Lost in a world that belittles her, she is a lost soul. In her depressed state she brings audiences in tears causing them to flashback as they identify with the hurt. She is a symbol of the past, yet the inspiration of The Split’s first novel.
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VIOLATED
He did this not me. So why do I feel this shame taking over me?
NO AMOUNT OF REVENGE OR SHACKLES OF JUSTICE CAN UNDO WHAT HE DID.
I gave him my trust, I kept it real, showed him all my cards before the first deal.
Yet that wasn't enough for him.
He tainted my love with his initial stroke, and then tried to brush it off as if it were a joke. If I didn't scream would he still have kept on?
Kept taking what he thought he was owed.
My tears were a symbol of my pain and still he chooses to disassociate from my shame.
NO AMOUNT OF REVENGE OR SHACKLES OF JUSTICE CAN UNDO WHAT HE DID.
Maybe you can't understand it, cause you can't imagine the loss, so let me take you on a journey, a look into my life. I want you to be the man, the man that you are and for him to be your friend, the one that you trust.
Imagine your friend calls you at 3am, stranded and tired and looking for a place to stay. You have the room and you're a good friend so you do and he's says he'll be there soon.
Now imagine, he's arrived and you to go to sleep thinking it's all good. Now he's a man and you know he has needs, yet you never believed that his need would turn to greed.
If you can understand where I'm going just stay with the flow. For your face is now pressed to the pillow, now full awake with the shock from the pain and your boy's body weight crushing your own, giving it to you from behind nice and slow. Filled with doubt, fear and shame expressed through a tear rolling down your face, your screams ricochet in your head. Helpless from your arms pinned to the bed, questions of, why me, this can't be happening... Kill me.
And in a minute he is done not a moment too soon, he got up and got out of there. You didn't know what to do. Instead of being the man that you are, getting up and kicking his ass. You run to the shower to try to wash away the shame and try to regain your pride by hiding your feelings inside. So maybe you can see how:
NO AMOUNT OF REVENGE OR SHACKLES OF JUSTICE CAN UNDO WHAT HE DID.
Not when the scar remains unhealed, from the faceless product of pain never to be revealed. The pain that stops you from prosecuting that Mother Fucker, for fear of everyone knowing your shame and trying to deflect the blame on you. Taking blasts at your character, making mountains out of molehills when you're supposed to be the victim. Saying things like; you were nice to him so you deserved it. You invited him over late at night, what did you think was going to happen? Can you imagine?
Do you understand my shame? Can you feel my pain? I can only hope he'll never do it again a hope filled with regret as I pray you'll never do it ever!
D-Dee AKA The Split
