| "It is not the function of a university to teach practical skills." |
| --Dr. Lasher |
| "Six months ago I told you this was not a good design and you pushed it up my damn ass." |
| --Dr. Lasher on program specifications |
| "The registers are your friends." |
| --Dr. Lasher |
| "It becomes a bitch at the assembler level." |
| --Dr. Lasher |
| "They put a little six sided figure on the floor, and they summoned the Devil. He looked into the future and said 'I know how to make people miserable for generations to come.'" |
| --Dr. Lasher, on segmentation |
| "Don't put bugs in your programs. I give this advice to all my students and, virtually, they all ignore me." |
| --Dr. Lasher |
| "Not my problem. You know why? Because I make the assignments up and you code them. You will have this problem. I will not have this problem." |
| --Dr. Lasher |
| "If you did this in C, they would come along and cut your... I take that back. They might possibly turn you into a eunich." |
| --Dr. Lasher |
| "This is not a condom." |
| --Dr. Lasher |
| "Forget this computer science crap." |
| --Dr. Lasher on the last day of class |