Greatest JLA Lines

collected by Michael Weyer

SUPERPOWER

Mrs. Antaeus: "The J.D.L.? But we're not even Jewish."
Mark: "The JLA, Mama."
Mrs. Antaeus: "Go, go. Save the world. Who can stop you?"
Superman: "Too bad he didn't quite get the 'S' quite right."
Green Lantern: "Am I nuts or does that Mark guy not like me?"
Wonder Woman: "Well, what's one got to do with the other?"
Surgeon: "You sure you don't want some nitrous?"
Mark: "Not when I can learn."
Green Lantern: "I mean, I"m just here to run out for coffee, right?"
Flash: "Actually, that's my job."
Green Lantern: "Move outta your own house, leave your girl, leave your town, your planet and move into a nice apartment----on the moon. Yeah. That's reeeeeal normal."
Mark: "If you could stop Hitler before he started World War Two, or killed anybody, would you?"
Superman: "Hmm. Some question. I didn't realize you had such a philosophical bent, Mark."
Mark: "Well, the JLA has traveled through time before, haven't they?"
Superman: "Yes."
Mark: "Then why does it have to be a philosophical question?"
Aquaman: "This is one Justice League policy with which I find no fault. We never interfere with issues of state."
Mark: "So just forget about it. It's done. And now there's one less murderer in the world."
Green Lantern: "Not the way I add it up."
Superman: "Every time I have to throw a punch in the name of peace, I felt as if I'd failed."
Mark: "Somebody might have been killed."
Superman: "Somebody was killed. And I have to believe that, as long as one of us is around, with all our power, that never has to happen."
Mark: "Wonder Woman and Aquaman couldn't stop me, what can you possibly do?!"
Batman: "Whatever I have to."
Superman: "He wasn't a bad man. He was a good man....who did a bad thing. And if you can't tell the difference between the two----then what the hell are you doing here?"
FOREIGN BODIES

(Due to the body switch theme, the quote is attributed to the actual hero while the second name is the body he/she is inhabiting)
Kobra: "I am the inheritor, fated to lead the swarming multitudes of mankind through the coming dark millenium----granted dominon over the Earth all that lives upon it before time began."
Jason Burr: "How can you hope to master a world, when you are not even master of your own mind?"
Kobra: "Like the gods of old, I will govern this world from high above the unwashed masses, dispensing my wrath on those below as I see fit. It has been said that the moon is a harsh mistress. But from upon this airless rock I will build my empire. For this is the ultimate military high ground."
Superman: "What we're seeing is enough to give anybody a cold shiver."
Batman: "Speak for yourself, Superman."
Green Lantern: "So some of us have lots more hands-on experience with bad craziness that others."
Superman: "Anyone care to debate our options for courses of action? I didn't think so."
Steel: "Robo-Nazis with bad dialouge! I have nightmares like this!"
Jason: "You're out of your mind, brother."
Kobra: "Not yet. But soon....Soon...."
Batman (Superman): "Zauriel, you----"
Zauriel: "-----Need to help J'onn deal with monosomatic corporeality before morphological shock sets in."
Batman (Superman): "Fine."
Batman (Superman): "Accident? Hardly."
"Superman" (Batman): "Uh huh. Then what would you call it?"
Batman (Superman): "A preemptive strike."
Zauriel: "Forcible transmigration of sould.....It never ceases to amaze me, the things you mortals manage to come up with to do with all that free will of yours."
Plastic Man: "It's 'Freaky Friday Part Two: Electric Boogaloo!'"
Flash (Steel): "How'm I supposed to run this suit? I can't even program my VCR!"
Steel (Green Lantern): "At least it works. I'm stuck with the world's only extraterrestrial piece of junk jewelry. Shoddy design work, if you ask me."
Green Lantern (Martian Manhunter): "That's not a glitch, that's a feature. There's a safety program that shuts it down on anyone with the wrong brain patterns."
Aquaman (Wonder Woman): "Be glad your brain patterns are the only things that've chance. What will I tell Mera? Never mind....I don't want to talk about it...."
Green Lantern (Martian Manhunter): "Hey, look on the bright side: You got a hand back out of the deal. Think of it as, like proof of some kind of thermodynamic 'conservation of anatomy' principle."
Batman (Superman): "An utterly ruthless strategic and tactical genius, Kobra favors intricate, multileveled plots that border on the needlessly byzantine. In fact, I've suspected certain of his more outlandish schemes were intended to fail, to encourage his opponents to underestimate him. We dare not make that mistake."
Huntress: "Look, you have to keep in mind that your center of gravity's changed."
Aquaman (Wonder Woman): "So I've noticed.
Aquaman (Wonder Woman): "I remember how the lasso works."
Wonder Woman (Psykosis): "Oh, Arthur----that's sweet. And here I thought you'd forgotten...."
Martian Manhunter (Aquaman): "Pardon me, gentlemen. I believe I've just reached a deeper understand of Aquaman's tendency towards moodiness. Even minor injury, if unexpected, can be....most unpleasant."
Batman (Superman): "You don't ignore pain, you use it."
"Superman" (Batman): "For what?"
Batman (Superman): "Motivation."
Flash (Steel): "Steel, I'm techno-babble-impaired, remember? Now what's the deal with this hammer?"
Steel (Green Lantern): "It dampening field amplifies its inertia relative to the distance thrown."
Flash (Steel): "Oh, come on. You just made that up."
Flash (Steel): "Interial dampening field my skinny white butt..."
Steel (Green Lantern): "'White?' Heh. Take off one of the gloves if you want a real surprise."
Green Lantern (Martian Manhunter): "Jeez, Huntress, what's with the face? Somebody you hate go and not die on you?"
Huntress: "I've been teaching remedial combat techniques to the gender-challenged."
Zauriel: "Don't worry about Guam. That's not Kobra, just the Underangel Airisaul warming up for the upcoming End Times Fireworks Spectacular."
Huntress: "I must've been out sick the day they covered that in Cathechism."
Martian Manhunter (Aquaman): "Being named 'Eel' does not qualify you as an authentic member of that marine species!"
Plastic Man: "Maybe not, but my mind's almost primitive!"
Plastic Man: "Well, you know what they say: Life's abyss.....and then you dive....."
Aquaman (Wonder Woman): "The awkwardness is bad enough-----but it's the irony that's the most galling! There are times I've wanted to get closer to Wonder Woman----but this is ridiculous! Why am I telling you this?"
Zauriel: "I'm an angel, remember? It comes with the job. People just seem to want to confess things to me."
Oracle: "So, how is it being Superman?"
Batman (Superman): "Hhh. I'm adjusting. Some minor psychological discomfort from going maskless."
Oracle: "You know what I mean."
Batman (superman): "Exhilarating. Dangerous. The temptation to fall back on the powers instead of relying on skill, training and intellect could easily lead to an erosion of judgment. I'll be glad to be rid of them when this is over."
Batman (Superman): Not bad. But next time, underplay the sibilants."
Superman (Kobra): "Acting lessons can wait."
Plastic Man: "Aquaman smiling! Never thought I'd live to see the day!"
Aquaman (Wonder Woman): "I've always assumed that it was simple greed and shortsightedness behind their callous disregard for the world's oceans----but now I have to ask myself if resentment isn't part of it, too. Fear of an alien realm in which they are manifestly not welcome."
Wonder Woman (Psykosis): "You are not Superman in Batman's body-----you are Kobra, posing as Superman in Batman's body!"
Kobra (Batman): "I will still prevail! The watchtower will be mine! You will die in agony at the hands of my-----"
Green Lantern (Martian Manhunter): "Y'know....you really ought to shut up more."
Green Lantern (Martian Manhunter): "Get creative!"
Steel (Green Lantern): "I'm an engineer, not an artist, dmmit!"
Green Lantern (Martian Manhunter): "Blueprints, man! Think blueprints!"
Wonder Woman (Psykosis): "I may no longer be the Goddess of Truth, but I am still its champion----and for the sake of these soldiers Kobra has deceived and misled-----I would see the truth revealed!"
Superman (Kobra): (Fighting Kobra): "That's one I learned from the Parasite. Doomsday didn't like that one, either."
Superman (Kobra): "Our greatest asset isn't the physical might of our bodies, but the strength of our resolve. The power that comes from the heart----when you know the cause you're fighting for is good, and true, and just."
Oracle: "No wonder he spends so much time hanging out with Clark Kent. He must have the poor guy writing speeches like that day and night."
Oracle: "What was it, Kobra? Did you think I was too unimportant to include into your plan----or did you leave me out on purpose, so that I'd be distracted by the thought of what might have been if you hadn't? Thinking about being able to walk again....maybe to run at the speed of light, to swim beneath the sea, to fly....even for a day. Knowing all along it'd have meant leaving one of the others trapped as a paraplegic. Damn you, Kobra, for even making me consider it. Damn you."
Kobra: "Puerile sentimentality. One such as I has no use for such things."
Jason: "That is why you fail, Kobra. Until you learn otherwise-----your reach will ever exceed your grasp."
PRIMEVAL

Disciple: "You see, it's all to do with symbols, doctor. A culture is defined by its symbols. They give us power, make us what we are. Why do you wear a white coat? It's the symbol of your office. Why do those police outside wear uniforms? It represents their role in society. This entire wretched century is spawned from its symbols!"
Superman: "I think we found our man."
Aquaman: "Man? I wouldn't be so sure....."
Wonder Woman: "If that was your best shot....this should be a formality."
Batman: "If there's one thing fighting crime in Gotham has taught me....it's that nothing is ever pointless or random."
Batman: "Another mad freak. I hate made freaks."
Flash: "Sorry. Strange. I overshot."
Green Lantern: "How much?"
Flash: "Japan much."
EARTH 2

Luthor: "How very charming. I've just reversed across the matter/antimatter membrane in a homemade ship and this is my reception? My dear country cousin, you are human....I am Luthor. Now....where can I find the super-people around here?"
Flash: "I just checked everybody for I.D. Starters: A dollar bill with the face of Benedict Arnold where George Washington should be. Anybody else hearing that little 'X-Files' whistle on this one?"
Luthor: "I'd like you to cancel all of the appointments in my diary. But tell the President I love him very much."
Luthor: "I feel a brain wave or two coming in, and I intend to surf."
Martian Manhunter: "Can you see the unusal modifications at every eight angstrom in his DNA? He also has several sophisticated telepathic locks protecting his thoughts and----"
Luthor: "I'm not a lab rat. The Justice League. God below."
Ultraman: "They insult me within earshot, they know what to expect. Big Brother is watching you."
Luthor: "On my world, there's me! Heroism is a dirty word. I risked everything to reach this universe. Don't send me back to that hell with just platitudes! Have you no idea what it is to be alone against a world of shadows?"
Green Lantern: "I mean, every superhero's got to make at least one trip to the antimatter universe, right?"
Superman: "Alone against a world of evil, Batman. I've made my decision."
Ultraman: "Hoist the Jolly Roger high....and prepare to board."
Owlman: "What was that pirate drivel?"
Power Ring: "I'm trying to take a leak here and you sound like a drain."
Wonder Woman: "Evil isn't the reflection of good, Batman. Good is the reflection of good."
Ultraman: "'Justice?' This is a coup!"
Batman: "....People should be more careful with guns."
Owlman: "And call me 'smartass' again, I'll cut your speed powder with horse laxative. You'll be the fastest skid mark alive."
Ultraman: "There is justice after all. A whole new world stretched out and screaming. Start with terror. Always soften them up with fear. Look at that! Look at it all burning down!"
Martian Manhunter: "We are from different species."
Superwoman: "I'll try anything once. Ask anyone."
Martian Manhunter: "I am a Martian telepath: My people were shapechangers and we learned to see what lies beneath outer appearance. I do not find what I see in you....attractive."
Flash: "I only need key words, Doctor Luthor. I'm thinking at 70 thousand miles per hour."
Wonder Woman: "We failed them. We failed Luthor."
Batman: "Only because our methods can't succeed in this world. It's a law of nature; everything we do is ordained to fail. Even good deeds go bad here, Diana."
Wonder Woman: "I keep thinking about Luthor. Alone, doomed to fail. I don't know if I could have the strength and conviction to lose so relentlessly. Do I try too hard sometimes?"
Batman: "No one tries too hard to make the world better, Diana. You can never shout too loudly in the name of freedom. That's what I hear, anyway."
Superman: "A note of idealism, Batman? From you?"
Batman: "Your super-hearing must be failing. Just saying I've noticed something about people who try to change the world....The world turns around and changes them right back."
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