I'm sure.
Youji: [starts to roll up his dishtowel]
Ken: Don't even think it, shit-head!!!
Omi: Ken-kun!! Christmas...cussing...
Youji: Poor lost, pagan
soul...
Ken: Put the towel down, Youji.
Aya: [stoically ignores them. Keeps washing]
Ken: [sits down at table]
Omi: [keeps drying]
Youji: [wanders by with a teaspoon]
Aya: [keeps washing]
[ten
more minutes later]
Ken: Hey, Aya, you want any stuffing?
Aya: No. [keeps
washing]
Ken: Omi?
Omi: No thanks, Ken-kun. [keeps
drying]
Ken: Youji?
Youji: Nope.
Ken: Salad?
Aya: No.
Omi: No, thanks.
Youji: Nope.
Ken:
Aya: No.
Omi: No thanks.
Youji: Is that a drumstick?
Omi: I didn't realize we had turkey.
Ken: We didn't. I'm clearing out old leftovers
from the fridge.
Youji: Eww. [squints at
drumstick, then goes on eating it]
Ken: Ham anyone?
Aya: No.
Omi: No thanks.
Youji: I'm good. [wanders
by with a glass, drumstick hanging from his mouth.]
Ken: Potatoes?
Aya: [Grrs]
Ken: Well, someone eat *something* I'm *sooooo* full.
Omi: Why are you eating all that anyway,
Ken-kun?
Ken: Because were out of boxes, Baggies, pots,
and Tupperware. Its gotta go *somewhere*.
Youji: [wanders by with a saucer]
Ken: [raises eyebrow]
Omi: [frowns]
Youji: [wanders back and picks up fork]
Omi: What are you doing Youji-kun?
Youji: Huh?
Ken: Yeah. Just what *are* you doing?
Youji: [looks innocent] Helping.
Ken: By wandering back and forth?
Youji: I'm putting stuff away.
Omi: One by one?
Youji: I like it better this way.
Ken: Aya, you know he's just doing it so he
*does* less.
Youji: No, I'm not.
Ken: No wonder you've been kissing butt all
night!!
Youji: Who? Me? Kissing *his* butt? [swats Aya's butt with rat-tail]
Aya: YOUJI!!!
Youji: [Grins with innocent, boyish charm] heheh.
Merry Christmas?? [fumbles
for the kitchen key]
Aya: [Advances, dripping water and soapsuds all
over the kitchen floor.]
Youji: Aya! Mess!! [points
at puddles, then makes getaway as Aya compulsively cleans up]
Aya: [curses and breaks something]
Omi: Aya-kun...swearing...Christmas...
Aya: [Glares, curses some more, just out of
spite.]
Ken: Omi...shut up and have a drumstick.
Omi: [sighs]
Youji: [singing from the other room] Jingle
bells, Aya smells....
Aya: [growls; goes after him]
Omi: [Takes the drumstick from Ken's hand,
sighs, and sits down] Merry Christmas, Ken-kun.
Ken: Merry Christmas, 'Mitchi.
~owari
########
I was gonna write a sad, depressing
fic for Christmas where Aya dies or something, then I thought... nah. Anyway, all of *our* Christmases end pretty much like
this, (if its not dishes, it's the wrapping paper....) If it's not funny, you can
laugh at me instead....
Anyway... happy holidays folks!! Merry Christmas