Chapter Thirty-Eight

Amber had made the journey back to the Gaian tribe the very next day, her heart heavy in her chest. Her life had become so complicated as of late and she didn’t know what path she should choose any longer.

She had already committed to pledging herself to Pride, but she still felt hesitant. She knew she cared for Pride. She cared for him more than she had once thought possible, but she also knew that he loved her far more than she loved him. Amber could not shake the feeling that to pledge herself to Pride she would be cheating both him and herself.

Amber was also torn by her desire to remain in the city with Ebony. Ebony needed her desperately. Ebony had shared with her that she was all alone now. The Mall Rats had basically thrown her out of the mall, no longer trusting her with anything. Ebony had tried on several occasions to convince them that the Chosen were still very active, but no one would believe her – least of all Bray.

“Bray.” Amber let out a long sigh as she pushed her way along the faint deer trails her tribe used to guide them back to their village from the city. “What am I going to do?”

She closed her eyes briefly, allowing her mind to take flight and bring her back to a time so many months ago when things were much simpler. It had been easy to love Bray at that time, but no longer.

At times Amber had to admit she deeply regretted not returning to the Mall Rats as Ebony had pleaded with her to do. But she had made her bed, or grave in her case, and now she had to lay in it.

“Eagle.” A voice that seemed to come from nowhere called to her softly. Amber whirled around, her sharp eyes scanning the foliage in front of her for the masked individual. “Over here.” The voice called again, this time from behind her. As Amber turned around she saw Panther seemingly materialize out of nowhere.

“Panther!” Amber exclaimed, her hand fluttering to her chest. “You scared me. How did you do that?”

Panther shrugged, watching her with careful eyes. “Pride asked me to watch the trails for you today. He figured you wouldn’t be back last night.”

“I told him I might not.” Amber fell in step with Panther who had moved to continue down the thin trail.

“Is it true that you are pledging yourself to him?” Panther asked suddenly, casting a glance over her shoulder to look Amber in the eye.

Amber took a deep breath, taken slightly off guard. She had not expected Pride to say anything about their pledging – or at least not yet. “Yes.” She answered finally, pursing her lips together as she did so, trying to force all thoughts of Bray out of her mind.

“But you’re still in love with someone else.” Panther stated bluntly, now stopping and turning to face Amber.

Amber frowned and tried to cover the deep flush of crimson that had crept to her cheeks by ducking her head slightly. “No, I’m not.” She stated firmly, willing her heart to listen.

“I don’t believe you.” Panther stared hard at her. “You’re still very much in love with someone in the city, aren’t you? That’s why you feel so torn between The Gaians and your former tribe. What were they called again? Rats?”

“Mall Rats.” Amber corrected her softly, her determination slowly ebbing away. Somehow Panther knew more about Amber than she knew herself. “And yes, I was very much in love with someone from that tribe, but not any longer. I have put that life in my past. Amber is dead. I am now Eagle.”

Panther chuckled sarcastically, rolling her eyes as she did so. “Do you really expect me to believe that, Eagle?” Panther stated, emphasized her name.

“It’s the truth.” Amber gritted her teeth, clenching her fists at her sides. “I don’t love Bray any longer.”

“Bray? So that’s his name, eh?” Panther seemed slightly amused at the name, though Amber couldn’t figure out why. “So why do you still talk to him while you’re alone…Or while you think you’re alone?”

Amber shook her head, knowing that Panther had obviously overheard her heavy sigh earlier while she had been walking. “It’s not like that, Panther. I loved him very much, but our love died on Eagle Mountain that day that I dug my own grave.”

“Maybe his loved for you died because he thought you were dead, but Eagle, you know you’re still very much alive. That love is still strong inside you. I can tell.” Panther stated firmly. “And I think you are being very unfair to Pride.”

“He knows all about Bray.” Amber shook her head sadly, knowing that Panther had just voiced the doubts that had been plaguing Amber since Pride had spoken to her two nights before about the pledging ceremony. “And I’ve told him that I still need time many times.”

“And he’s still pressuring you to pledge yourself to him?” It was now Panther’s turn to look startled.

Amber nodded mutely. “I only consented yesterday just before I left for the city. I think he was afraid I wouldn’t come back if he didn’t have some sort of commitment.”

“And would you have?”

“Yes.” Amber answered her without any hesitation. “My place is with my tribe. Yes, I have many friends back in the city, but I made my choice and I am sticking with it. Bray is no longer a factor in my life – whatsoever.”

Panther stared at Amber for several longer minutes before finally nodding her head, almost as if to say she approved of her decision. “Well, Pride will be glad to hear that.” She said before turning back to the trail. “And he is waiting for you.”

Amber hesitated for several seconds before pushing forward on the trail after Panther. She had not been prepared to face anyone at that moment but what she had voiced to Panther was the truth – she had given up Bray when she had firmly positioned the old wooden cross in the stones atop Eagle Mountain.

~*~*~

“Danni are you sure you’re alright?” Bray inquired for the third time that day, watching his girlfriend with tender eyes. “You’ve been acting weird since yesterday.”

“I’m just a little stressed. That’s all.” Danni easily lied. She was still marveled by how easy it came to her. Before the virus she had felt horrible after ever lie she told but she had grown so accustomed to it now that it hardly bothered it. “And I’m worried.”

“About Ebony?” Bray frowned, creasing his brow, obviously in deep thought. “Me too. I really don’t trust her, but Jack hasn’t been able to find anything that proves she has betrayed us.”

“Do we really need proof?” Danni snorted, rolling her eyes at the thought of the manipulative former Loco. “We know Ebony. That’s all the proof we need.”

Bray bit his lip and looked as if he were about to argue, but ended up just nodding his head, though his eyes reflected a sadness that Danni knew she would never be able to touch.

“Bray, can I ask you a question?” Danni hesitated, wondering if now was the right moment to ask him the question that had been plaguing her since the moment Salene had hinted at it the night of the dance party.

“Sure, anything?” Bray asked, looking her straight in the eye.

“It’s about Amber.” Danni warned him, feeling her heart grow a little cold at the thought of the young woman she had basically replaced in Bray’s heart.

“Danni, we’ve been over this. Amber’s d-dead.” Bray’s voice quivered as he spoke, a fact that did not go unnoticed by Danni. “It’s you I love.”

“I know that Bray,” Danni began to lose her nerve. “But what if she were still alive? Would you still love me? Would you have chosen me if you had to pick between her and I?”

Danni could tell she had taken Bray off guard by her question, but she needed to know. Salene had told her that no one could ever possibly replace Amber in Bray’s life.