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    Bradley didn't save me though. He didn't take me away from my bad parents. He didn't. I wasn't that lucky. If I wanted to survive, I had to choose to do so without his extra help.
     My fate for the weekend was sealed. My fate for the lifetime of heartache and pain was sealed. I know that when -J- had sex with me, which I didn't know what that was at the time, my thought and hopes of ever loving him ended. I hated my father. I hated the way that he looked at me. It made me feel awkward. It made me want to avoid him. I didn't want this, but I was destined to forever live in this pain. I was destined to forever be a slave of the wrath of my parents.
     My chores, which had to be done, were timed. I had to get each room done on the time allowed for them. If I didn't succeed in this, I was once again punished.
     The first room, the kitchen, had to be done in two hours. I didn't have a concept of time, but the alarm that was set helped me understand. The bathroom alsohad to be done in two hours. It gave me enough time to get a grip on things, and recoop. It gave me enough time to clean up the mess, as well as the mess it made of my life. I had to put that invisible wall of protection up, so that no one could see me dead inside. I had to put on that mask of being happy, and the mask that nothing was wrong. Many layers of the mask I had. Maybe layers between me and anyone who would be ready to conquer it.
     My parents room was the next room. I had to put their bed in order and pick up their clothes, making sure there wasn't anything out of place. Here is where I was doomed as well. There was no set time limit on the parents room, not to my knowledge.
     I wrote a chapter on this time in my life, in my book that I'm writing, and I'm going to just type that chapter here, instead. Keep in mind that this SAME event didn't happen every Saturday, but that something like this happened.
     This was written a very long time ago. December 15th 1995 is the first time I started writing this book, and I haven't touched it for over a year, due to avoiding writing down my memories that I have had over the last couple of months.

"The Unforgotten" by Angel Destiny

    One of the worst times in my life, was when -R- and -J- both took advantage of something that I did wrong. This was so confusing and scary to me. I didn't understand why it hurt so bad, and that they always said that it was suppose to feel good.
     We were in -R-'s and -J-'s room, and they were punishing me. All my clothes were off, and I was laying on their bed. I was completely under their control, and had no way of moving out or getting over.
     I remember that I was punished because I didn't get all of my chorus done. It was the weekend, and I was suppose to have all the laundry and all the dishes and all the rooms cleaned up before -J- got back from work. I hadn't done everything that I was told to a million times to do, because -K- was sick, and wanted to be by "mommy." I couldn't just let her stay there in her crib in pain with no one to comfort her, so I just layed there with her, comforting her and telling her that she was alright. I rocked her in my arms, instead of cleaning the rooms. The only room I didn't get done was the kitchen, and sweeping and mopping of the bathroom, and three loads of laundry, which I know there was only one load left, but i couldn't argue with -J-. They were mad at me because I didn't have a excuse why I hadn't done everything right like I was told, because i couldn't tel them that I was with -K- who was sick. That would only make them go to -K- and punish her for distracting me from my job.
     Therefore, I was on my own to deal with everything that -R- and -J- had planned for me, which wasn't something that I wanted to deal with. -R- was holding my arms down so they couldn't move. She was touching my body all over, and putting her mouth on my nipples, telling me that this would remind me not to slack off on my job. She was saying that she loved me, and reminding me that i shouldn't repeat any of this to anyone else, because then they would know how bad I was and would punish me again for being rude to my parents. Needless to say, that kept me quiet, because I didn't want to have to go through this again, and I didn't want to have to endure the pain of this once again.

WILL TRIGGER