I'm home for winter break...and nobody's around. Mom and Bruce are off checking out some community they might want to move to. Not to be overly pessimistic, but I'll believe it when I see it. I don't see them physically able to move with the state of this house, I have no idea financially etc. Like so many other parts of life, I'm just going to let this one go, It's their life, they can do whatever they like with it.

I always thought of myself as the quiet, reserved type (which most people will classify me as if you ask them) but you get me going and I just don't shut up, not that anyone's listening most of the time. I only mention this, because I just e-mailed Kate, and told her what I'd been up to, what my plans were and all that then here I'm doing roughly the same thing without repeating myself. Maybe I'm more comfortable rambling when I know they're not just waiting for me to shut up. One of the characters in Fight Club says: "When people think you're dying, they listen to you instead of just waiting for their turn to talk." Sometimes I feel like nobody's really interested in what I have to say, and they're just listening out of politeness. But I'm paranoid, and I'm rambling.

The other day I went Christmas shopping around downtown Asheville. I didn't bring any money, just looking for ideas. I think I've picked out Kate's present...It's longer than it is wide, and green for anyone keeping track. I always feel kind of nervous when I go looking for a gift for Kate...You can refer back to the T.S. Eliot quote in my previous entry. When it comes down to it, I don't want to screw up, or disappoint her, or get her something she doesn't really want. About the only way you can never screw up, is if you never do anything. I tried that for a while, and it's not much fun. I know her very well, and not very well at all. I know that she tries to be in a good mood as much as possible, and not upset people. I know that she's going to get all stressed out about a test that she's going to do fine on. And I know a lot of things that aren't going to be put on this page. But I don't know if she'd rather have a book or a CD, if so which one? What does she have, what doesn't she have? Would she rather have something more personal, unique? Important questions? Maybe. I don't know that she'd tell me she didn't like something I gave her, or if she'd just be nice about it. So, not knowing if I've screwed up in the past, makes it kind of hard to figure out how not to screw up in the future. She got me something I'd almost forgotten I wanted. It's a pewter dragon that I'll likely get a picture of at some point to put up here. But anyways, I'd always wanted something like that, but they were usually more expensive than I felt like spending on myself, so I'd put it on a list of things to buy when I had more money to throw around, and not much on that list ever gets bought. She gave me what I wanted, when I didn't know what I wanted. So, once again, I'm left to make my best guess, and hope it works out ok. Like I said, I think I know what I'm getting her, so I'm more or less off the hook until next time. Hopefully, I'll have some better ideas then.

Tomorrow's the Jazz Caroling at Jubilee...So, I plan to go sing and jump and jive, etc. I might call Nikki and/or Colin and/or Angela, see if they want to go. Nikki and Angela are going to be a little harder, 'cause they're farther away, need more warning etc. Also, I can't make long-distance calls from home right now. While I've been away at school, my mother's managed to get the long-distance switched off. So, I'll likely get one of those prepaid phone cards...and call her tomorrow early afternoon. Next year, I think I'd like to see if everyone can be in Asheville for the Caroling. Not everyone gets quite as much of a kick out of them as I do, but I don't think it would kill anyone to go either. It's an experience, I'll leave it at that.

Well, I think I've been long-winded enough, and mostly about stuff the majority of you didn't really want to hear about. So, I'll let you go, and save some of my ramblings for the next entry whenever that may be ; )
You know, if I really thought about what I said, or who might be reading it, I probably wouldn't write so much, or about what I write about... I think a lot of my webpage is like that...written on the assumption that not many people read it. Well, I'm really going to let you go now ; )