2-03-00 (9:09 p.m.) Well...let's get the simple stuff out of the way right now. Someone fixed the lock on the AURICS room, so I can get in again. I tried to get in this evening following my assembler class, and it worked, so I ate the sandwich that joe had left in there, and talked with Nikki, Daniel, and Goober (Mary Boyd) on IMs. Goober's been kind of having a rough time, and I talked to her, and she said I made her feel better, that made me feel kind of nice, but also kind of frustrated 'cause Kate won't talk to me...but that's an issue for the other part of this journal. I also discovered that I have slightly more readers than previously surmised. I was August my latest creation (Calvin's image on my poetry page), and when I got as far as http://members.xoom.com/Smithra Netscape on his computer guessed that I was trying to get to journal12.html. I pretended not to notice, out of habit, but in retrospect it's kind of silly, considering I knew I was going to write this ; ). It kind of makes me wonder if he reads anyone else's journal. Although that's really something for them to worry about isn't it ; ) That about sums up the easy topics for tonight. Anyone who's been keeping up with the journals, knows what the rest of this is going to be about, and anyone who hasn't is advised to backtrack. Partially because of my continuing lack of balls, and partially because there's a chance that I wouldn't be able to get through, or she'd be somewhere else when I called, I brought up the subject of my possible visit over IM. Her response reminded me of her response when I mentioned the possibility of coming back at 8:30...She has a basketball game friday, and was going to develop some pictures, she plans to spend saturday sleeping and developing pictures. As much as I doubt she'll do any work on Saturday, I couldn't challenge her on this point. As much as she's avoiding me, I can't help but think it's something I did. I started writing an e-mail to Sarah, to see if she could give me some insight, but then realized that what I was saying should probably be said to Kate directly, then I remembered Joe's advice that you shouldn't do anything like this via e-mail, and only by phone if necessary. I think this is one of the rare occasions where Joe is right. It leaves me here writing to an audience of about 3, who really don't know what's going on either. My primary options appear to be, go anyway (bad), call (bad), write (also bad), IM (worse than calling), and e-mail (worse than writing). I've ruled out going anyways, the point of notifying her ahead of time was to avoid stuff like monday. Major downsides to calling are that I'm a chickenshit (minor issue) and how much she's going to want to have a serious discussion in the 2B hallway (not so minor issue). Advantages to calling, it's the most personal option I have, and it's the most immediate. Advantages to writing: I can be very careful about what I say, and I can send her the journal I was hoping to be able to give her in person. Disadvantages: it's not really personal, and my handwriting's ugly. I'm leaning towards writing...but I'm not sure if it's because that's a better idea, or because I'm a chickenshit. I'll run my options by whomever's on tonight, and then do something about it tomorrow. I wish Joe were here... he's gone home for the next day or so, for a medical procedure which he probably doesn't want the world to know about. Maybe I'll talk to Colin about it. Kate thinks Colin doesn't like her, I really don't know (my phrase for the week). Essentially, I'm in about the same position I was a week ago. Well, that plus added suggestions that Kate really doesn't want to see me. Right now, I'm accepting any and all suggestions, insights and opinions.