Subject: Be careful of what u might find when u r camping
> WARNING.... Not for the feint hearted... I trust you will all have an
> astoundingly better day than this poor loser does....
>
> Take a deep empathetic breath before you commence...
>
> Is there such a thing as safe pache?? Here's a late entry for the Darwin
> Awards - an award generally given out posthumously for the most stupid way
to
> die -- if there is such a thing.
>
> A premed student from the University of Arizona was looking to score big
with
> his date on a Friday night. Determined to put the girl in the mood, he
drove
> her up to a spot on Mount Lemmon, which overlooked the city of Tucson.
They
> walked to an open knoll where they could see the city lights. Overcome by
> the romantic locale, she succumbed to his pleas and they stripped down,
made
> a bed of their clothes, and passionately began making love.
>
> The heavy storm clouds rolling overhead and the low rumble of thunder
inside
> them excited the lovers even more. At the first few flashes of lightning,
> they never looked up to see the charred remains of once great trees. Their
> idyllic clearing was a hotbed of electrical activity during the warm
desert
> nights.
>
> With a blinding light, a bolt of lightning struck the high point on the
> knoll, which happened to be the premed student's ass, and sought the path
of
> least resistance -- straight down!
>
> Incredibly, he survived, but was in excruciating pain. The heat of the
> lightning had fused together flesh and latex so that the lovers were now
> stuck together like a pair of dogs. The girl, unfortunately, did NOT
survive
> the lightning strike! When the student looked down into the vacant eyes of
> his girlfriend and realized she was dead; his immediate repulsion caused
him
> to jerk away from her, which of course, he couldn't! A wave of pain and
> nausea made him vomit into the girl's face and open mouth!
>
> Having only caused more pain and repeated vomiting until he finally passed
> out. Attracted by the smell of "food," a bear found its way to the
Siamese
> lovers and began to lick semi-digested pizza and Buffalo wings from the
dead
> girl's face. The student came to, but when he saw the bear, there was
little
> he could do but lay there silently in fear. To his horror, the bear
became
> dissatisfied with just a lick and started to eat the girl, loudly
crunching
> her facial bones only inches from his ear. The bear also tasted the
student,
> scraping the back of his skull with its teeth, before moving on.
>
> Around midmorning a group of junior girl scouts, up for a fun weekend
> camp-out, arrived at the campsite where the premed student's car was
parked.
> It was only a matter of minutes before three screaming girls discovered
the
> student, who had regained consciousness several times in the night and had
> managed to drag himself and the partially eaten girl about 20-feet.
>
> Doctors managed to "successfully" separate the student from the corpse,
but
> Mr. Happy looked like a small piece of cauliflower in its flaccid state.
The
> first hint of arousal resulted in so much pain, that the student was
> unable--and unwilling--to achieve an erection.
>
> Future surgeries may produce a reasonably functioning penis, but the
> student's family jewels, referred to by the doctors as the "scrotum mass,"
> are irreparable.
>
> Although most Darwin Awards are supposed to be won posthumously, we think
> this guy deserves consideration since he successfully removed himself from
> the gene pool.
>
>
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