ricky

I love you so much.
I can't express how much I love you.
My heart hurts to think of you,
and know that you aren't here by me.
My eyes bring tears to them,
at the thought of loosing you.
You are my child.
the one that I love.
More than anything in the world.
I want you to know,
that I love you,
with all my heart,
and I don't ever want to cause you any harm.
Please find the compation to forgive me,
for doing all of this to you,
for putting you through adoption.
I know that it must hurt,
For I am hurting doing this,
Understand that I want you to have the best,
And sadly that's not with me.
Because I know that you will have
a great time with you new life.
When it finally starts,
and I am out of it.
I really love you Ricky ******* ********.
I really truely love you.
Please forgive me.

No, it isn't true.
It can't be.
Not you.
I remember,
Telling you,
asking you for help
Asking you for safety.
I remember you,
grounding me.
For life.
But no!
It can't be.
Did you?
Am I dreaming?
Am I making it up?
Is it for real?