A bride finding ball, a bride finding ball
Where every maiden's bound to laugh at me
The royal fatted calf
A bride finding ball, a bride finding ball
Though I'm the one who does the choosing
I'm the one who does the losing
It's nauseating, nauseating
Can't you just imagine it?
Hope springs in all
Short, fat, or tall
As they primp and preen and pray
That this will be their lucky day
There is no affair of which I'm aware
More galling to bear than a bride finding ball!

A bride finding ball, a bride finding ball
Where luscious lovlies from each land
Will vie to win the royal hand
A bride finding ball, a bride finding ball
With frills on dresses, party dresses
Every maiden effervescent
Giving her best, giving her all
Dancing, glancing, laughing, teasing
Whirling, swirling, touching, squeezing
There's no affair
To ever compare
Or thrill or enthrall like a bride finding ball!