4-02-00 (11:01 p.m.) "And she only reveals what she wants you to see She hides like a child But she's always a woman to me" --Billy Joel My life....complicated as always....although perhaps not so complicated as it's been in days past, perhaps I'm just not bright enough to see the complications. Friday I had a "chat" with my Physics instructor. My last test was the second lowest grade in the class. I think it was a 59. So, I'm needing to work really hard to show him that I'm not intentionally failing, and hope he's nice about it at the end of the year. Regardless, it's a major slap in the face/wake up call...and it made me forget to eat lunch, but that's not really relevant. Basically, I just need to work really hard in that class to make up for his being a lousy teacher. I know I can pass the class...but I want to do a lot better than just pass. But in the long term, I guess it's not that important. Saturday, I went with Joe, his father, Mike, and some friends of theirs to see Tina Turner...opening act was Lionel Ritchie...so that was pretty cool. It's not the music I usually listen to...but it was really neat nonetheless. She does alright for a 63 year old? I bought Kate a T-shirt while I was there, 'cause she said she was a fan of Tina Turner. She probably would've gotten more out of the concert than I did. I almost felt bad just going 'cause it's like an $80 ticket to a concert where I know maybe half the songs. I might have been the best of Joe's friends to go, but I'm sure there are people who could've made better use of the ticket, Kate as just one example. I was invited, and I went, and it's not like I'm responsible for distributing life experiences to everyone...so I had to keep reminding myself it was silly, and there wasn't much I could do if I had decided it wasn't silly. I try not to dwell on things I can't affect, but I'm just screwed up like that. Saturday late, Joe and I drive to Duke...to hang out with Daniel, and so we'd be a lot closer to the party in the morning. I ended up doing a review of the quote log/future quotes...trying to remember all the ones I said...laughing at ones I had forgotten...and all the usual quote stuff. The quote board is, in many ways, a record of our life. It's things we said, things we thought, and there's dates attached to all of them. Sunday I wake to the sound of nuclear launches...gotta give Daniel creativity points on that one. I roll out of bed (the floor) and try to make myself mildly presentable. We hit the cafeteria, then play Magic until time for Kate and Sarah's surprise party. We also wrapped a lot of Jello. For anyone who doesn't know...Kate and Sarah hate Jello...so we make sure they have some every year. We make it to the party, and Joe has to run back to State 'cause Hilary forgot to set her clock forward...and nobody's seen her. The party's, well it is. Nothing really spectacular, and they didn't seem especially surprised, though throwing a surprise party for twins is kind of difficult. Getting them both in the same place, at the same time without making them suspect something is not exactly easy. So, you got your gift giving, and your cake eating, and a lot of people drifting off, going back to their schools, or their rooms or their homework. I went and played Ultimate Frisbee. I gave her a Butterfly Kite. I thought it was pretty neat...I have no idea what she thought of it. Both Colin and Hilary wanted to know what she thought of it, and I told them both basically "Elaphino." *shrug* After all the partying was through, I went with her, her parents, her godparents, her sisters and their boyfriends to Outback. I ended up sitting next to her godmother. Her godmother's pretty cool. I also rode home with her godparents, so her godmother and I got to talk a lot, and I hope we run into each other again at some point. In the words of Orson Scott Card "but that's not what I want to talk about either." If you guessed that I was about to talk about Kate, then I'm both not surprised, and way too predictable. You got your traditional problem, something's bothering her, and she's not saying what. I didn't even bother asking. Basically, we spent the whole day surrounded by other people. I know she wouldn't have admitted to anything while in a public situation, and I don't know if she would've told me if we were alone either. It could be anything, but the fact that I don't know, bugs me. I try to make as few repeat mistakes as possible, so you take into account the last time I tried doing anything about her state of well-being and I'm tempted not to try anything. That's me avoiding the issues perhaps, but I don't know what else I'm expected to do. It's a non-ideal solution...well not really a solution...to a non-ideal situation. She's doing music for the Wiz which I didn't even know was performing this weekend, I think I'm going to try to make it next weekend. Maybe we can talk then...the weekend after that is the Loch Norman Highland games, so I'll definitely have time to talk to her then if not before. I'll probably bring the journal up then too. Or maybe I'll just chicken out and try to have a good time. I seem to do that a lot. *shrug* the age old phrase still is true: We will see.